OP, I think people are being unnecessarily cruel to you.

However, this is truly not a nanny issue. She is not your nanny. You made a huge mistake trying to mix family and business.

If you wanted her to help you during this time, you should have told her in advance you will need her help.

Op said she sent her a message saying that she should have a speedy recovery and that she is going out of town. READ all the posts before you reply PP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OP is in the wrong!!!!!! No matter how you put it! Granted the extended cousin is living for free, she probably asked OP and the husband and they said fine. Op in this life you have to ask if you want something, not just expect it will fall on your lap. You shoul have just asked nicely and also added that it can be just for a couple of hours and say you would like for just this once to pay a little less than your regular $22 (maybe $15). Your problem is that you wanted her to do it for free. From what you tell us, it's not like you pay her even more than $300 a month, even if she is living with you she still has to take care of some of her personal expenses. If it is bothering you so much, just tell her that from x day you will start charging for rent (maybe 10 hours a week of babysitting) and no more than that, if it is more then you have to pay her her rate. Other than that, you do not consider her as a family member, you even showed it in your posts (on both forums), you started out by calling her live in nanny. You probably made your relationship like that because you were probably not happy she is living with you, but you are putting up with it because your husband asked. I hope you try to work o your relationship with this lady. Tell her how you felt and move on. Life is too short to dwell on small things. You just had a surgery, why spend so much time on the internet to discuss this nonsense? Go lay down on your living room couch with your kids playing near by so you can keep an eye on them. Or go sleep it something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your posts on General Forum and I wouldn't lift a finger to help you. You are a nasty, entitled b*tch.

I feel so sorry for the poor 34 year old cousin (from another country!) who comes here to get her college degree and gets stuck cleaning your house and watching your children.

She loves here rent/utilities/food free, cleans every other week, gets the same $ as my former cleaning lady used to get and watches my children once a month for 4 hours ($22/h). What's so horrible about it?

She has to live with you - that is what is so horrible about it.

I get it. OP's family is on a tight budget and cannot afford to outsource things at sky high prices. $22/hr for babysitting is sky high in NW DC, btw. Or cleaning or meals or help around the house.
Despite this, OP's family has generously allowed DH's distant 34yo cousin from another county to live with them for free, for 4+ years of "college." Let's hope it's at an accredited college and a useful major. This cousin may or may not be nice, or resourceful, or finding other ways to make pocket money. OP's family generously pays the cousin higher than market rates to pitch in around the house once in while. While living there FOR FREE (I.e. At least a $800-2,000/ month worth of free room, board, and maybe even meals).
Then OP, the mother has a surgery and extended houseguest distant cousin doesn't say a peep nor lift a finger. Nice.

Exactly!!! Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:I will answer this. You muddied the pot when you started exchanging room and board for work, and then more when you started to pay her for child care. If she were really a guest living rent/board free with no duties besides pitching in like a good member of the household, then, yeah, it would have been crummy of her not to offer to help.

But, you've been treating her like an employee/servant all this time, and she is surely aware that any "free" work she provides will just become part of what you expect her to do on a regular basis. So, no, she's not going to offer to do even more work for you for free, even though it would be a nice thing to do.

She doesn't do anything for free.
She lives here rent free, we pay her food and any time we need help with the kids (once a month) we pay her the hourly rate she charges us ($22/h) and we pay her to clean our home twice a month.
Where did you get that she's a slave????

Anonymous wrote:This is not a nanny issue. Can someone report this to the site administrators and have it removed?

I totally agree she is a cousin who watches children 4 hrs per month. That's no nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are digging yourself in deeper with every post trying to clarify your complaint. You will not listen to what anyone writes and just keep coming back with more and more damning statements!!!

And this is NOT a nanny issue so I have idea why you are even on this forum. Your houseguest, who occasionally babysits for you, didn't offer to do it for free this weekend. Boo-frinking-hoo. As PP pointed out, your "surgery" has not kept you off the internet for the last three hours. Save your energy for your children.

Love how the weirdo dcum nannies are out oIn full force ranting about their values and job scope and 25 per hour wouldn't allow them to help anyone! Dcum Classic.

What are you ranting about, Dear? Calm down and try to make your point.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are digging yourself in deeper with every post trying to clarify your complaint. You will not listen to what anyone writes and just keep coming back with more and more damning statements!!!

And this is NOT a nanny issue so I have idea why you are even on this forum. Your houseguest, who occasionally babysits for you, didn't offer to do it for free this weekend. Boo-frinking-hoo. As PP pointed out, your "surgery" has not kept you off the internet for the last three hours. Save your energy for your children.

Love how the weirdo dcum nannies are out oIn full force ranting about their values and job scope and 25 per hour wouldn't allow them to help anyone! Dcum Classic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your posts on General Forum and I wouldn't lift a finger to help you. You are a nasty, entitled b*tch.

I feel so sorry for the poor 34 year old cousin (from another country!) who comes here to get her college degree and gets stuck cleaning your house and watching your children.

She loves here rent/utilities/food free, cleans every other week, gets the same $ as my former cleaning lady used to get and watches my children once a month for 4 hours ($22/h). What's so horrible about it?

She has to live with you - that is what is so horrible about it.

I get it. OP's family is on a tight budget and cannot afford to outsource things at sky high prices. $22/hr for babysitting is sky high in NW DC, btw. Or cleaning or meals or help around the house.
Despite this, OP's family has generously allowed DH's distant 34yo cousin from another county to live with them for free, for 4+ years of "college." Let's hope it's at an accredited college and a useful major. This cousin may or may not be nice, or resourceful, or finding other ways to make pocket money. OP's family generously pays the cousin higher than market rates to pitch in around the house once in while. While living there FOR FREE (I.e. At least a $800-2,000/ month worth of free room, board, and maybe even meals).
Then OP, the mother has a surgery and extended houseguest distant cousin doesn't say a peep nor lift a finger. Nice.

I will answer this. You muddied the pot when you started exchanging room and board for work, and then more when you started to pay her for child care. If she were really a guest living rent/board free with no duties besides pitching in like a good member of the household, then, yeah, it would have been crummy of her not to offer to help.

But, you've been treating her like an employee/servant all this time, and she is surely aware that any "free" work she provides will just become part of what you expect her to do on a regular basis. So, no, she's not going to offer to do even more work for you for free, even though it would be a nice thing to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your posts on General Forum and I wouldn't lift a finger to help you. You are a nasty, entitled b*tch.

I feel so sorry for the poor 34 year old cousin (from another country!) who comes here to get her college degree and gets stuck cleaning your house and watching your children.

She loves here rent/utilities/food free, cleans every other week, gets the same $ as my former cleaning lady used to get and watches my children once a month for 4 hours ($22/h). What's so horrible about it?

She has to live with you - that is what is so horrible about it.

If it is as horrible as you say I wonder why she doesn't find a better place to live.

Because she is a college student from another country. Her options are very limited. How can you be so cruel and deaf, OP?

Cruel? We sponsor her, give her food, a home, lots of gifts, outings, pay for all work she does for us. There's nothing cruel about it.

You do not see what a horrible person you are - it must be hell living with you. You have been on this site, on three different forums, trying to get people to agree and feel sorry for you - and it did not happen. Give it up and please stop embarrassing yourself.

Funny that you guys keep calling me names but nobody could point why it's vile, cruel or nasty to support a distant family member living abroad and expect some help in return.

EVERYONE HAS TOLD YOUR WHY YOU ARE WRONG!!! Your husband's cousin is a GUEST in your home and not your personal maid. You never asked her to help you and you have your husband home with you -- why in the world would she think you needed more help?!!! You are bitching to us but never mentioned what you might need from her.

And you're posts are entitled -- I think we all realize that this cousin does not like you and we can all see why!

To quote another PP "Stop embarrassing yourself" and stop posting!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your posts on General Forum and I wouldn't lift a finger to help you. You are a nasty, entitled b*tch.

I feel so sorry for the poor 34 year old cousin (from another country!) who comes here to get her college degree and gets stuck cleaning your house and watching your children.

She loves here rent/utilities/food free, cleans every other week, gets the same $ as my former cleaning lady used to get and watches my children once a month for 4 hours ($22/h). What's so horrible about it?

She has to live with you - that is what is so horrible about it.

If it is as horrible as you say I wonder why she doesn't find a better place to live.

Because she is a college student from another country. Her options are very limited. How can you be so cruel and deaf, OP?

Cruel? We sponsor her, give her food, a home, lots of gifts, outings, pay for all work she does for us. There's nothing cruel about it.

You do not see what a horrible person you are - it must be hell living with you. You have been on this site, on three different forums, trying to get people to agree and feel sorry for you - and it did not happen. Give it up and please stop embarrassing yourself.

Funny that you guys keep calling me names but nobody could point why it's vile, cruel or nasty to support a distant family member living abroad and expect some help in return.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your posts on General Forum and I wouldn't lift a finger to help you. You are a nasty, entitled b*tch.

I feel so sorry for the poor 34 year old cousin (from another country!) who comes here to get her college degree and gets stuck cleaning your house and watching your children.

She loves here rent/utilities/food free, cleans every other week, gets the same $ as my former cleaning lady used to get and watches my children once a month for 4 hours ($22/h). What's so horrible about it?

She has to live with you - that is what is so horrible about it.

If it is as horrible as you say I wonder why she doesn't find a better place to live.

Because she is a college student from another country. Her options are very limited. How can you be so cruel and deaf, OP?

Cruel? We sponsor her, give her food, a home, lots of gifts, outings, pay for all work she does for us. There's nothing cruel about it.

soooo repetitive. you have reiterated this many times over. Maybe you need to go in for some brain surgery instead and get a clue.

btw. You needed her to be around to help watch the kids while you shower and take a nap. Just WHO is watching the children while you are on here for hours spewing this stuff?

Seriously, OP, STOP. You are, as PP said, embarrassing yourself. Try to see how wrong and ungracious you are and get on with your life. Your houseguest did nothing wrong. Move on.

This is not a nanny issue. Can someone report this to the site administrators and have it removed?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your posts on General Forum and I wouldn't lift a finger to help you. You are a nasty, entitled b*tch.

I feel so sorry for the poor 34 year old cousin (from another country!) who comes here to get her college degree and gets stuck cleaning your house and watching your children.

She loves here rent/utilities/food free, cleans every other week, gets the same $ as my former cleaning lady used to get and watches my children once a month for 4 hours ($22/h). What's so horrible about it?

She has to live with you - that is what is so horrible about it.

If it is as horrible as you say I wonder why she doesn't find a better place to live.

Because she is a college student from another country. Her options are very limited. How can you be so cruel and deaf, OP?

Cruel? We sponsor her, give her food, a home, lots of gifts, outings, pay for all work she does for us. There's nothing cruel about it.

You do not see what a horrible person you are - it must be hell living with you. You have been on this site, on three different forums, trying to get people to agree and feel sorry for you - and it did not happen. Give it up and please stop embarrassing yourself.