Anonymous wrote:I don't think she will favor her child over the charge. I mean yes, she is the mom but she is also a caregiver and I am sure she will love your child well and take care well. You can always back out if it doesn't work for yu

This. I'm sure there is a difference how she treats them, but it may not be as big of the deal as some make it out to be. It's probably a good deal for her too. She gets to be home with her child, the child has somebody to play and you take the child to her.
Do the home visit and down the road if it doesn't work out you can always change caregivers. Make sure the her house is safe. I dropped small but a heavy picture frame on my child from a mantel. He wanted something he saw up there and I pushed the frame accidentally.

Anonymous wrote:This is the above PP again...questions to ask, will she take your kid to run errands? How often? Will she prove carseat or should you get one (in our case we bought an extra booster to leave in their car) will she feed your kid what her kid eats? This is easiest but do they have similar food rules to you. My kid eats crap when she is at the sitters but I let it go because it's only 2 meals a week. Are you going to sign them up for the same classes? Like if she wants to take her kid to music class she has to take both kids so u would need to pay for your kid too. How much outside time does she think is important?

Op here: We went over all of this. I'm a single mom so she may not have any siblings. I also love that my daughter will be with a mixed child. My daughter is biracial and her son is half Indian. We did a half day yesterday and she was sooooo upset about leaving. I have a really good feeling about this. My daughter is also super easy to take care and the child care provider said it made things so much easier for her.

This is the above PP again...questions to ask, will she take your kid to run errands? How often? Will she prove carseat or should you get one (in our case we bought an extra booster to leave in their car) will she feed your kid what her kid eats? This is easiest but do they have similar food rules to you. My kid eats crap when she is at the sitters but I let it go because it's only 2 meals a week. Are you going to sign them up for the same classes? Like if she wants to take her kid to music class she has to take both kids so u would need to pay for your kid too. How much outside time does she think is important?

Ok I do the same thing you're going to do but less hours. A sahm has one kid who was friends with my kid and they were in pre-k together, now in K at same school but different classes. She also has a 12 yo. She watches DD 2 days a week after school until 630. DD eats dinner with them and sometimes goes to sports practices for the older one. I have seen no issues in 2 years of her favoring her kids over mine. My kid had to run errands with them sometimes and go to practices but I'm ok with that. DD is an only so it's good for her to experience life as it would be with siblings. We pay her $120 cash every 2 weeks which is $30 for 2.5 hours. I feel like that is a good share rare. We also pay her even if we don't use her if it was a a day she would normally have her.

Anonymous wrote:The woman who takes care of my little boy 30 hours a week always has her son with her. They're best friends now! I don't pay her any less because of it. I'm not looking for my son to get 100% of her attention all the time - I just want him to be safe and happy and have fun. So for me, her little boy being there is a plus, not a minus. My son cries when I pick him up every day and he asks for his friend ALL THE TIME. I think it's perfect for toddlers. I don't see it working with infants.

I agree 100% and have had a similar experience.

Anonymous wrote:Basically the same questions you would ask any childcare provider: About CPR certification and house safety/childproofing (firearms) Ask what your DD's average day would look like.


Are you sure you want to do this, OP? The mother will always favor her own child. Your child will spend her day being second best.

Liar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, former nanny and former special needs teacher here.


I agree with others that yes she will favor her kid more. Someone asked me if I would babysit their child and I refused. I was upfront and told her it wouldn't be fair because one would get more attention vs. the other one. I would look elsewhere for a nanny/in home daycare.

Op here: Are you always this dramatic? It's a good thing you refused. Plenty of people hire sahm to be child care providers. I would rather have my child in a home setting vs daycare. I know you are trying to help but you're way too dramatic.

This woman may want to for the money but most SAHM's don't want to care for another kid full-time.

You mean like the many, many SAHMs with more than one kid? Who will tell you that the days are easier with a play mate?

Its not easier with a playmate. Its only easier for uninvolved parents or caretakers who just want to check out and let the kids do their thing while they sit back and do nothing.

You're full of crap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, former nanny and former special needs teacher here.


I agree with others that yes she will favor her kid more. Someone asked me if I would babysit their child and I refused. I was upfront and told her it wouldn't be fair because one would get more attention vs. the other one. I would look elsewhere for a nanny/in home daycare.

Op here: Are you always this dramatic? It's a good thing you refused. Plenty of people hire sahm to be child care providers. I would rather have my child in a home setting vs daycare. I know you are trying to help but you're way too dramatic.

This woman may want to for the money but most SAHM's don't want to care for another kid full-time.

You mean like the many, many SAHMs with more than one kid? Who will tell you that the days are easier with a play mate?

Its not easier with a playmate. Its only easier for uninvolved parents or caretakers who just want to check out and let the kids do their thing while they sit back and do nothing.

If there are any firearms in the home and if so how they are secured.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, former nanny and former special needs teacher here.


I agree with others that yes she will favor her kid more. Someone asked me if I would babysit their child and I refused. I was upfront and told her it wouldn't be fair because one would get more attention vs. the other one. I would look elsewhere for a nanny/in home daycare.

Op here: Are you always this dramatic? It's a good thing you refused. Plenty of people hire sahm to be child care providers. I would rather have my child in a home setting vs daycare. I know you are trying to help but you're way too dramatic.

This woman may want to for the money but most SAHM's don't want to care for another kid full-time.

You mean like the many, many SAHMs with more than one kid? Who will tell you that the days are easier with a play mate?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, former nanny and former special needs teacher here.


I agree with others that yes she will favor her kid more. Someone asked me if I would babysit their child and I refused. I was upfront and told her it wouldn't be fair because one would get more attention vs. the other one. I would look elsewhere for a nanny/in home daycare.

Op here: Are you always this dramatic? It's a good thing you refused. Plenty of people hire sahm to be child care providers. I would rather have my child in a home setting vs daycare. I know you are trying to help but you're way too dramatic.

This woman may want to for the money but most SAHM's don't want to care for another kid full-time.

The woman who takes care of my little boy 30 hours a week always has her son with her. They're best friends now! I don't pay her any less because of it. I'm not looking for my son to get 100% of her attention all the time - I just want him to be safe and happy and have fun. So for me, her little boy being there is a plus, not a minus. My son cries when I pick him up every day and he asks for his friend ALL THE TIME. I think it's perfect for toddlers. I don't see it working with infants.

wouldn't mind the idea at all.

I don't agree that her lo would always be her priority. I often look after my little nephew who is ages with my son and if anything I am more protective over him than with my own child because he isn't mine.

I probably would be looking to pay a bit less because it isn't 1:1 care.

So long as she was up-front about it and it wasn't the case that you had agreed to employ her and then she announced she was bringing her own child.

If I liked her and wanted her to care for my child I would probably offer to share the cost of the extra bits and bobs.

As for illness, you will have that problem regardless, if your nanny has a family of her own. She may well need to take time off to care for her own sick child if her child couldn't go to school for example. Although I suppose she might not want to bring her child if yours is sick, you would just have to make sure you cover all that in the contract.

If she is the right person for your child and your family I wouldn't let the question of her bringing her own baby put you off. It will be nice for your lo to have a playmate.

I think it would be wise to look into what a nanny share would cost. If you pay a nanny 17/hour for one child, its reasonable to assume a nanny would make 22-25/hour in a nanny share. Knowing what a nanny share nanny would make I'd offer a little more then 50% of the share care, as the host house tends to pay more as they get help with baby laundry, ect. I think $11-13/hour would be a really good offer.

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, former nanny and former special needs teacher here.


I agree with others that yes she will favor her kid more. Someone asked me if I would babysit their child and I refused. I was upfront and told her it wouldn't be fair because one would get more attention vs. the other one. I would look elsewhere for a nanny/in home daycare.

Op here: Are you always this dramatic? It's a good thing you refused. Plenty of people hire sahm to be child care providers. I would rather have my child in a home setting vs daycare. I know you are trying to help but you're way too dramatic.