Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I would immediately see this as an indicator that you are planning to leave - especially given the "hit a few speed bumps lately". I can't imagine a way you could frame it that would make me believe anything different.

And if you do have a second job you love why do you need the letter now?

Also, just for the record, as an MB I don't take letters of reference particularly seriously. I want to speak to your references. So anything you hand me in a letter is fine, but I pretty much dismiss it if it isn't backed up by direct interaction (phone or email) w/ the person who wrote it. So I'm really not sure it's worth you pressing for unless you are planning to start interviewing.

While I generally agree, if I read a glowing letter of recommendation from an employer and then received a less that glowing recommendation when I called the same employer after the nanny told them that she would be leaving - I would tend to feel it was sour grapes on the part of the employer.

A glowing recommendation letter prior to telling the employers that you are leaving is always a good idea.

This exactly. Many stressed out parents will go through the roof when you tell them you’re leaving. It’s the last thing they need to deal with. Finding another nanny is another nightmare.

Anonymous wrote:Every year, on the anniversary of her hire, we schedule a formal review with our nanny. At that time. we renegotiate her contract, give an earned raise, and write a reference letter for her to use should she want to seek other employment during the next year. This is the only written reference letter we provide.

If she wants to seek a new job within the year, I'm more than happy to talk to her potential new family, but I will not write a new letter. Once a year is a more than adequate for a written letter.

This has worked very well for both our nannies and ourselves and is the most honest assessment of her performance with our family.

This seems very responsible.

Every year, on the anniversary of her hire, we schedule a formal review with our nanny. At that time. we renegotiate her contract, give an earned raise, and write a reference letter for her to use should she want to seek other employment during the next year. This is the only written reference letter we provide.

If she wants to seek a new job within the year, I'm more than happy to talk to her potential new family, but I will not write a new letter. Once a year is a more than adequate for a written letter.

This has worked very well for both our nannies and ourselves and is the most honest assessment of her performance with our family.

[quote=Anonymous]OP, your reference letter clearly won't be that great right now if you have hit speed bumps. And it will be totally transparent to the family that you want it in case you want to leave soon. Even if they write a good one, when they talk to prospective employers, they will communicate the truth.

I had to hire my current nanny in a time crunch. She had a glowing reference letter. When I talked to the mother, the reference was less glowing, but OK. That is how his nanny turned out - just OK. Why did the previous employer write a good letter? Because the nanny is a nice person who tries hard -- even though she lacks common sense -- and the mother still wanted to be nice to her face.

Good lesson learned for me, and also to allow more time to find a good nanny.[/quote]
But your gut told you to pick her? Why?

OP, your reference letter clearly won't be that great right now if you have hit speed bumps. And it will be totally transparent to the family that you want it in case you want to leave soon. Even if they write a good one, when they talk to prospective employers, they will communicate the truth.

I had to hire my current nanny in a time crunch. She had a glowing reference letter. When I talked to the mother, the reference was less glowing, but OK. That is how his nanny turned out - just OK. Why did the previous employer write a good letter? Because the nanny is a nice person who tries hard -- even though she lacks common sense -- and the mother still wanted to be nice to her face.

Good lesson learned for me, and also to allow more time to find a good nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I would immediately see this as an indicator that you are planning to leave - especially given the "hit a few speed bumps lately". I can't imagine a way you could frame it that would make me believe anything different.

And if you do have a second job you love why do you need the letter now?

Also, just for the record, as an MB I don't take letters of reference particularly seriously. I want to speak to your references. So anything you hand me in a letter is fine, but I pretty much dismiss it if it isn't backed up by direct interaction (phone or email) w/ the person who wrote it. So I'm really not sure it's worth you pressing for unless you are planning to start interviewing.

Np, and I agree entirely. I'm unlikely to even read a reference letter actually. I just want to converse with references. Anything that was prepared for a nanny's eyes would not be objective.

You sound like a high-maintenance pill. I doubt you can afford to pay a good nanny to put up with that for long. And don't bother claiming you've had the same nanny taking care for you for ten years.

Why all the hostility? This is common practice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I would immediately see this as an indicator that you are planning to leave - especially given the "hit a few speed bumps lately". I can't imagine a way you could frame it that would make me believe anything different.

And if you do have a second job you love why do you need the letter now?

Also, just for the record, as an MB I don't take letters of reference particularly seriously. I want to speak to your references. So anything you hand me in a letter is fine, but I pretty much dismiss it if it isn't backed up by direct interaction (phone or email) w/ the person who wrote it. So I'm really not sure it's worth you pressing for unless you are planning to start interviewing.

Np, and I agree entirely. I'm unlikely to even read a reference letter actually. I just want to converse with references. Anything that was prepared for a nanny's eyes would not be objective.

You sound like a high-maintenance pill. I doubt you can afford to pay a good nanny to put up with that for long. And don't bother claiming you've had the same nanny taking care for you for ten years.

*of you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I would immediately see this as an indicator that you are planning to leave - especially given the "hit a few speed bumps lately". I can't imagine a way you could frame it that would make me believe anything different.

And if you do have a second job you love why do you need the letter now?

Also, just for the record, as an MB I don't take letters of reference particularly seriously. I want to speak to your references. So anything you hand me in a letter is fine, but I pretty much dismiss it if it isn't backed up by direct interaction (phone or email) w/ the person who wrote it. So I'm really not sure it's worth you pressing for unless you are planning to start interviewing.

Np, and I agree entirely. I'm unlikely to even read a reference letter actually. I just want to converse with references. Anything that was prepared for a nanny's eyes would not be objective.

You sound like a high-maintenance pill. I doubt you can afford to pay a good nanny to put up with that for long. And don't bother claiming you've had the same nanny taking care for you for ten years.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an MB. I would immediately see this as an indicator that you are planning to leave - especially given the "hit a few speed bumps lately". I can't imagine a way you could frame it that would make me believe anything different.

And if you do have a second job you love why do you need the letter now?

Also, just for the record, as an MB I don't take letters of reference particularly seriously. I want to speak to your references. So anything you hand me in a letter is fine, but I pretty much dismiss it if it isn't backed up by direct interaction (phone or email) w/ the person who wrote it. So I'm really not sure it's worth you pressing for unless you are planning to start interviewing.

Np, and I agree entirely. I'm unlikely to even read a reference letter actually. I just want to converse with references. Anything that was prepared for a nanny's eyes would not be objective.

Op I had to get a reference to volunteer at a kids camp. My NF was more then happy to give a reference.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm a nanny. I've had good luck with asking for a reference letter for other things like volunteering, mentoring, etc. Good luck!

Agree.

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I would not get one until the position is ending or has come to an end. Your employers will likely see it as a sign that you are leaving. Why would you update things with no intentions of leaving? I would never do that. Ask and you will likely be looking for a new job.

No, you clearly are not a nanny. Troll.