Anonymous
08/12/2018 19:50
Subject: Re:Personal issue ( my mom)
You are pathetic, OP. You didn’t get the response you wanted so you lash out like a silly child. Be gone.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 19:40
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
OP, I think you are missing the point here: you have asked your previous family “can I bring my mom to work?”. They said OK. You are assuming here that the family was happy/did not have an issue because they allowed it. What previous posters are saying is that your assumption might not have been true. Your family might have gone along with your request because for them it was the lesser of the three evils: letting your mom come, having you upset because you can’t socialize with your mom, or having you take PTO/quit which would have resulted in less of quality of childcare.
Have you given this a thought? How do you know that they we’re not saying behind your back “I’m spending all this money on my nanny, and she has her mom here for 3 months so how do I know that my kids get 100 percent of attention”?
The simplest question: what if your mom falls and hurts herself in their house? Who is responsible for that injury?
When an MB hires a nanny we want life to be easier for US and OUR FAMILY. We want zero drama. Nanny’s mother introduces a possibility of drama, no matter how nice the mom is, how helpful and how nice the nanny is... when you are hiring a new nanny this is a major minus towards that candidate... and for $30/hr, there are probably quite a few qualified candidates for the new family not to risk the drama.
You came to this forum with a question. This is one of few times both MBs and Nannies here agree: don’t do it, buy Mom a city guide and make the weekends count! You don’t like this answer. Go ahead and bring Mom to the interview.
Have you given this a thought? How do you know that they we’re not saying behind your back “I’m spending all this money on my nanny, and she has her mom here for 3 months so how do I know that my kids get 100 percent of attention”?
The simplest question: what if your mom falls and hurts herself in their house? Who is responsible for that injury?
When an MB hires a nanny we want life to be easier for US and OUR FAMILY. We want zero drama. Nanny’s mother introduces a possibility of drama, no matter how nice the mom is, how helpful and how nice the nanny is... when you are hiring a new nanny this is a major minus towards that candidate... and for $30/hr, there are probably quite a few qualified candidates for the new family not to risk the drama.
You came to this forum with a question. This is one of few times both MBs and Nannies here agree: don’t do it, buy Mom a city guide and make the weekends count! You don’t like this answer. Go ahead and bring Mom to the interview.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 19:35
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here I am sorry that you had bad experience. There is different in Mom and child. Your nanny used to take care of her kids during work hours but my mom is helpful for me. She is not my child that I have to take care of her.
I really don’t know why all nannies replies are negative. When the families had no issue why they have issue.
Or I am fortunate that I had been with very nice families.
Most of the replies have been from MBs - “mother bosses” - Employers of nannies. All of the mothers (MB) are saying they would not want their nanny to have her visiting mother with her while she was being paid to care for the child.
“Nice” is not the issue. I want a professional nanny who gives 100% to my baby - and is not distracted by her mother coming to work with her!! Why can’t you understand that? No other job allows you to bring your mother to work for three months!! You have weekends to spend with your mother while she is visiting and you can postpone classes for three months.
Do you understand now?
Op here , first you have to understand not me. SO SHIT UP. I am talking from my experiences.
How you know they are MBs?
I can answer my posts as MBs ( stupid think about that)
I think I had to learned from my experience then posting my issue here.
Wow. Is your first language an in-demand language? Your written English is close, so if you are fluent verbally, have an in-demand language as primary (not Spanish, maybe a Russian or Arabic? I’ve seen several positions requiring those recently, and hardly any takers), combined with a degree, I guess I can see it. Most nannies who make $30 or more per hour have 2-3 charges, are fluent in both written and verbal English, may have a second language, and they either have 10+ years or experience or a degree and 5+ years. I would suggest a class to polish your written English, that way communication with your future employers is seamless.
Also, I would highly recommend you read over the thread again. You posed a situation. All the nannies and MBs (mother bosses, employers) told you that it’s very unprofessional and they’d want no part of it. I don’t know what you thought MB meant, but they are talking about having a nanny devote time to their child, ergo parent of child, ergo employer.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 19:03
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op here I am sorry that you had bad experience. There is different in Mom and child. Your nanny used to take care of her kids during work hours but my mom is helpful for me. She is not my child that I have to take care of her.
I really don’t know why all nannies replies are negative. When the families had no issue why they have issue.
Or I am fortunate that I had been with very nice families.
Most of the replies have been from MBs - “mother bosses” - Employers of nannies. All of the mothers (MB) are saying they would not want their nanny to have her visiting mother with her while she was being paid to care for the child.
“Nice” is not the issue. I want a professional nanny who gives 100% to my baby - and is not distracted by her mother coming to work with her!! Why can’t you understand that? No other job allows you to bring your mother to work for three months!! You have weekends to spend with your mother while she is visiting and you can postpone classes for three months.
Do you understand now?
Op here , first you have to understand not me. SO SHIT UP. I am talking from my experiences.
How you know they are MBs?
I can answer my posts as MBs ( stupid think about that)
I think I had to learned from my experience then posting my issue here.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 18:41
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Op here I am sorry that you had bad experience. There is different in Mom and child. Your nanny used to take care of her kids during work hours but my mom is helpful for me. She is not my child that I have to take care of her.
I really don’t know why all nannies replies are negative. When the families had no issue why they have issue.
Or I am fortunate that I had been with very nice families.
Most of the replies have been from MBs - “mother bosses” - Employers of nannies. All of the mothers (MB) are saying they would not want their nanny to have her visiting mother with her while she was being paid to care for the child.
“Nice” is not the issue. I want a professional nanny who gives 100% to my baby - and is not distracted by her mother coming to work with her!! Why can’t you understand that? No other job allows you to bring your mother to work for three months!! You have weekends to spend with your mother while she is visiting and you can postpone classes for three months.
Do you understand now?
Anonymous
08/12/2018 18:12
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Op here I am sorry that you had bad experience. There is different in Mom and child. Your nanny used to take care of her kids during work hours but my mom is helpful for me. She is not my child that I have to take care of her.
I really don’t know why all nannies replies are negative. When the families had no issue why they have issue.
Or I am fortunate that I had been with very nice families.
I really don’t know why all nannies replies are negative. When the families had no issue why they have issue.
Or I am fortunate that I had been with very nice families.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 17:03
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think what nannies sometime fail to understand that every time they ask for a favor, employers are balancing our opposition to the request with the desire to have “happy nanny - happy kids”, the pain of finding last minute back up care, the inconvenience/impact to the family of replacing the nanny, and the general theory about “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know”...
My last nanny who was with us for four years gradually pushed that boundary, to the point that we parted ways.. It started pretty innocently, “can my 14 yo daughter that I have 50/50 custody for come to work with me on the teacher work days?”. Ok, that’s fine... “I have a water emergency at my house... can I take the kids and watch them there while I wait for plumber?”... not thrilled, but I can’t get back-up care for right now so go ahead... “I promised to my daughter that we will go to XYZ together today. I think your kids will like it. Can we all go together?”. Definitely not. But now if I say “no”, I either will have a frustrated nanny or will need to find a backup care in the next hour. Since XYZ is not dangerous, I just don’t think it is appropriate for a 5 year old, I say “yes”, but it is a strike against the nanny... And you know what happens after three strikes, right?
OP, if Mom is visiting from overseas for 1 week, and you are asking an existing family if she can join you for 2 out of 5 days she is here, most of MBs will say yes sure. Otherwise, you will have to take PTO and we have to think of the back up care... However, your mom is coming for 3 MONTHS! How about weekends? This is when all us normal people hang out with our families. My mom spends less than 3 months in our area, and 4-5 weekends together a year is more than enough. You will have 12 weekends in the three months together.
Op here I am sorry that you had bad experience. There is different in Mom and child. Your nanny used to take care of her kids during work hours but my mom is helpful for me. She is not my child that I have to take care of her.
I really don’t know why all nannies replies are negative. When the families had no issue why they have issue.
Or I am fortunate that I had been with very nice families.
Please do take your mom to the interviews. The new family needs to know what they are getting into before hiring you! There might be a family there desperate enough to see it as “two helpers for the price of one”.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 16:36
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And this is why I make $30/hr. Because when I show up to interviews there has been a parade of clowns like OP before me, and the parents are so happy to finally find an educated professional nanny. Keep it up, op!!
Op here I make $33 hourly not $30. The families hired me since I have my bachelor in education, seven years experience of childcare are and the way I care for my mom. Mostly families wants I raise their kids the way I am.
You "care for your mom?"
As in providing care, or just that your feelings for her are strong?
Is your mom actually incapable of being left alone while she visits?
Anonymous
08/12/2018 15:34
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think what nannies sometime fail to understand that every time they ask for a favor, employers are balancing our opposition to the request with the desire to have “happy nanny - happy kids”, the pain of finding last minute back up care, the inconvenience/impact to the family of replacing the nanny, and the general theory about “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know”...
My last nanny who was with us for four years gradually pushed that boundary, to the point that we parted ways.. It started pretty innocently, “can my 14 yo daughter that I have 50/50 custody for come to work with me on the teacher work days?”. Ok, that’s fine... “I have a water emergency at my house... can I take the kids and watch them there while I wait for plumber?”... not thrilled, but I can’t get back-up care for right now so go ahead... “I promised to my daughter that we will go to XYZ together today. I think your kids will like it. Can we all go together?”. Definitely not. But now if I say “no”, I either will have a frustrated nanny or will need to find a backup care in the next hour. Since XYZ is not dangerous, I just don’t think it is appropriate for a 5 year old, I say “yes”, but it is a strike against the nanny... And you know what happens after three strikes, right?
OP, if Mom is visiting from overseas for 1 week, and you are asking an existing family if she can join you for 2 out of 5 days she is here, most of MBs will say yes sure. Otherwise, you will have to take PTO and we have to think of the back up care... However, your mom is coming for 3 MONTHS! How about weekends? This is when all us normal people hang out with our families. My mom spends less than 3 months in our area, and 4-5 weekends together a year is more than enough. You will have 12 weekends in the three months together.
Please do take your mom to the interviews. The new family needs to know what they are getting into before hiring you! There might be a family there desperate enough to see it as “two helpers for the price of one”.
I agree with this MB. To some extent, the nanny's employer may be reluctant to say no to these special requests, but that doesn't mean they are happy about them. When they add up to a certain threshold of inappropriateness/inconvenience, employers will be motivated to look elsewhere, especially if they are paying top dollar. (From the $33/hour a nanny, nothing less than perfection would be expected, including 100% dedication to my child/children with no visiting mum and perfect English.)
Another MB who agrees 100%. The old adage, “it doesn’t hurt to ask” is completely untrue in the nanny/employer context.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 15:23
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:MB here. I think what nannies sometime fail to understand that every time they ask for a favor, employers are balancing our opposition to the request with the desire to have “happy nanny - happy kids”, the pain of finding last minute back up care, the inconvenience/impact to the family of replacing the nanny, and the general theory about “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know”...
My last nanny who was with us for four years gradually pushed that boundary, to the point that we parted ways.. It started pretty innocently, “can my 14 yo daughter that I have 50/50 custody for come to work with me on the teacher work days?”. Ok, that’s fine... “I have a water emergency at my house... can I take the kids and watch them there while I wait for plumber?”... not thrilled, but I can’t get back-up care for right now so go ahead... “I promised to my daughter that we will go to XYZ together today. I think your kids will like it. Can we all go together?”. Definitely not. But now if I say “no”, I either will have a frustrated nanny or will need to find a backup care in the next hour. Since XYZ is not dangerous, I just don’t think it is appropriate for a 5 year old, I say “yes”, but it is a strike against the nanny... And you know what happens after three strikes, right?
OP, if Mom is visiting from overseas for 1 week, and you are asking an existing family if she can join you for 2 out of 5 days she is here, most of MBs will say yes sure. Otherwise, you will have to take PTO and we have to think of the back up care... However, your mom is coming for 3 MONTHS! How about weekends? This is when all us normal people hang out with our families. My mom spends less than 3 months in our area, and 4-5 weekends together a year is more than enough. You will have 12 weekends in the three months together.
Please do take your mom to the interviews. The new family needs to know what they are getting into before hiring you! There might be a family there desperate enough to see it as “two helpers for the price of one”.
I agree with this MB. To some extent, the nanny's employer may be reluctant to say no to these special requests, but that doesn't mean they are happy about them. When they add up to a certain threshold of inappropriateness/inconvenience, employers will be motivated to look elsewhere, especially if they are paying top dollar. (From the $33/hour a nanny, nothing less than perfection would be expected, including 100% dedication to my child/children with no visiting mum and perfect English.)
Anonymous
08/12/2018 14:42
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
MB here. I think what nannies sometime fail to understand that every time they ask for a favor, employers are balancing our opposition to the request with the desire to have “happy nanny - happy kids”, the pain of finding last minute back up care, the inconvenience/impact to the family of replacing the nanny, and the general theory about “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know”...
My last nanny who was with us for four years gradually pushed that boundary, to the point that we parted ways.. It started pretty innocently, “can my 14 yo daughter that I have 50/50 custody for come to work with me on the teacher work days?”. Ok, that’s fine... “I have a water emergency at my house... can I take the kids and watch them there while I wait for plumber?”... not thrilled, but I can’t get back-up care for right now so go ahead... “I promised to my daughter that we will go to XYZ together today. I think your kids will like it. Can we all go together?”. Definitely not. But now if I say “no”, I either will have a frustrated nanny or will need to find a backup care in the next hour. Since XYZ is not dangerous, I just don’t think it is appropriate for a 5 year old, I say “yes”, but it is a strike against the nanny... And you know what happens after three strikes, right?
OP, if Mom is visiting from overseas for 1 week, and you are asking an existing family if she can join you for 2 out of 5 days she is here, most of MBs will say yes sure. Otherwise, you will have to take PTO and we have to think of the back up care... However, your mom is coming for 3 MONTHS! How about weekends? This is when all us normal people hang out with our families. My mom spends less than 3 months in our area, and 4-5 weekends together a year is more than enough. You will have 12 weekends in the three months together.
Please do take your mom to the interviews. The new family needs to know what they are getting into before hiring you! There might be a family there desperate enough to see it as “two helpers for the price of one”.
My last nanny who was with us for four years gradually pushed that boundary, to the point that we parted ways.. It started pretty innocently, “can my 14 yo daughter that I have 50/50 custody for come to work with me on the teacher work days?”. Ok, that’s fine... “I have a water emergency at my house... can I take the kids and watch them there while I wait for plumber?”... not thrilled, but I can’t get back-up care for right now so go ahead... “I promised to my daughter that we will go to XYZ together today. I think your kids will like it. Can we all go together?”. Definitely not. But now if I say “no”, I either will have a frustrated nanny or will need to find a backup care in the next hour. Since XYZ is not dangerous, I just don’t think it is appropriate for a 5 year old, I say “yes”, but it is a strike against the nanny... And you know what happens after three strikes, right?
OP, if Mom is visiting from overseas for 1 week, and you are asking an existing family if she can join you for 2 out of 5 days she is here, most of MBs will say yes sure. Otherwise, you will have to take PTO and we have to think of the back up care... However, your mom is coming for 3 MONTHS! How about weekends? This is when all us normal people hang out with our families. My mom spends less than 3 months in our area, and 4-5 weekends together a year is more than enough. You will have 12 weekends in the three months together.
Please do take your mom to the interviews. The new family needs to know what they are getting into before hiring you! There might be a family there desperate enough to see it as “two helpers for the price of one”.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 12:16
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Op here I am going to have interview with very nice family. They know about situation. My current employer introduced me with them . They are OKAY with that.
I hope it works out for you, OP. I would never be okay with my employees mother coming to work with her but to each his own.
You are clearly not a native English speaker. Your grasp of the English language is ALMOST there. Please keep working on your written English. You are so close to fluent.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 12:11
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:And this is why I make $30/hr. Because when I show up to interviews there has been a parade of clowns like OP before me, and the parents are so happy to finally find an educated professional nanny. Keep it up, op!!
Op here I make $33 hourly not $30. The families hired me since I have my bachelor in education, seven years experience of childcare are and the way I care for my mom. Mostly families wants I raise their kids the way I am.
You have all that going for you and you need your Mommy to go to work with you?!! Too funny!
Anonymous
08/12/2018 12:02
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Op here I am going to have interview with very nice family. They know about situation. My current employer introduced me with them . They are OKAY with that.
Anonymous
08/12/2018 11:59
Subject: Personal issue ( my mom)
Anonymous wrote:And this is why I make $30/hr. Because when I show up to interviews there has been a parade of clowns like OP before me, and the parents are so happy to finally find an educated professional nanny. Keep it up, op!!
Op here I make $33 hourly not $30. The families hired me since I have my bachelor in education, seven years experience of childcare are and the way I care for my mom. Mostly families wants I raise their kids the way I am.