Anonymous wrote:While I disapprove of the rude tone taken in the previous two posts, I'm a NP who also never gives a reason when I cancel an appointment (same as a babysitting job) two weeks in advance. 24 hours notice? Absolutely I would explain. A few days out? It would depend on the circumstances and how good our relationship was, but maybe. Two weeks is outrageous. Do you apologize to your dentist when you cancel your appt two weeks early and explain you had to because you've been waiting for an OBGYN slot to open up and you have to prioritize that? No. We are modern, assertive women the same as you; we understand common courtesy and professional expectations AND we do not fall into the trap of feeling guilty or apologizing all the time for setting reasonable boundaries in our lives.

Anonymous wrote:OP here:

wow.

i am shocked at the venom on this site.

this was my first time posting and the response is pretty unbelievable. i hope i don't know any of you nannies in real life.

as i noted, i needed someone to give me this date. it was emphasized that this was very important to my work. the first 3 sitters i contacted had conflicts - two have grad school classes on the evening i need (and both said they wished they could get out of them), the third has a recurring babysitting job for the same night. (so i think i have a good number of babysitters). i offer $25/hr for 2 potty trained kids who are pleasant. i do not ask for any additional work. i leave food for the sitter.

this is the third time this sitter has canceled - first two times were much earlier this year - weather and illness, so I didn't think she didn't want to sit.

I asked how one would go about emphasizing to a sitter for a very important date and i got slammed for imagined offenses - i don't pay enough! i treat people poorly! i cancel on sitters all the time!

ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:You got slammed for bitching about having 2 weeks to find a sitter. Life happens and your sitter's life does not revolve around your priorities/commitments.

Anonymous wrote:While I disapprove of the rude tone taken in the previous two posts, I'm a NP who also never gives a reason when I cancel an appointment (same as a babysitting job) two weeks in advance. 24 hours notice? Absolutely I would explain. A few days out? It would depend on the circumstances and how good our relationship was, but maybe. Two weeks is outrageous. Do you apologize to your dentist when you cancel your appt two weeks early and explain you had to because you've been waiting for an OBGYN slot to open up and you have to prioritize that? No. We are modern, assertive women the same as you; we understand common courtesy and professional expectations AND we do not fall into the trap of feeling guilty or apologizing all the time for setting reasonable boundaries in our lives.

Anonymous wrote:I asked a frequent babysitter of ours (an adult who nannies, not a college or high school student) if she could babysit two evenings while our nanny is out of town. I emphasized - or tried to - that I would not commit to my work-related evening meetings unless she could work the two evenings. She agreed and said she was absolutely free both of the days and at the times I specified. I just got an email (2 weeks before the 2 evenings) that she can only work 1 of the 2. I'm really irritated b/c this was a major event for me and I scheduled it 6 weeks in advance because I needed assurance that I would be able to go. It's a mandatory work-field-wide meeting and I was relying on this person.

Is 2 weeks too short notice? Should I be upset? Or do plans just change and I'm being unreasonable expecting anyone to commit to something in stone 6 weeks in advance?

Anonymous wrote:Pp here who does expect an explanation if someone tells me they are taking a job and then cancels. You are right - my recourse would be to just not hire that person and if burned badly enough to let my neighbors know too if they asked about that sitter. I frankly am skeptical that finding an occasional sitter is all that hard though. (A great nanny - yes - but a date night sitter? I basically need someone capable of not frightening my kids in the 1 hr they are awake before lights out while the date night sitter comes. I just don't think it is all that rough a job or tough to find someone to do.