A bonus is not a gift. It is an employer's way of saying "Thank You" for a job well done. So the original poster is upset because her nanny didn't provide an emotionally satisfying thank you in response to her own "Thank You" bonus. I suppose the nanny should have taken some of the bonus money and bought her boss a thank you gift. Then the boss could write a thank you card to thank the nanny for the thank you gift which was given in response to the thank you bonus. Give me a break.

My nanny always writes us a lovely thank you note for the gifts and bonus she receives. We don't expect her to do so but, to be honest, her heartfelt gratitude makes us want to give her even more next year!

Those of you complaining about your nanny not thanking you, do you mean she didn't say thank you when handed the check, or that she didn't write a thank you note? I said thank you when I was handed a card, but didnt write a thank you note. I gave them gifts on the same occasion. I don't really see a reason for us to go through the circular motions (and paper) of writing thank you notes back and forth for a mutual gift exchange. Also you all go on and on each year about a bonus is not a gift per se, but one that is earned through performance. If she's earned it, why the expectation of groveling in thanks? Do you expect a thank you note for her paycheck too?

Our nanny didn't thank us, either. Some people are just ungrateful or do not know proper manners.

I had 3 different nannies over the course of last 6 years. Each of them always received a bonus equal to one weeks pay at Christmas. the first two never thanked me for it. My current nanny, cooked full dinner for me on the day she got the bonus -- that was a nice surprise, kind of better than a thank you.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way in the world. I hate when people don't use simple manners.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't open cards or gifts in front of the giver, unless they want me to (my mum's ways I guess), and then I thank them. All my former bosses know I was appreciative of any gifts...heck, I was always, giving their kids stuff.

Are you not from America? In the U.S. it is considered proper to open in front of the person who gave you the gift. The idea behind it is that people like to see the reaction to the gifts they give.

No I wasn't born here. I also don't expect anyone to open a gift in front of me. Different strokes I guess.

This stuff is awkward, so I don't expect (or get) and big thank you. After all, my husband doesn't thank his bosses for his bonus. No big deal. I love her and all she does so graciously for us and love that we can give her a Christmas bonus. I don't need a thank you.