Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this happened in an office, there would have been consequences from HR.

No. Its not like she went nuts and threw a chair at the nanny or something. She spoke in a "very cold tone" and was insulting. There are people who act like this in offices all the time!

And this insult would be grounds for dismissal in my office. We do not allow anyone to be insulted, particularly, insulting/demeaning behavior to hourly employees. There is no excuse for her behavior.

Anonymous wrote:If this happened in an office, there would have been consequences from HR.

No. Its not like she went nuts and threw a chair at the nanny or something. She spoke in a "very cold tone" and was insulting. There are people who act like this in offices all the time!

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has about 3 or so weeks of her maternity leave left. I must say that she really made a point to try to smooth things over with me. We discussed it and she said that she can see my point and that she thinks I am right.
She also told me that she is in the process of weaning her baby and that it is causing her to go a little nuts. I've never had children, so I don't know what that is like. She admitted that she's feeling very emotional about leaving the baby because she feels like she will miss everything. She cried a good bit and hugged me.
I have always had a great relationship with her and I want it to work out, I'm just completely cngused by all of this.
I really meant no harm.

My nanny and I have stepped on each other's toes before (I come home and start dinner and we sometimes feed the kids together but had to work out who was leading things). She sounds sorry and she recognizes you are doing well so I'd let it go.

Also, weaning made me literally crazy for a few weeks. More so than anything I've ever experienced.

If this happened in an office, there would have been consequences from HR.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a nanny flipped her lid like this, would the responses be as compassionate?

I agree 100%. The response would be to fire her immediately. These are the posters who believe the nanny should work even with a stomach virus.

While I understand post-pregnancy hormones and the quilt of leaving a new baby, were the situation reversed we all know what the response would be. We have to be held accountable for our actions. If any MB threw this kind of fit on a co-worker or subordinate at work it would not be tolerated. Nor should it be tolerated in the home (which is a nanny's place of work).

OP should quit and find a better employer. Enough is enough.

signed, an MB

Don't think this is true- is nanny had an outburst and later apologized and I knew she was going through some challenges of course I would understand and forgive. Would be upset but get over it. Same as in my workplace outside the home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a nanny flipped her lid like this, would the responses be as compassionate?

I agree 100%. The response would be to fire her immediately. These are the posters who believe the nanny should work even with a stomach virus.

While I understand post-pregnancy hormones and the quilt of leaving a new baby, were the situation reversed we all know what the response would be. We have to be held accountable for our actions. If any MB threw this kind of fit on a co-worker or subordinate at work it would not be tolerated. Nor should it be tolerated in the home (which is a nanny's place of work).

OP should quit and find a better employer. Enough is enough.

signed, an MB

Anonymous wrote:If a nanny flipped her lid like this, would the responses be as compassionate?

I agree 100%. The response would be to fire her immediately. These are the posters who believe the nanny should work even with a stomach virus.

Anonymous wrote:She is nuts. Find another job. Some things can never be the same after outrageous behavior and what she did is one of them. Bull to blaming hirmones.

This.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a jerk. Women need to stop blaming hormones, PMS for being a bitch. Zero tolerance for such behavior.

Go build a career, get married, have a child, have another child, try to juggle work, life, marriage, parenting, etc... Then try to breastfeed/wean an infant, while doing your level best to be as good a parent to your toddler as you were a year ago, and still keep some sort of relationship with your husband, be a good boss, be a good employee/friend/sister/daughter/aunt/etc....

Then see if all of that helps you develop some compassion for others.

Nobody held a gun to her head.

She apologized, and yes...her emotions are still going nuts.

I'd see if things improve after she goes back to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's a jerk. Women need to stop blaming hormones, PMS for being a bitch. Zero tolerance for such behavior.

Go build a career, get married, have a child, have another child, try to juggle work, life, marriage, parenting, etc... Then try to breastfeed/wean an infant, while doing your level best to be as good a parent to your toddler as you were a year ago, and still keep some sort of relationship with your husband, be a good boss, be a good employee/friend/sister/daughter/aunt/etc....

Then see if all of that helps you develop some compassion for others.

don't forget to put 75% of your gross salary to pay a nanny who wants you to disappear during your 12 week maternity leave that you earned. and posts krap about you on silly anonymous forums.

Some of the responses in this thread are nuts. She's a new mom who is probably sleep deprived, hormonal and is trying to wean a baby right before she returns to work. She probably instinctively wants to hover over her child every second and is trying desperately not to, so she snapped when you brought it up. She probably feel desperately guilty about going back to work... since almost all new moms do. She apologized, admitted she was wrong and is going back to work super-soon. The idea that she is a terrible person and/or that you might quit over this is baffling to me. (I also think you are lacking the empathy chip if you would quit on her right before she goes back when she told you she already feels terrible about it.)

Anonymous wrote:She's a jerk. Women need to stop blaming hormones, PMS for being a bitch. Zero tolerance for such behavior.

Go build a career, get married, have a child, have another child, try to juggle work, life, marriage, parenting, etc... Then try to breastfeed/wean an infant, while doing your level best to be as good a parent to your toddler as you were a year ago, and still keep some sort of relationship with your husband, be a good boss, be a good employee/friend/sister/daughter/aunt/etc....

Then see if all of that helps you develop some compassion for others.

She's a jerk. Women need to stop blaming hormones, PMS for being a bitch. Zero tolerance for such behavior.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She has about 3 or so weeks of her maternity leave left. I must say that she really made a point to try to smooth things over with me. We discussed it and she said that she can see my point and that she thinks I am right.
She also told me that she is in the process of weaning her baby and that it is causing her to go a little nuts. I've never had children, so I don't know what that is like. She admitted that she's feeling very emotional about leaving the baby because she feels like she will miss everything. She cried a good bit and hugged me.
I have always had a great relationship with her and I want it to work out, I'm just completely cngused by all of this.
I really meant no harm.

Post pregnancy hormones are HORRIBLE and turn you into someone you have never met before and never want to meet again! Plus if she is weaning she is also going to get her first bout of PMS -- and that first PMS is a doozy.

I would give her a pass this time, OP. Honestly, she is a mess and can't help herself.

Let it go. I am a nanny, too and I know how hard it is to do but just try to let it go.

Having gone through 2 pregnancies and really bad hormonal mood swings due to pumping/sleep dep for a year post-partum, I could see how her nerves could be frayed. I'd give her another chance. If she continues to act this way months down the road, I'd reconsider.