In a way, I'm not surprised. It seems like the employer who offers low wages also offers a low level of professional respect. They are accustomed to teenage babysitters, not professional caretakers. The most difficult employer I ever had was also the cheapest.

Separately, regarding the cleanliness issue, this seems to be a personal choice you may never get a handle on in another person. I know one professional woman who I like and respect a lot, but who keeps an amazingly dirty house - not just clutter on every flat surface but old food on dirty dishes all over the kitchen - and she takes pride in it!

She says she is being honest about who she is and what she cares about. She believes that neatness is some kind of small-minded obsession for people who have mixed up priorities. So go figure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seeing she's giving her all to your family for three years already, would it be possible to consider to pay for some kind of housekeeping? One person for 3 or 4 hours a week, or even one day a month? She's obliously overwhelmed with her personal conditions and needs some help. Ask her to pick a service. She'll probably be innitially embarassed, but incredibly appreciative of your generosity and thoughtfulness. Her recent surgery is a perfect opportunity for you to do this if you can possibly afford to help her. Her work performance for your children could only get even better, if anything. This has got to be a huge burden for her to be dealing with.

This is terrible advice. She is an adult and the employer should mind her own business out of respect for the nanny's personal boundaries.

She's a great nanny with some apparent mental health issues. Offering help is completely respectful and caring.

Yes but I think the point is that "help" would be in the form of a psychologist/psychiatrist not a housekeeper and that is definitely crossing boundaries. Have you ever seen the show hoarders? I can't imagine how a housekeeper could do anything at all to help that situation. Housekeepers clean (as in washing floors and scrubbing toilets). They don't throw away things people have collected.

+1

If my boss told me she thought I had mental health issues and she wanted to pay for psychiatric help I would have a bloody fit!!!! I do a good job, that's all you need to know. Butt out! We'd crucify an employer who came on here and suggested getting this involved in their nanny's personal business. Do you want to measure my alcohol consumption and decide if I have drinking problem? What about my sex life? My relationship w/ my family? Etc...

If the nanny does a good job the condition of her house is none of the employer's business. And this poster already made it clear that they're helping the nanny w/ tons of stuff already like the insurance and health issues.

Jeez. People always just looking to butt in and criticize here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Seeing she's giving her all to your family for three years already, would it be possible to consider to pay for some kind of housekeeping? One person for 3 or 4 hours a week, or even one day a month? She's obliously overwhelmed with her personal conditions and needs some help. Ask her to pick a service. She'll probably be innitially embarassed, but incredibly appreciative of your generosity and thoughtfulness. Her recent surgery is a perfect opportunity for you to do this if you can possibly afford to help her. Her work performance for your children could only get even better, if anything. This has got to be a huge burden for her to be dealing with.

This is terrible advice. She is an adult and the employer should mind her own business out of respect for the nanny's personal boundaries.

She's a great nanny with some apparent mental health issues. Offering help is completely respectful and caring.

Yes but I think the point is that "help" would be in the form of a psychologist/psychiatrist not a housekeeper and that is definitely crossing boundaries. Have you ever seen the show hoarders? I can't imagine how a housekeeper could do anything at all to help that situation. Housekeepers clean (as in washing floors and scrubbing toilets). They don't throw away things people have collected.