Anonymous wrote:Maybe she's also unhappy to work with the nanny.
I would have hated that situation.

You need to talk to her, ask her if she's happy.
Sometimes just asking that simple question can make people open up. Ask her what you can do to help her be happy.

From what I've seen for myself, families in Italy are very close knit, her mom has probably done everything for her since she was born and that's why she doesn't clean up after herself.
You need to ask her to do so.
Maybe make her a weekly schedule and remind the basic tasks on it like cleaning up after oneself.

She's also not used to the snow ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It also sounds like she may be going through culture shock and is retreating to her bedroom so she can talk with her family and friends from home. Def get your LCC involved asap. That's your LCC"s job and she would want to know sooner rather than later

Thanks so much for this advice. Our family is also going through a bit of a shock because it's been such a change to have someone we don't know in our home!
Any idea how long it might take her to improve her English? She's smart, and she's trying, but I think that's a big part of the challenge.

She can't drive, but then she also can't really communicate with my kids who are 8 and 10. My daughter likes to hang with her a bit but then gets frustrated because they don't understand each other.

This sounds miserable for everyone involved. Doesn’t she ever leave the house with the kids? Speaking as someone who has had a non-driving au pair for the last two years (but we live inside DC proper), you’ve go to come up with a plan for her to easily go places, and in the suburbs that means driving or maybe you could give her credits for an Uber. Also, all our European au pairs have been good drivers, and drove when they just had the IL. Our South America au pairs, not so much (but as I said not relevant in our case).

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound like you really need an AP right now (you are around to drive her to class, nanny is still involved, etc) so maybe she is dragging her feet.
Stop enabling her and make her get it together. Bring in your LCC. There is no way I would be carting my AP back and forth to school.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound like you really need an AP right now (you are around to drive her to class, nanny is still involved, etc) so maybe she is dragging her feet.
Stop enabling her and make her get it together. Bring in your LCC. There is no way I would be carting my AP back and forth to school.

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing about the driving situation?!

Anonymous wrote:

she's also kind of lazy and entitled

what is she doing that is entitled? Entitled to what?

You don't sound happy with her all around...not just because she isn't leaving the house. I do not understand why she isn't driving on her IL? That really needs to get sorted out. But really, sounds like she is not a good personality fit for your family.

Also, do you really want/need an AP if you are working from home and clearly don't need an AP who drives if she has been with you for a couple of months and isn't driving. Most APs are going to spend time in your house in the middle of the day. Yes, they may go to the gym or for coffee, but they are going to be in the house.

How is she getting to class in the morning?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It also sounds like she may be going through culture shock and is retreating to her bedroom so she can talk with her family and friends from home. Def get your LCC involved asap. That's your LCC"s job and she would want to know sooner rather than later

Thanks so much for this advice. Our family is also going through a bit of a shock because it's been such a change to have someone we don't know in our home!
Any idea how long it might take her to improve her English? She's smart, and she's trying, but I think that's a big part of the challenge.

She can't drive, but then she also can't really communicate with my kids who are 8 and 10. My daughter likes to hang with her a bit but then gets frustrated because they don't understand each other.

Culture shock can happen both ways, and if you're feeling uncomfortable having her in your home, she is probably picking up on those feelings. Plus it looks like she has a lot of free time on her hands without many ideas on how to fill up those hours. She needs to practice English in order to improve it, so she should be talking to your kids, making friends with other au pairs who don't speak her language, going to her ESL class, signing up for free ESL conversation groups at the library, watching American shows on Netflix/Amazon (Glee, The Royals, Younger, The Arrangement, anything the WB produces) etc. If she's staying in her room talking with her family and friends in her native language then she isn't giving herself a chance to truly switch to English. Once she is saturated with the language, she will start thinking in English, dreaming in English etc. I'm a LCC in another state and I can't overemphasize the importance of getting your LCC involved. This is her job and you are not the first host family who has reached out to her about this issue. As an LCC, I can tell you I prefer to know about these issues ASAP when there is still time to fix them.

Anonymous wrote:So let me get this straight....you are frustrated because she doesn’t leave the house, but she can’t drive, you live in a suburb, the weather has been awful, and it’s too far to walk anywhere? Where exactly do you want her to go and how do you want her to get there?

So let me get this straight....you are frustrated because she doesn’t leave the house, but she can’t drive, you live in a suburb, the weather has been awful, and it’s too far to walk anywhere? Where exactly do you want her to go and how do you want her to get there? [/quote

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