Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THat is fine. Nanny contract should stipulate exactly what days are off. We don't get fed holidays off at all so need our nanny. If you are taking a day off to get some personal business done, so what. That is irrelevant to the nanny, whom you are paying for.


BTW, people seem to be complaining about MB or DB being in the house. Wonder how they handled when MB was home on maternity leave?

I don't work with infants under 6 months, so I'm never there for maternity leave. I don't have an issue with SAHPs, as long as they understand that it's not good to constantly disrupt the kids' schedules.

Your charge might have a younger sibling so MB will be home on maternity leave.

No, I don't work when there are any children under 6 months. Period. All of my families understand that, and I've never had a problem with that. Additionally, I like big families, so I look for parents who have all the kids they can handle (or more) and won't be having more.

Does it mean you hand in your notice if MB gets pregnant?

I make it absolutely clear during interviews that I will help find a new nanny if MB finds herself pregnant, and that I am quite willing to stay until the baby comes home from the hospital. But yes, all my employers know that I don't work with tiny infants. I did once, and got stuck with 24/7 care of a colicky boy with reflux along with the three older children for the 40-60 hours a week, for the same salary that I had been previously paid. Not happening again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:THat is fine. Nanny contract should stipulate exactly what days are off. We don't get fed holidays off at all so need our nanny. If you are taking a day off to get some personal business done, so what. That is irrelevant to the nanny, whom you are paying for.


BTW, people seem to be complaining about MB or DB being in the house. Wonder how they handled when MB was home on maternity leave?

I don't work with infants under 6 months, so I'm never there for maternity leave. I don't have an issue with SAHPs, as long as they understand that it's not good to constantly disrupt the kids' schedules.

Your charge might have a younger sibling so MB will be home on maternity leave.

No, I don't work when there are any children under 6 months. Period. All of my families understand that, and I've never had a problem with that. Additionally, I like big families, so I look for parents who have all the kids they can handle (or more) and won't be having more.

Does it mean you hand in your notice if MB gets pregnant?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

Exactly. It doesn't matter what you do with your day off, OP, as long as you are paying your nanny for the hours she agreed to work.

The problem is that Nannies are expecting the same number of vacation days as their employer, hence the resentment. If her employer is a lawyer (or any other professional), he/she has paid thousands of $$ in tuition and then worked their ass off to pay off their student loan and get to where they are. Nannies, of course are oblivious to the education level, the struggle, stressful job, the money commitment etc, they just want to be a Nanny (majority are high school graduates) and get the same vacation perks as the employer, and if they don't get them then the resentment follows. What is wrong with their brains???? This is not how business world works. More importantly, nobody can't be equal to their employer, because they are the EMPLOYER. God, this is the most entitled employee group I have ever come across and I have seen many.

As a nanny I don't mind when my employers have a day off and I am working. I certainly don;t feel jealous or resentful that they have more time off than I do! However, my employers do not interfere with the regular schedule that I have with my charge and I stay in charge even when one or the other is home. It makes it far less confusing for my charge.

Yes, there will be days when your MB or DB take off of work or have a "vacation day" outside of your listed days off and you are expected to work.
Just like your NF will take vacation weeks off here and there and you will get paid extra days off not to work.
Big deal.

This is for you to negotiate in your contract. Your prospective family with either accept it, counter offer, or say good bye.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

FYI - In most office and career jobs you do need to GET APPROVAL for your vacation time off. Your boss literally has to approve it and may not if too many people already put in for that week off, you are in the middle of a big project, or it is a busy time of year.
So no, you don't go storming into your boss's office and demand a certain week off with no plan. You can say you want to take this week off and you intend to, but if the paperwork is not signed you just look like an @$$.

That's is not the same thing as saying half of your vacation will be when I tell you it is, then also claiming your employee has the freedom to use their vacation as they see fit. It's really quite ridiculous.

Working with your employer to pick your vacation week is not ridiculous at all. Acting like a prima donna and taking off at a bad time for your employer is ridiculous.
In most cases, it all works out. But if you go in there demanding the week they are both on work travel, or the week the kids are home from school, or the week the new baby is due, all to save $20 on a flight or whatnot, you absolutely look ridiculous.

Try to stay on topic dear. I said nothing about working with your employer on choosing dates. That is expected of course. Nanny employers often take this a step further, however, and go so far as to personally dictate when the vacation will be. This is not a situation of nanny saying I'd like these days off, does it work for you. This is the employer saying these are the days you will use your PTO. In the second situation, which is common for nannies who only get 2 weeks of PTO to begin with, it is crazy to think she won't resent you using your oodles of vacation that you couldn't be bothered to extend to her. There are nannies with decades of experience with what amounts to a measily 5 days of PTO that she controls. It really is quite shameful.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will be honest here. It bugs me. Yeah I know its your right to do what you want while you're paying me and all, and it may not be logical, but yes this bothers me. Do it often enough and we will have some serious resentment between us. I think what really bothers me is that the only reason you have these extra vacation days to use for nonsense is because you've given me the least amount of vacation time you could get away with. To say that a nanny could use her time off in the same is disingenuous. Most of us get 2 weeks, one of which you tell us when to use it.
So, OP, you can pull this a few times a year without doing serious damage to your relationship with your nanny, but make a habit of it, and it is basically rubbing your excessive vacation time in her face.

That's because you interpret "excessive" as "more than I have". That's not necessarily the case. Presumably you knew how much vacation time the job gave before you signed up.

Look, I said my feelings may not be logical, but OP expressed concern that she will cause hard feelings by doing this. Anyone who is being honest with you is going to tell you that they do not enjoy having disparities rubbed in their face. So as I said, sure OP is well within her right to do this, and if it is occasional it probably won't be a big deal. However if she intends to make a habit of it, yes, her nanny isn't going to love it. That's just real honest human nature.

I think you have a few levels of long built up resentment showing here. You are assuming disparities, you know your feelings aren't logical, you are applying whatever your past disgruntlements are to everyone here, and inferring all sorts of unpleasant intent.

I get X number of vacation days. You get X number of vacation days. Both of us can spend those days however we choose. Big trip, time w/ family, daily errands, sitting in bed eating Cheetos, whatever...

If you're cashing your check for being paid on those days, not being asked to suffer anything out of the ordinary, and not having your daily routine interfered with, then what your employer(s) are doing w/ the day shouldn't matter at all.

I just tried to answer OPs question honestly. I would resent it after a while, and I think most people would if they're being honest. You can say what you want about facts and logic, but people are not logical. Your logic isn't going to do OP any good when her nanny catches an attitude every time she does this, or when her nanny quits one day and she is blindsided. "But the Internet people said *logically* everything would be fine!!!"

FYI - In most office and career jobs you do need to GET APPROVAL for your vacation time off. Your boss literally has to approve it and may not if too many people already put in for that week off, you are in the middle of a big project, or it is a busy time of year.
So no, you don't go storming into your boss's office and demand a certain week off with no plan. You can say you want to take this week off and you intend to, but if the paperwork is not signed you just look like an @$$.

That's is not the same thing as saying half of your vacation will be when I tell you it is, then also claiming your employee has the freedom to use their vacation as they see fit. It's really quite ridiculous.

Working with your employer to pick your vacation week is not ridiculous at all. Acting like a prima donna and taking off at a bad time for your employer is ridiculous.
In most cases, it all works out. But if you go in there demanding the week they are both on work travel, or the week the kids are home from school, or the week the new baby is due, all to save $20 on a flight or whatnot, you absolutely look ridiculous.

Try to stay on topic dear. I said nothing about working with your employer on choosing dates. That is expected of course. Nanny employers often take this a step further, however, and go so far as to personally dictate when the vacation will be. This is not a situation of nanny saying I'd like these days off, does it work for you. This is the employer saying these are the days you will use your PTO. In the second situation, which is common for nannies who only get 2 weeks of PTO to begin with, it is crazy to think she won't resent you using your oodles of vacation that you couldn't be bothered to extend to her. There are nannies with decades of experience with what amounts to a measily 5 days of PTO that she controls. It really is quite shameful.