nannydebsays wrote:OP, I am sorry you are struggling with PPD. I hope you can find a more supportive mental health caregiver to help you through this, and that you start to feel better soon.

That said, your nanny sounds like a bit of an entitled BRAT. I am given access to my employer's kitchen (and I do the shopping), and I would never even consider it to be OK to ask my bosses to make me some lunch daily. If I am working, so are my employers, and the idea that they would stop doing their work to prepare meals for me is so insane as to be ridiculous.

I think it's time for a sit down with your nanny. If you are not mentally able to do it, have your SO take the lead. "Nanny, I just want to reiterate that you are welcome to prepare your meals in our kitchen and eat our food. If there is a specific type of food that we can purchase for you at XYZ store, please add it to the list we keep on the frig. we are also fine with you taking DC out to get your lunch if you prefer to buy something for yourself daily."

Yes! I hope the majority of the nanny responses are fakes just looking to stir the pot because it's just downright embarrassing. Never in a million years would I expect my employers to stop and make me lunch or even offer to do so. I do not exact for them to buy extras because I am a picky eater.I happen to work for and have always worked for great people. I care for children I do not behave like I still am a child.

Take care of yourself, OP and never mind your nanny's drama. I wouldn't suggest firing her only because that will probably end up being more stress for you. I sincerely hope you start to feel better soon.

OP, first of all, I'm sorry you are going through a rough time right now. Secondly, please ignore the entitled lazy nannies giving you ridiculous responses. Nannydeb was right on (and she's a nanny). You absolutely 100% do NOT have to make lunch in any way shape or form for the nanny. You have done more than some employers do just by making sure you have food she likes in your house and making it known she is welcome to help herself to anything. With that said, I understand your frustration but I'm not sure it will really be worth looking for another nanny simply because of this issue. Granted if she is like some of the nannies posting on here then that may not be your only issue. My advice is to try to talk to her about this (or ask your DH to) and try to wait until the cloud of the PPD is gone to re-evaluate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what PP's responses would be if this wasn't a telecommute situation. Would an MB be expected to provide food for the nanny?

Yes it would be. An MB that is away at the office isn't eating in front of her nanny without the time or respect to consider her. It isn't the not providing lunch that would irritate me, its the eating in front of me without offering. Its seriously rude. OP likely didn't even here the whole conversation. Her nanny may be like myself and she's peeved OP goes out to get lunch and can't even be bothered to say "hey, I'm getting lunch want some"? I couldn't work for someone like you OP. I'm hoping you're a sad troll. If not, get some help because you're acting like a nutter. Firing her over this? You have the energy to look for a new nanny, but not to pick up an extra sandwich for the one you have?

She's not eating in front of the nanny. She's heating up soup and taking it back into her office. She may not be planning to get lunch when she heads out to do errands - maybe the thought of going home to soup depresses her and it's a last minute decision to pull into BK.

Good lord. 18 kinds of crazy all over the nanny boards today. Jeez.

Yes, I would fire her because I am not a confrontational person and would rather fire her than confront her about it. But I will say, NONE of you have read my posts. I do not eat IN FRONT of her. I heat up soup and eat it in my office. While working. Door closed. As for picking up lunch, really, it's rude to do that 2-3 times a month? And again, eat it in my office with the door shut? No, it's not.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious what PP's responses would be if this wasn't a telecommute situation. Would an MB be expected to provide food for the nanny?

Yes it would be. An MB that is away at the office isn't eating in front of her nanny without the time or respect to consider her. It isn't the not providing lunch that would irritate me, its the eating in front of me without offering. Its seriously rude. OP likely didn't even here the whole conversation. Her nanny may be like myself and she's peeved OP goes out to get lunch and can't even be bothered to say "hey, I'm getting lunch want some"? I couldn't work for someone like you OP. I'm hoping you're a sad troll. If not, get some help because you're acting like a nutter. Firing her over this? You have the energy to look for a new nanny, but not to pick up an extra sandwich for the one you have?

If your symptoms of PPD are rage and overreacting to things, please get help before you become unnecessarily angry at your sweet baby.

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think I will be firing her.

I really work too much and feel too bad to have to worry about making someone else lunch. If all I can do is heat up a can of soup or run through a drive through for myself, I don't know why the nanny feels like I should make her lunch as well. I take 2 minutes to heat up soup and get back to work, why can't she do the same? Serious question.

Firing her ? Wow that seems so extreme . You overheard a one sided conversation. Maybe you misheard, misread the content. Maybe she was making a joke, having an awful day. I would let it go.

To be fair, it's a lot easier to fire and replace nanny over this than (and face higher unemployment insurance rates) it is to have a conversation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who struggled with severe PPD, I have a hard time believing that OP would rather deal with the stress of finding a new nanny while also working than deal with a nanny who was annoyed OP doesn't make her lunch or offer to get her something from mcds.

Then you didn't have rage and overreaction as a symptom.

Perhaps if you know that is a symptom, you should invest your time in finding a better therapist. Because until you do, you'll always find a reason to fire your nannies.

Anonymous wrote:As someone who struggled with severe PPD, I have a hard time believing that OP would rather deal with the stress of finding a new nanny while also working than deal with a nanny who was annoyed OP doesn't make her lunch or offer to get her something from mcds.

Then you didn't have rage and overreaction as a symptom.

As someone who struggled with severe PPD, I have a hard time believing that OP would rather deal with the stress of finding a new nanny while also working than deal with a nanny who was annoyed OP doesn't make her lunch or offer to get her something from mcds.

OP, I am sorry you are struggling with PPD. I hope you can find a more supportive mental health caregiver to help you through this, and that you start to feel better soon.

That said, your nanny sounds like a bit of an entitled BRAT. I am given access to my employer's kitchen (and I do the shopping), and I would never even consider it to be OK to ask my bosses to make me some lunch daily. If I am working, so are my employers, and the idea that they would stop doing their work to prepare meals for me is so insane as to be ridiculous.

I think it's time for a sit down with your nanny. If you are not mentally able to do it, have your SO take the lead. "Nanny, I just want to reiterate that you are welcome to prepare your meals in our kitchen and eat our food. If there is a specific type of food that we can purchase for you at XYZ store, please add it to the list we keep on the frig. we are also fine with you taking DC out to get your lunch if you prefer to buy something for yourself daily."

Anonymous wrote:
I guess if I were heating up soup there's no reason you can't just say "nanny I'm heating up tomato soup for my lunch, do you want some of that too?" but it sounds like what you're saying is that. You don't have the mental bandwidth for that. Am I understanding you correctly?

Not quite. To be honest, it never occurred to me because no one makes meals for me. If I am hungry, I just get something to eat and assumed everyone was like that. If I wanted around, I'd starve, so it's odd to me that she would.

I will ask her if she'd prefer different brands.

Op, I also have told the manny to help himself to whatever he wants for lunch and snacks. He does. Sometimes he brings leftovers from home, and a few times he's bought food and left it in our fridge with a note saying he brought it to use in his lunches for the week and hopes we don't mind.

I guess if I were heating up soup there's no reason you can't just say "nanny I'm heating up tomato soup for my lunch, do you want some of that too?" but it sounds like what you're saying is that. You don't have the mental bandwidth for that. Am I understanding you correctly?

I don't think this is a fire able offense - plus I think the stress of finding someone new would outweigh just talking to this person. I'm really confrontational so I would say to her "nanny I overheard you talking about how I don't make your lunch each day. Firstly, if you need to bitch about me, and it's okay that you do since most people bitch about their bosses at some point at least wait until you're out of my home to do it. Secondly, I know my mom was making your lunch for you while she was visiting. It seems like you really enjoyed that she did that. She doesn't work, and she isn't dealing with PPD, but I do and I am. So I don't have it in me to make your lunch. I wish I did, but I just don't. That's why I bought you stuff to make all kinds of sandwiches. Can you tell me why you're not helping yourself to the food specifically bOught for you? Is the wrong brand, or...?"

Then see what her answer is to that question. That right there is the key. A five minute talk could potentially clear this all up and will take a lot less time than finding a new nanny.

I hope you feel better soon, OP.