Anonymous
03/26/2019 01:15
Subject: Re:Secretive au pair
Anonymous wrote:Or she may be having a second job as a call girl.....
This was my first thought
Anonymous
03/20/2019 14:27
Subject: Secretive au pair
Bet it's a girlfriend and she doesn't feel comfortable coming out to you.
Anonymous
03/20/2019 13:15
Subject: Re:Secretive au pair
OP here, we will not get another AP. We are done. woo hoo!!!
Overall, we had a very successful run with 7.5 years of APs. Of those, 4 were excellent (especially one who is really forever a member of our family and who really came through for us in a time of great need); 1 was great but moody (and when in a mood, not great); 1 was the secretive AP (adequate from a job execution standpoint but not from an emotional/bonding standpoint); and 1 was a dud (we ended that match early, somehow we survived 5 months with her). All but the one stayed with us a full year or longer. When we started on the AP journey, our kids were 4 and 7; they're now 11 and almost 15.
This last year has mostly served as a confirmation that we've outgrown the program. The older child clearly did not need the AP (and in fact, the AP overall is a negative influence by making things "too easy" in terms of doing laundry, driving around, making lunches in a pinch, etc.). But we weren't quite ready a year ago to leave the younger child at home alone several afternoons a week. I think we're ready now. It will be a logistical challenge in terms of hiring multiple people to take on the responsibilities that the AP has been doing (dogwalking, afterschool driving, some laundry), but we reached the tipping point (many months ago, truth be told) where the negatives of having an AP outweigh the positives. It was the ideal situation for us for many years, though.
Overall, we had a very successful run with 7.5 years of APs. Of those, 4 were excellent (especially one who is really forever a member of our family and who really came through for us in a time of great need); 1 was great but moody (and when in a mood, not great); 1 was the secretive AP (adequate from a job execution standpoint but not from an emotional/bonding standpoint); and 1 was a dud (we ended that match early, somehow we survived 5 months with her). All but the one stayed with us a full year or longer. When we started on the AP journey, our kids were 4 and 7; they're now 11 and almost 15.
This last year has mostly served as a confirmation that we've outgrown the program. The older child clearly did not need the AP (and in fact, the AP overall is a negative influence by making things "too easy" in terms of doing laundry, driving around, making lunches in a pinch, etc.). But we weren't quite ready a year ago to leave the younger child at home alone several afternoons a week. I think we're ready now. It will be a logistical challenge in terms of hiring multiple people to take on the responsibilities that the AP has been doing (dogwalking, afterschool driving, some laundry), but we reached the tipping point (many months ago, truth be told) where the negatives of having an AP outweigh the positives. It was the ideal situation for us for many years, though.
Anonymous
03/19/2019 14:24
Subject: Secretive au pair
OP, will you get another AP?
Anonymous
03/19/2019 13:54
Subject: Secretive au pair
We had an AP who would eat dinner at the same time as us, but then would take her plate to the dining room and eat alone, rather than eat with us at the kitchen table. It was strange. WE'd tell her she was welcome. She was pretty secretive too. Not surprisingly, we never bonded and I"m glad that she's gone. At interview time I thought she was going to be this very sociable AP given that she made these videos for our kids and even dressed in costume for them for a skype call. Oh well.