Anonymous wrote:While I think it's odd for her to not be sharing the pictures with you, I also find it odd that you expect her not to share anything with her family. I mean if she posting online without permission thanI understand, but if she visits family and they ask to see a photo of the children she spends so much time with, why is that a problem? I assuming she's full time and has been with them awhile, I don't know why you would be upset if she has such a strong bond that she wants to share a little bit of her life with her family. Your children become a big part a nanny's life if you have a good one. I take tons of pictures of my charges, all the good ones are sent to my employers, I share them on my website, nanny fb page and twitter (I have written consent forms signed by my employers). My grandmother often asks to see pictures of the children because I've cared for them since they were babies, if I let her she would probably send them Christmas gifts but I won't cross that boundary.

The children become a part of your life for a short time and many ppl with close family ties enjoy sharing bits of their life with each other.

However, you are the parent and employer, you have every right to have her sign a confidentiality form that prevents her for sharing any information, down to your child's first name. I'd just find it extreme and would worry you have some dangerous personal issues (stalkers, problems with the law) and that's why you don't want information shared in anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Put the scale away, op. Tell her you don't want her telling anyone but you and your spouse anything about your kid health.

We had our manny sign a confidentiality agreement. Any pics he takes are to be deleted after being forwarded to us, he's not to discuss our kids with anyone but us or the kids instructors, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Lets just all agree to ignore the "manny" poster. She proves time and time again that she is a crazy bitch of an employer. OPs nanny is off her rocker, but demanding that all pictures be forwarded to you then deleted? Insane. Demanding that your employee never speak of his job, INSANE. I'm really surprised you've managed to keep this guy around.

Anonymous wrote:Put the scale away, op. Tell her you don't want her telling anyone but you and your spouse anything about your kid health.

We had our manny sign a confidentiality agreement. Any pics he takes are to be deleted after being forwarded to us, he's not to discuss our kids with anyone but us or the kids instructors, etc.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm curious as to what you all think of this. I raised the pictures tonight and asked that she share them with us. I offered to set up and pay for a Dropbox or other similar file sharing setup. She was highly reluctant, saying she didn't know how, etc. I told her we would show her. She then said "I will give you some but these pictures are for me. I want some just for me."

I had to walk away at that point. We are the parents. There are no pictures of our toddler and baby that we should be denied seeing. She has done this kind of thing before - telling me not to say a certain word to my son because it is "her word" with him.

So, what do I do now? I'm absolutely not ok with this and think it signifies a bigger problem. I am planning on telling her in the morning that her keeping pictures from us is unacceptable and non-negotiable. Any thoughts?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'm curious as to what you all think of this. I raised the pictures tonight and asked that she share them with us. I offered to set up and pay for a Dropbox or other similar file sharing setup. She was highly reluctant, saying she didn't know how, etc. I told her we would show her. She then said "I will give you some but these pictures are for me. I want some just for me."

I had to walk away at that point. We are the parents. There are no pictures of our toddler and baby that we should be denied seeing. She has done this kind of thing before - telling me not to say a certain word to my son because it is "her word" with him.

So, what do I do now? I'm absolutely not ok with this and think it signifies a bigger problem. I am planning on telling her in the morning that her keeping pictures from us is unacceptable and non-negotiable. Any thoughts?

Your nanny is in the wrong. The fact that she doesn't want to share the pics with you is a huge red flag. While she owns the copyright to the photos, she should be sharing them with you. And the whole not wanting you to use certain words with your children? Way too creepy. Your nanny has broken boundaries that should not be broken. You may want to consider finding a new nanny.

May want to consider?

Fire her. No questions asked. And likely I would go a step further and get a lawyer to draft a letter of some type informing her you explicitly have not given your permission to use or publish photos of your minor child and requesting all photos be deleted etc. who knows if it holds water but I would try to scare the crap out of her.