Anonymous wrote:FYI, on my shadow day most of the time I followed the mother around taking notes on the kids' schedule, where things were located, how various appliances work, meeting the neighbors (in case of emergencies), where the parks/classes were, etc. Plus having the toddlers get to know me via interactions with them and the mom.
The mom was not doing her office work or lounging around, it was very helpful training the majority of the time, and then I got a bit of playtime with the kids.
I received a flat amount for 4 hours, and one my first couple days the mom worked from home to aid with any transitions.

OP here. This is what my normal shadow days are like. This MB working the entire time was not something I expected. I passed on the job.

FYI, on my shadow day most of the time I followed the mother around taking notes on the kids' schedule, where things were located, how various appliances work, meeting the neighbors (in case of emergencies), where the parks/classes were, etc. Plus having the toddlers get to know me via interactions with them and the mom.
The mom was not doing her office work or lounging around, it was very helpful training the majority of the time, and then I got a bit of playtime with the kids.
I received a flat amount for 4 hours, and one my first couple days the mom worked from home to aid with any transitions.

Anonymous wrote:PP, I think many first time Nanny employers fail to think through the facts of what they offer to pay. I have told parents before (during phone interviews) that their offer of less than $10/hour for 50+ hours a week is inadequate to support anyone. I then ask if they could live on the 25K or less they want to pay.

My favorite response so far is from the woman seeking a 2 infant share, 50 hours, for a total of $1,000 a MONTH. "Oh. I guess we didn't really think nannies had a lot of the normal expenses."

Wow. I'm a single mother and I work as a nanny/household manager. My income is the sole support for me and a hungry teen. I work three additional part time jobs, as well as cook and clean my own home with no assistance. I have skyrocketing rent, a car payment, utilities, medical bills, insurance, credit cards, just like my nanny family. We thrift and go to the food bank, even on a pretty decent salary, because life is so expensive.

The issue is when either people don't know anything about the service industry, like the pp above (I'm not flaming you. I understand many people are sheltered from what a life like mine is like) , or they equate nanny with babysitting, not realizing how many of the same make it a career. This is my career choice after working as a chef, and I'm happy. It's not always easy, but when bosses are self aware, and treat us as if we have a life and struggles outside of work, it really helps. I appreciate the pp admitting that she had to learn about hourly workers. Many people don't know, and deride us for not having real jobs.

PP, I think many first time Nanny employers fail to think through the facts of what they offer to pay. I have told parents before (during phone interviews) that their offer of less than $10/hour for 50+ hours a week is inadequate to support anyone. I then ask if they could live on the 25K or less they want to pay.

My favorite response so far is from the woman seeking a 2 infant share, 50 hours, for a total of $1,000 a MONTH. "Oh. I guess we didn't really think nannies had a lot of the normal expenses."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get flamed as out of touch for this, but a lot of us who hire nannies are not so familiar with the hourly employee world outside of retail and other part time service jobs we might have had in high school or college. It is a significant blind spot, but I will admit that until we hired our second nanny, it really didn't sink in that the person we were hiring was literally supporting herself and her family with this job. It wasn't something to do while she was in school, or extra money, or a "starter" job. It was her job, like my job was my job, the difference being that she was paid by the hour.

I didn't do trial days, so this didn't come up, but it changed the way I thought about the total compensation package going forward.

I would be ashamed to admit such stupidity. You really thought nannies just work for fun and money doesn' t matter? Either you are too stupid to live or have had such a privileged life that you have no concept of the reality of life. Maybe it is both. Such stupidity should not be allowed to contribute to the gene pool. God help us.

No. I just didn't think of it as a real job. It seemed like something a young person would do, or a retired person, or someone who needed extra cash. Not an actual career-type job.

Anonymous wrote:I know I will get flamed as out of touch for this, but a lot of us who hire nannies are not so familiar with the hourly employee world outside of retail and other part time service jobs we might have had in high school or college. It is a significant blind spot, but I will admit that until we hired our second nanny, it really didn't sink in that the person we were hiring was literally supporting herself and her family with this job. It wasn't something to do while she was in school, or extra money, or a "starter" job. It was her job, like my job was my job, the difference being that she was paid by the hour.

I didn't do trial days, so this didn't come up, but it changed the way I thought about the total compensation package going forward.

I would be ashamed to admit such stupidity. You really thought nannies just work for fun and money doesn' t matter? Either you are too stupid to live or have had such a privileged life that you have no concept of the reality of life. Maybe it is both. Such stupidity should not be allowed to contribute to the gene pool. God help us.

I know I will get flamed as out of touch for this, but a lot of us who hire nannies are not so familiar with the hourly employee world outside of retail and other part time service jobs we might have had in high school or college. It is a significant blind spot, but I will admit that until we hired our second nanny, it really didn't sink in that the person we were hiring was literally supporting herself and her family with this job. It wasn't something to do while she was in school, or extra money, or a "starter" job. It was her job, like my job was my job, the difference being that she was paid by the hour.

I didn't do trial days, so this didn't come up, but it changed the way I thought about the total compensation package going forward.

Anonymous wrote:I completely agree that you should be paid, but please don't write off the parents so quickly. As another poster said, daylong extended interview periods are the norm in other industries. The parents may just have been relying on their experience. From their point of view, you don't get paid just for putting in the time. The payback for your time is chance to get the job. Instead, I'd consider if you provided any value to them. If they left you alone and got childcare out of the deal, its very clear. However, if it was a real "shadow" day, and the mom was there observing and interacting with you the entire time, you didn't actually do any work of value to them. I don't think its as clear cut in that case.

OP here. I have done two interviews with them prior to this " shadow" day. The shadow as the mom put it, was to see how well of a fit it is. MB stayed upstairs working the whole time expect maybe 30-45 minutes that we talked. I've never discussed being paid for a trial day because I thought that was well known. My mistake and will make sure I clear that up for the next family.

http://www.yourhappynest.com/the-how-and-why-of-nanny-trial-days/

https://www.care.com/a/how-to-arrange-a-trial-run-with-a-nanny-1405011321

The information about trial days is readily available. All of it says, pay regular rate, nanny is working. An interview is not the same as a shadow day or trial day. I've often gone to two interviews and then I had a few hours of trial work, which was paid. Work, is work.

I completely agree that you should be paid, but please don't write off the parents so quickly. As another poster said, daylong extended interview periods are the norm in other industries. The parents may just have been relying on their experience. From their point of view, you don't get paid just for putting in the time. The payback for your time is chance to get the job. Instead, I'd consider if you provided any value to them. If they left you alone and got childcare out of the deal, its very clear. However, if it was a real "shadow" day, and the mom was there observing and interacting with you the entire time, you didn't actually do any work of value to them. I don't think its as clear cut in that case.

Anonymous wrote:Just so you know, I'm a FTM/MB and I wouldn't have known it was customary to pay a nanny for a shadow day. I had to go through multiple day long interviews/scenarios to get my job and I didn't get paid for it. Why would it be obvious to me that a nanny would be paid for a shadow day, which I think of as akin to the interview process? I think the dad may have been caught off guard (after all, by your own admission, it's not something you'd discussed up front) and wanted to check out if you were telling the truth before paying you. I take it from this forum that you were, so I think there's a good chance he'll pay up.

An interview is not working. A nanny shadowing is working and she gets paid. You honestly think someone is so stupid they give you free childcare for a day? I can see every MB finaglling free care this way.

Just so you know, I'm a FTM/MB and I wouldn't have known it was customary to pay a nanny for a shadow day. I had to go through multiple day long interviews/scenarios to get my job and I didn't get paid for it. Why would it be obvious to me that a nanny would be paid for a shadow day, which I think of as akin to the interview process? I think the dad may have been caught off guard (after all, by your own admission, it's not something you'd discussed up front) and wanted to check out if you were telling the truth before paying you. I take it from this forum that you were, so I think there's a good chance he'll pay up.

They should have paid you. Hope it's their inexperience talking and you get a check.

As a parent a background check is a must. Even for an ivy league educated nanny.

Anonymous wrote:I'm an experienced nanny and I've never came across this. I had a trial day ( MB said it's a shadow day). We talked about starting date, contract contingent on me passing a background and good references. So I show up at 11 and stayed until 5. They were about to let me out when I told them it was customary to be paid for a trial day. The dad looks at me, sticks his hands in his pockets, and firmly says " I didn't realize we had to do that. I've never heard that. Why don't we include it in this weeks pay, or we will maybe send you a check if there are issues with the background check".

Maybe I'm overreacting but I think it's nonsense. I gave my time to be there and I should get paid for it. I liked them up until that point. They are FTPs so it would be fine if they said something along the lines of " Sorry. We didn't know. How about we include.." Instead of putting " maybe..". What's most odd is they have yet to ask my rate or discuss salary.

Tell me who is right here.

ALWAYS,, but ALWAYS, Get it in writi,g even if all you do is sent a confirming text or email and ask for a reply to confirm the trial day and hourly rate. I would not take a job with them because anyone expecting you to give them 6 hours free childcare will cheat you every way possible. Tell him you will take him to small claims court.

Anonymous wrote:to the nanny who thinks she knows it all saying she had to teach her nanny ftp everything shut up. you are soooo annoying.

Shut up and learn to write actual sentences.