Anonymous
Post 09/17/2015 07:51     Subject: Re:Another question for only MBs
If you think your child would want his/her nanny at his/her birthday party then invite her.

If you think your child would not want his/her nanny at his/her birthday party then find another nanny.

Simple. Everything is not always about YOU, MB.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2015 06:24     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just a message to the nannies-- if you are not invited, just remember not to take it personally or take any message from it.

There could be a lot of reasons why a nanny is not invited
1. the intended audience is kids
2. MB doesn't want nanny to feel like she has to come work on the weekends.
3. There is issue with other family members and nanny. Such as MIL criticizing the nanny and who may say something inappropriate.

For me a party with family members and nanny mixing is more stressful than the drama often talked about at Thanksgiving dinner.

We love our nanny fine and appreciate her help. I will try to think of every excuse not to have her be present.


4. The MB doesn't want to be upstaged by the attention and love shown to the nanny by the child.

This - and you know it.


Hahaha. Either pay her to help throw the party and be involved, or have her as a guest to play. Pick one. No confusion then. Unless you have a nanny who is helpful in nature anyways (ie. Sees something that needs to be done and does it).

God knows dcum nannies wouldn't lift a finger at the child's bday party unless they were getting paid to come.



You are so wrong about me, PP, and I am a "DCUM nanny". The only reason I stay in my job is my devotion to my charge. I have absolutely helped out at parties without getting paid - and more importantly without thinking about getting paid. I would be very insulted and very, very hurt if I wasn't invited to my charge's party.
Anonymous
Post 09/17/2015 05:22     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just a message to the nannies-- if you are not invited, just remember not to take it personally or take any message from it.

There could be a lot of reasons why a nanny is not invited
1. the intended audience is kids
2. MB doesn't want nanny to feel like she has to come work on the weekends.
3. There is issue with other family members and nanny. Such as MIL criticizing the nanny and who may say something inappropriate.

For me a party with family members and nanny mixing is more stressful than the drama often talked about at Thanksgiving dinner.

We love our nanny fine and appreciate her help. I will try to think of every excuse not to have her be present.


4. The MB doesn't want to be upstaged by the attention and love shown to the nanny by the child.

This - and you know it.


Hahaha. Either pay her to help throw the party and be involved, or have her as a guest to play. Pick one. No confusion then. Unless you have a nanny who is helpful in nature anyways (ie. Sees something that needs to be done and does it).

God knows dcum nannies wouldn't lift a finger at the child's bday party unless they were getting paid to come.

Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 23:13     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:I got burned by DS' first nanny. He was Very excited to give his nanny to his 3rd bday party. As with any party for a 3 yeAr old, there was less hanging out amongst adults and more keeping an eye on the kiddos. Even though DH and I didn't ask her to do anything except have a good time, she later asked how we were going to compensate her for the 3 hrs she was at the party. She felt like the fact that she had to Interact with DS made her on the clock so she should be compensated.


That is the exception, I think. And also crappy, sorry PP.

A good way to greet a nanny invited to a child's party is, "We are so glad you could make it! Please relax, feel free to leave whenever you need to...and can I get you a glass of wine?" Pretty clear it's not a work function after that.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 21:42     Subject: Another question for only MBs
I got burned by DS' first nanny. He was Very excited to give his nanny to his 3rd bday party. As with any party for a 3 yeAr old, there was less hanging out amongst adults and more keeping an eye on the kiddos. Even though DH and I didn't ask her to do anything except have a good time, she later asked how we were going to compensate her for the 3 hrs she was at the party. She felt like the fact that she had to Interact with DS made her on the clock so she should be compensated.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 21:41     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just a message to the nannies-- if you are not invited, just remember not to take it personally or take any message from it.

There could be a lot of reasons why a nanny is not invited
1. the intended audience is kids
2. MB doesn't want nanny to feel like she has to come work on the weekends.
3. There is issue with other family members and nanny. Such as MIL criticizing the nanny and who may say something inappropriate.

For me a party with family members and nanny mixing is more stressful than the drama often talked about at Thanksgiving dinner.

We love our nanny fine and appreciate her help. I will try to think of every excuse not to have her be present.


4. The MB doesn't want to be upstaged by the attention and love shown to the nanny by the child.

This - and you know it.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 21:34     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:Just a message to the nannies-- if you are not invited, just remember not to take it personally or take any message from it.

There could be a lot of reasons why a nanny is not invited
1. the intended audience is kids
2. MB doesn't want nanny to feel like she has to come work on the weekends.
3. There is issue with other family members and nanny. Such as MIL criticizing the nanny and who may say something inappropriate.

For me a party with family members and nanny mixing is more stressful than the drama often talked about at Thanksgiving dinner.

We love our nanny fine and appreciate her help. I will try to think of every excuse not to have her be present.


4. The MB doesn't want to be upstaged by the attention and love shown to the nanny by the child.

This - and you know it.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 21:33     Subject: Re:Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem with not inviting our child's nanny is that, unlike other people, she will find out about the party since she works in your home. Also with social media, she will most likely see pictures of the party posted by you or one of your guests. Why create problems that you don;t need with the woman who cares for your child day in and day out and most likely loves her?

This is not your birthday party, OP - this is your child's birthday party. Yes, I feel it would be very wrong not to invite your child's nanny.



And, honestly, I have never known or heard of a parent who hasn't invited their child's nanny to the traditional birthday party.



In my 10 years as a parent, I've never been to a party where there has been a nanny and minor many families with nannies.



In my ten years plus as a parent, I have never been to a party where the nanny wasn't there. Honestly. I am not taking about babysitters - I am talking about the child's full time nanny.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 21:32     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:Just a message to the nannies-- if you are not invited, just remember not to take it personally or take any message from it.

There could be a lot of reasons why a nanny is not invited
1. the intended audience is kids
2. MB doesn't want nanny to feel like she has to come work on the weekends.
3. There is issue with other family members and nanny. Such as MIL criticizing the nanny and who may say something inappropriate.

For me a party with family members and nanny mixing is more stressful than the drama often talked about at Thanksgiving dinner.

We love our nanny fine and appreciate her help. I will try to think of every excuse not to have her be present.


I cannot see how I could not take it personally. I am involved in the day to day with your child but not good enough for the celebration of another year of his life?

I would be devastated if not invited. I would most likely start looking for another job.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 19:09     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Just a message to the nannies-- if you are not invited, just remember not to take it personally or take any message from it.

There could be a lot of reasons why a nanny is not invited
1. the intended audience is kids
2. MB doesn't want nanny to feel like she has to come work on the weekends.
3. There is issue with other family members and nanny. Such as MIL criticizing the nanny and who may say something inappropriate.

For me a party with family members and nanny mixing is more stressful than the drama often talked about at Thanksgiving dinner.

We love our nanny fine and appreciate her help. I will try to think of every excuse not to have her be present.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 18:00     Subject: Another question for only MBs
In 10 years as a nanny, I was invited to every single birthday party. I attended a majority of them too. You should be happy to have a nanny who wants to celebrate your child's milestones.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 14:15     Subject: Another question for only MBs
Doesn't mean they weren't invited, PP.

I've been at every birthday but one for my charges. I'm close with the grandparents, know their family friends, and hang out with the neighbors at block parties. Why wouldn't I be invited?
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 09:36     Subject: Re:Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem with not inviting our child's nanny is that, unlike other people, she will find out about the party since she works in your home. Also with social media, she will most likely see pictures of the party posted by you or one of your guests. Why create problems that you don;t need with the woman who cares for your child day in and day out and most likely loves her?

This is not your birthday party, OP - this is your child's birthday party. Yes, I feel it would be very wrong not to invite your child's nanny.



And, honestly, I have never known or heard of a parent who hasn't invited their child's nanny to the traditional birthday party.



In my 10 years as a parent, I've never been to a party where there has been a nanny and minor many families with nannies.


Not minor, know.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 09:33     Subject: Re:Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem with not inviting our child's nanny is that, unlike other people, she will find out about the party since she works in your home. Also with social media, she will most likely see pictures of the party posted by you or one of your guests. Why create problems that you don;t need with the woman who cares for your child day in and day out and most likely loves her?

This is not your birthday party, OP - this is your child's birthday party. Yes, I feel it would be very wrong not to invite your child's nanny.



And, honestly, I have never known or heard of a parent who hasn't invited their child's nanny to the traditional birthday party.



In my 10 years as a parent, I've never been to a party where there has been a nanny and minor many families with nannies.
Anonymous
Post 09/16/2015 06:50     Subject: Re:Another question for only MBs
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem with not inviting our child's nanny is that, unlike other people, she will find out about the party since she works in your home. Also with social media, she will most likely see pictures of the party posted by you or one of your guests. Why create problems that you don;t need with the woman who cares for your child day in and day out and most likely loves her?

This is not your birthday party, OP - this is your child's birthday party. Yes, I feel it would be very wrong not to invite your child's nanny.


I have a firm rule that i am NOT facebook friends with anyone I work with. It does not seem professional to me to do otherwise. To me, FB is for relatives, friends, and people I like who I otherwise wouldn't be in touch with. I am not FB friends with my nanny, and my FB profile is quite tight on security measures.


I am a nanny (who thankfully is never excluded from my charge's birthday parties) and I can easily access my charge's grandparents, aunts, etc to see their posted birthday party pictures of him.


Maybe find another hobby besides stalking your employer's family on Facebook?



So checking someone's new photographs on social media is now stalking? Isn't that what social media is for?