I'm a nanny and it was db job to wash the dishes and load the dishwasher. I started helping him in the morning when I get there while my charges were having breakfast, slowly he started leaving it and I would do it. After 2 weeks I and being peeved all day I just left it for him..He never said a word to me about it but he took care of it every morning thereafter.
Now with my nf I do things occasionally, but never the same thing twice in a month.

Anonymous wrote:It is apparent to me that the MB is not putting her cup in the dishwasher because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. Emptying the dishwasher is a five or ten minute job, not a thirty second job. That's five or ten minutes that the mom may not have as she's trying to feed the kids and get out the door on time. But the nanny certainly can find five minutes to empty a dishwasher when she works with one baby who takes several naps.

To the poster who said the MB needs to pay more if she wants to ask the nanny to start emptying the dishwasher--you are nuts. Jobs evolve as needs are identified. If my boss assigned me to handle some new five minute task every day and I said "okay, but that will cost you another dollar an hour," I would be laughed out of a job.

If that five minute job had absolutely nothing to do with your job, you're damn right it would require more money, especially if that job is actually someone else's and they are changing/adding to your title. If your boss asks you to start cleaning out his email mail box daily for him, it takes 5 minutes, but 1) it isn't your job, 2) some people are particular about how said job is done, and 3) it changes the nature of your job and will undoubtedly snowball. In OPs case, today it the coffee cup, next week its all of the breakfast dishes, in a month they are bothering to do any dishes, soon enough she's cleaning up after all meals, washing pots and pans, straightening the kitchen, and more. No. If you want to start adding housekeeping needs as you see them, the privilege will cost you, or you will evolve yourself right out of a nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Search for "job creep" - while you are probably one of the good MBs, too many nannies have done such chores to be nice and it ended up growing into a permanent job responsibility. One coffee cup becomes clearing all breakfast dishes, washing one load of laundry becomes washing all the parents laundry, ironing it and putting it away.

Agreed.

Your nanny is probably afraid that if she started doing it, it would be expected.

Anonymous wrote:It is apparent to me that the MB is not putting her cup in the dishwasher because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. Emptying the dishwasher is a five or ten minute job, not a thirty second job. That's five or ten minutes that the mom may not have as she's trying to feed the kids and get out the door on time. But the nanny certainly can find five minutes to empty a dishwasher when she works with one baby who takes several naps.

To the poster who said the MB needs to pay more if she wants to ask the nanny to start emptying the dishwasher--you are nuts. Jobs evolve as needs are identified. If my boss assigned me to handle some new five minute task every day and I said "okay, but that will cost you another dollar an hour," I would be laughed out of a job.

Where do you work? Maybe MB can drop her dirty clothes off there.

It is apparent to me that the MB is not putting her cup in the dishwasher because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes. Emptying the dishwasher is a five or ten minute job, not a thirty second job. That's five or ten minutes that the mom may not have as she's trying to feed the kids and get out the door on time. But the nanny certainly can find five minutes to empty a dishwasher when she works with one baby who takes several naps.

To the poster who said the MB needs to pay more if she wants to ask the nanny to start emptying the dishwasher--you are nuts. Jobs evolve as needs are identified. If my boss assigned me to handle some new five minute task every day and I said "okay, but that will cost you another dollar an hour," I would be laughed out of a job.

Anonymous wrote:I think you're being unfair OP. You shouldn't create a situation that might upset you. I'm an MB and in over 2 years I have never left dirty dishes in the sink or any laundry in any location where our nanny might feel obligated to do it. I consider it basic courtesy to have my house somewhat tidy when our nanny shows up.

That said, your nanny does sound unusually rigid. There have been times I've forgotten to empty the dishwasher and come home to find our nanny did it. And vice versatile, she's left tupperware or coffee mugs here and I've washed them for her. Again, to me, it's about mutual courtesy.

Since your nanny is great otherwise, my advise is to leave the house the way you want it so you won't notice that she didn't do something.

Another MB here and I totally agree with this. I would never expect the nanny to do our laundry, our dishes, etc... And I don't leave things like that around for her to have to see/deal with. But life does happen so sometimes she'll run the dishwasher or wash a bowl (or whatever) and sometimes I do the same things for her. Sometimes I start a load of kids' laundry in the morning, sometimes I put away her things or finish the dishes if she didn't get them all done and the day is over. I might be a little irked if I felt the nanny was being especially rigid, but honestly - I don't test it or expect her to do anything beyond the kid related stuff.

You could be having problems with basic trust, following your rules, arriving late, ignoring your child, etc... Consider yourself lucky if this is the toughest thing you have to accept.

As a nanny I do wash my employers dishes if out. However, OP, if you are so bugged by your dish ring left out, why aren't you putting it away? It's laziness on your part to leave it there. It's not her job to clean up after you, more so it isn't your job to clean up after her. I will fold my employers clothes if they are in the dryer but I don't wash them. It isn't my job to. I do unload/load dishwasher because I use the dishes and feel its only fair to.

I think you need to realize what a wonderful nanny you have and not get annoyed over tiny issues that aren't your responsibility, not hers.

Anonymous wrote:OP Here - wow... Thank you, I really got a lesson in reality here. I am wrong to be bugged and should be on my knees thanking God for such a great nanny for my child.

Some of you MBs are NUTSO! I also want to thank God that I'm nothing like any of you.

Okay, disregard everything everyone said but when you say something stupid to your nanny and she quits, don't return to DCUM to bitch.

OP Here - wow... Thank you, I really got a lesson in reality here. I am wrong to be bugged and should be on my knees thanking God for such a great nanny for my child.

Some of you MBs are NUTSO! I also want to thank God that I'm nothing like any of you.

Maybe she is bothered that you can't put your own cup in the dishwasher, a seemingly easy task. Instead you leave it out and in the way.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with others. You can feel whatever you like, but yes I think you're being silly. If the coffee cup not being in the sink bugs you, whose fault is that really? Maybe the person who left it out? If her job is to do baby laundry, why would she do yours if she doesn't want to? As someone who has been down the just trying to be helpful road, she sounds great at her job AND smart enough to avoid the job creep. Appreciate her for doing her job excellently, don't resent her for not doing what is not hers to do.

Completely agree with this, especially the bolded section.

I think you're being unfair OP. You shouldn't create a situation that might upset you. I'm an MB and in over 2 years I have never left dirty dishes in the sink or any laundry in any location where our nanny might feel obligated to do it. I consider it basic courtesy to have my house somewhat tidy when our nanny shows up.

That said, your nanny does sound unusually rigid. There have been times I've forgotten to empty the dishwasher and come home to find our nanny did it. And vice versatile, she's left tupperware or coffee mugs here and I've washed them for her. Again, to me, it's about mutual courtesy.

Since your nanny is great otherwise, my advise is to leave the house the way you want it so you won't notice that she didn't do something.

I have been with my current and first family for one year. In that time they have never once thanked me for doing anything extra. I have folded laundry, washed a sink of dishes, even baked cookies for the household. Not a single acknowledgement of my efforts. The first cut is the deepest - no one will ever get this from me again unless they want to pay for it.

Anonymous wrote:OP-would you be upset if your nanny left her drinking glass out for you to pick up after she left everyday?

I can't believe that,I'm a nanny as well and I never do that.

OP-would you be upset if your nanny left her drinking glass out for you to pick up after she left everyday?