PS her name does not start with L

OP is back. And nanny is still with us. I'm giving her a chance and hope that this was a one time thing. Her demeanor and way with DS is really what we like so based on that I will hold off on making crazy assumptions until I see a definitive pattern. We had such a bad experience the first time around . I always felt like our first nanny was always taken us for a ride no matter how generous we were.

Like I have said a few times, as parents we learn to take more than we normally would for the happiness of our child. So that's it for now. I will keep this thread in mind if s** hits the fan LOL and post so others can learn from my my experience, whether it's a positive ending or not.

Curious OP is the nanny still working out or did you replace her ?

To the original poster: Does your nanny's first name happen to start with 'L'?

So, what you know about your nanny is :

-she doesn't have a great work ethic (sick day in the first week is a huge flag, this is her on her BEST behavior)
-she doesn't follow through on what she says (telling you what the Dr said, as she indicated she would)
-she is morally compromised (she is currently committing fraud, by not reporting her earnings to the IRS and by taking unemployment while employed. That she told you about it means she is not ashamed but feels entitled to collect unemployment while working and that she should not have to pay tax on her income)
-she does not expect the position to last (why else would she still be on unemployment)?

Her actions sound similar to our previous nanny. She used a day and a half in the first two weeks and all of her 2 weeks of leave by 6 months - none for vacation, all last minute excuses. She was great with the children when we were there, but we eventually caught on that she had been lying to us and was borderline neglectful.

I would keep looking. Not saying you should fire her, but I would expect her actions to be indicative of other negative behavior and I would not like to be caught in a situation where she had leverage in terms of you knowingly helping her defraud federal and state governments. And the "severance because of the holidays" is ridiculous.

I've been sick with upper respiratory problems, feeling like I chewed on crushed glass. Guess what? I caught whatever the baby had, AND I could only whisper over the phone. I also texted my prescription, and doctor's note to the client.

To the OP, I think you should give her some time, to truly reveal her character to you. I had a client, who in my initial weeks/months, was truly impossible to deal with. She later turned out to be one of my best assignments, and one of my biggest advocates. She never hesitates to tell any prospective employer who calls her for a reference, that I was a gift to her family.

Let her know that you wish to be contacted by phone instead of text, and also let her know how you want your son's meals cooked. In addition, remember to keep your phone on. I've called ( and texted) a client at 5am and 5:30 am to tell them about a lack of transportation on a snow day. They were upset with me, because they had their phones off, and didn't listen to anything.

"Deplorable" is a "big girl" word?

Thoughts:
-my work agreement says that I am required to give only one hour's notice if I am sick. In the future, you might want to make a work agreement specifying your needs.
As it happens, any time I've been sick I knew the night before that I wouldn't be able to make it in.
-Expecting her to call vs text seems unnecessary. I communicate with my families via text and email. Text is best because it's immediate. Typically, when I try and call, I get voicemail.

If you're unhappy with her performance -- and it seems like you are, which is fine -- then let her go. I'd be inclined to find a new nanny first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm an MB.

Keep looking. Let this nanny take you through the holidays (and through the trial period you've established - and good for you for setting that up!). In the meantime find someone about whom you have a better "gut" instinct.

I totally agree that someone can get sick at any time - we're all human. And I don't want my child getting sick through someone not taking a sick day when it's necessary. But if I were in my second week on a job and wanted to keep the job I would give as much notice as possible, call not text, be extremely apologetic and try to sincerely convey that I would only be taking the day off if it was critically necessary.

It doesn't sound like your nanny exerted herself at all to build/develop/maintain your confidence in her. And it sounds like you already have some other concerns about her performance. This is what a trial period is for.

If you decide to let her go right before xmas (assuming that's even a holiday for you and/or her) then you can always be generous with severance to acknowledge the holiday.

Your child will bond with other people also. Turnover is a nightmare but you want a strong, long-term, trusting relationship with your nanny. When you have concerns on day 6 that's a problem.

Good luck!

I agree with most of your points, however, we don't really know that the nanny DIDN'T do these things. We know she texted. That's it.
We don't know what their agreement on calling out was (I have had employers who prefer a text, especially if it is at 5:30 AM). We don't know what she said or how apologetic she was.

The assumption, it seems like all of the time, is that the nanny is being shady and that somehow every MBs "gut" feelings are always 100% accurate (definitely never influenced by uncertainty with a new nanny, external stressors, etc). Presumably, OP put a lot of effort into finding this nanny, shouldn't she exert a bit more find out if she is worth keeping around?

How an employee "calls in sick" is something that should be established. Personally, I call when I start to come down with something and give them a heads up I may not be coming in. If an employee were to text me and say they weren't coming in, I would think it was rude. But the nanny may not have known what the best course of action was.

OP, it sounds like you are not happy with her performance anyway. It is something you want to try and resolve, or have you already made up your mind to start looking for someone else? This is just another reason why all these things need to be discussed up front. I know sometimes we don't think about them, but it is better to have all the bases covered than have something like this come up and neither party is sure of what they should be doing.