Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not tight at all pp. I actually do not care about making a dollar profit from buying you a gallon of milk. What irks me is this sense of entitlement that you and for example, my MB have. You need me to go get milk? Then open your fucking wallet and get money out of it and do the right thing. Pay for it. Your nanny has zero obligation of covering your expenses till the next day even tho you are giving her "drummmmsss please" an extra dollar. Who cares about your dollar??? Pay for your own milk. IN ADVANCE, not after. It is annoying and I guarantee you your nanny finds it annoying one way or the other (she won't let you know if you ask either)

It's fucking milk. It's not like you are fronting money for their entire grocery bill. Are you that selfish that you can't pick up milk when you are out anyway because your MB forgot to leave $5? As long as they reimburse you for it in a timely manner, I don't see what the problem is. -from a nanny.

It's not about the amount spent, it's the action of expecting it to be paid for up front. Milk (or bread or cold medicine or diapers...you get the point) doesn't magically disappear. Presumably, the day before you are out of an item, you notice it running low. Have a bit of foresight and either pick it up yourself on the way home from work, or leave some cash for your nanny the morning said item is needed. It's that easy.
This, along with so many other lovely aspects of nannying, is one of those things that can get out of hand. Yes, one day it is milk, and within the year, it is the whole grocery bill (true story, an MB needed her $14/lb turkey picked up from Whole Foods and neglected to tell me it had not yet been paid for until I was at the store, fronting the bill for her $150 turkey).
ANNND, most nannies, contrary to the representations on this forum, are pretty generous people and feel petty asking to be paid back for $2-5 items. Just like most MBs conveniently "forget" to do so, so more often than not, it's not a matter of the nanny fronting the milk money, it's just her paying for it all together.

It's called going above and beyond. You would prob b*th about getting a cheap Holiday bonus but you bulk at buying milk? I'm so glad I've been blessed with the nanny I have for my children. So glad she doesn't have your mindset.

I'm the pp you are quoting. I go above and beyond ALL THE TIME for my nanny family. I take the kids on outings and pay out of pocket, if I see we are low on something, I stop by the store and pick it up without being asked, I organize the fridge/freezer/pantry/kids closets/play room on a regular basis (again, I was never asked to), I take the initiative to start dinner on nights one parent will be late, I arrive early and stay late many days, I could go on and on...I do all of this without requiring to be paid extra and I don't feel bad about it because MB leaves a $20 on the fridge at all times to cover any incidentals that may come up. If she didn't, I wouldn't be picking up milk or bread or glitter or whatever else we need. Period. It has nothing to do with my attitude or entitlement. Frankly, you reek of entitlement, expecting a nanny to do favors for you and assuming she is a bitch if she doesn't.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not tight at all pp. I actually do not care about making a dollar profit from buying you a gallon of milk. What irks me is this sense of entitlement that you and for example, my MB have. You need me to go get milk? Then open your fucking wallet and get money out of it and do the right thing. Pay for it. Your nanny has zero obligation of covering your expenses till the next day even tho you are giving her "drummmmsss please" an extra dollar. Who cares about your dollar??? Pay for your own milk. IN ADVANCE, not after. It is annoying and I guarantee you your nanny finds it annoying one way or the other (she won't let you know if you ask either)

It's fucking milk. It's not like you are fronting money for their entire grocery bill. Are you that selfish that you can't pick up milk when you are out anyway because your MB forgot to leave $5? As long as they reimburse you for it in a timely manner, I don't see what the problem is. -from a nanny.

It's not about the amount spent, it's the action of expecting it to be paid for up front. Milk (or bread or cold medicine or diapers...you get the point) doesn't magically disappear. Presumably, the day before you are out of an item, you notice it running low. Have a bit of foresight and either pick it up yourself on the way home from work, or leave some cash for your nanny the morning said item is needed. It's that easy.
This, along with so many other lovely aspects of nannying, is one of those things that can get out of hand. Yes, one day it is milk, and within the year, it is the whole grocery bill (true story, an MB needed her $14/lb turkey picked up from Whole Foods and neglected to tell me it had not yet been paid for until I was at the store, fronting the bill for her $150 turkey).
ANNND, most nannies, contrary to the representations on this forum, are pretty generous people and feel petty asking to be paid back for $2-5 items. Just like most MBs conveniently "forget" to do so, so more often than not, it's not a matter of the nanny fronting the milk money, it's just her paying for it all together.

It's called going above and beyond. You would prob b*th about getting a cheap Holiday bonus but you bulk at buying milk? I'm so glad I've been blessed with the nanny I have for my children. So glad she doesn't have your mindset.

So glad my MB gave me her credit card from the get go.

Parents simply leave, ok, SHOULD leave 20 bucks in an envelope for incidentals. Nanny puts receipts in the envelope. Parents reload as often as required.

So simple. Why not do it?

Anonymous wrote:In my many years of nannying I have been taken advantage of by nice, well meaning that I had a good relationship with. It happens! We pay out of pocket too much! In a job with little protection it can make us bitter and suspicious, hence very detailed contracts that include sick days, vacation days, gas coverage, guaranteed hours and pay, overtime pay, taxed pay, raises, reimbursement for child related expenses groceries, shopping, & dry-cleaning (receipts provided). It's a lot for us to keep track of.
I'd say my pet peeves are when parents do not leave cash or a card to cover whatever it is they want me to pick up for them. Being asked to do laundry and cLeaning then being told how to do it, I've been doing both professionally and personally or twenty years, if your that particular do it yourself. Parents scheduling something everyday for children, it's too much. Leaving me Sunday dinner dishes and three loads of laundry for Monday morning. Asking me to worK all day and do a date night, but not ordering us a pizza for dinner. There's lots of annoying things they do, but the worst is they don't realize how much I do for them.

As an MB, I agree with a few of your irritations, but would offer the following for consideration:

1. Paying out of pocket for things for the kids - just don't, or do, but bring receipts to the parents at the end of the day asking for reimbursement. This is something that parents should be clear on upfront though. For example, I've asked our nanny to bring along packed lunches or snacks when they go on activities rather than buying snacks while out. If she then chooses not to or forgets, once in a while, I'm fine. But if she was bringing me receipts every day of things she'd purchased for the kids without my asking for it, I would be irritated. Make sure you are on the same page as the parents in terms of what they will reimburse you for, and if they have said they don't want you buying the kids stuff, don't.

2. Being told how to do laundry - I get that you've been doing laundry for a long time, but surely you recognize that everyone has different preferences for how it should be done? Different machines, different allergies, different clothes? I've noticed this even between the ways my husband does laundry and my mom and myself. Your MB is probably just making it clear how SHE wants the task done because she knows what works for her. No need to take offense, just listen, note anything special, and move on.

3. Scheduling something every day - is it possible they think they're helping you? Sometimes I've scheduled things for the kids just so I know my nanny has something to do with them. If you feel it's too much for the kids, talk to your employers. If you feel it's too much for YOU, maybe it's not the right job match for you.

4. Parents leaving dishes and laundry from the weekend - Not ok, and I've never done this to my nanny. That said, I have found that it works both ways. Wow, if I had a tough weekend and happened to leave some extra dishes and my nanny did them for me - I would be thrilled. And I'd be more than happy to be fine if she left some mess a few times herself. It's great when it works both ways.

5. Working on a date night and not ordering a pizza - is there a reason you don't consider making dinner for the kids part of your duties? My last sitter would do this - she would, without fail, even when she'd been sitting for us for along time always ask what we were getting for them for dinner before we left. It was fine, but it meant that it was one more thing that *I* had to organize every time I went out. Our next sitter makes plans for what she's going to feed the kids. She'll come in and say "I was thinking about making spaghetti for the dinner, that ok?" or whatever we happened to have in the cupboard. Awesome to have a sitter that takes that initiative.

In my many years of nannying I have been taken advantage of by nice, well meaning that I had a good relationship with. It happens! We pay out of pocket too much! In a job with little protection it can make us bitter and suspicious, hence very detailed contracts that include sick days, vacation days, gas coverage, guaranteed hours and pay, overtime pay, taxed pay, raises, reimbursement for child related expenses groceries, shopping, & dry-cleaning (receipts provided). It's a lot for us to keep track of.
I'd say my pet peeves are when parents do not leave cash or a card to cover whatever it is they want me to pick up for them. Being asked to do laundry and cLeaning then being told how to do it, I've been doing both professionally and personally or twenty years, if your that particular do it yourself. Parents scheduling something everyday for children, it's too much. Leaving me Sunday dinner dishes and three loads of laundry for Monday morning. Asking me to worK all day and do a date night, but not ordering us a pizza for dinner. There's lots of annoying things they do, but the worst is they don't realize how much I do for them.

Yeah another MB here who would never expect our nanny to front me any money. I really think a lot of these posters are extremely bent out of shape about something that a handful of posters are claiming happens to them and are extrapolating to this large quantity of MBs who take advantage of their nannies and then turn around and fire them for one offense. I'm not saying these things don't happen, but there really is no reason to resort to inflammatory language and get all angry about something that a very few posters posted about on DCUM, which isn't even close to representing any sample of the general nanny/employer population.

This board is poison seriously. Even though I rationally know what I posted above, I honestly am more and more suspicious of nannies in general based on the absolutely asinine posts on here. I'm sure nannies feel the same way about employers based on the stories they read from other nannies.

+1000.

Anonymous wrote:I am the MB who said that I do this-- and I am really amazed that someone would b*tch about it.
1. I call the nanny and ask her to pick up milk on the way in-- baby drank more than expected the night before and I don't want her to run out during the day-- how am I supposed to magically transport her money?

Nanny should be picking up milk while on the clock, not on her own time, unless you're paying her extra for the time it takes to pick it up.

I am the MB who said that I do this-- and I am really amazed that someone would b*tch about it.
1. I call the nanny and ask her to pick up milk on the way in-- baby drank more than expected the night before and I don't want her to run out during the day-- how am I supposed to magically transport her money?

2. I am at work and nanny calls to say she needs xyz-- again-- how am I supposed to pay in advance for that?

3. She tells me they are going somewhere that day and needs money-- I don't have cash-- so I pay her back the next morning.

I give her spending money for each week and tell her to tell me when she needs more-- so if she runs out and doesn't tell me-- how is that something to complain about. I just think that ther eare so many angry bitter people who get bent out of shape about everything. It is a two way street- and I don't blink an eye when my nanny asks for salary advances for a big purchase, when she is going on vacation or something like that-- which has happened a lot-- so I suppose I would be annoyed if she were stewing about something so insignifigant.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah another MB here who would never expect our nanny to front me any money. I really think a lot of these posters are extremely bent out of shape about something that a handful of posters are claiming happens to them and are extrapolating to this large quantity of MBs who take advantage of their nannies and then turn around and fire them for one offense. I'm not saying these things don't happen, but there really is no reason to resort to inflammatory language and get all angry about something that a very few posters posted about on DCUM, which isn't even close to representing any sample of the general nanny/employer population.

This board is poison seriously. Even though I rationally know what I posted above, I honestly am more and more suspicious of nannies in general based on the absolutely asinine posts on here. I'm sure nannies feel the same way about employers based on the stories they read from other nannies.

I could not agree more. We recently moved here and were lucky to find a wonderful nanny but the more I read on DCUM the more I am concerned if we ever had to find another nanny. Logically, I know that the nannies on DCUM do not accurately represent nannies in general but there are SO many awful posts on here it makes me wonder. I also agree there are equally bad posts from MBs on here, it's not exclusive to the nannies, and I know the good nannies must be concerned too. In theory, DCUM should be a really useful forum for people to get advice but instead it seems to be a place that all the crazy people go and scare all the normal ones.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many nannies actually asked their employers to be paid early. I am in Chicago and I have never heard of such an act being done. I am not saying that there aren't any nannies out there doing it, but do you think that they are asking on weekly basis? Either way it is unprofessional on both ends no matter how many times it is being asked.

I'm the OP of that comment. I actually meant it to be an argument against the practice of MBs expecting nannies to cover expenses.
I recall a few posts from nannies asking about pay advances or accidentally charging personal items on MB's credit card. Most of the MBs were recommending firing for these offenses. These nannies were called unprofessional, unreliable and were also considered to be capable of theft.
So now we have MBs who are saying, "but it's just a gallon of milk and bread. You're being petty. You're not trying to help your poor, busy overworked boss." Why is it considered shady and unprofessional when a nanny does it yet it's "just a gallon of milk and some bread" when it comes to MBs?

There was actually only one MB who said it was ok to expect the nanny to front the money. I'm an MB and I don't think it's ok and I also don't think it's ok to ask for pay in advance. So no double standard here.

Yep, just one MB said she expected her nanny to be fine with fronting $5 for the day and that she always paid her back promptly.

Just because only one on this thread admitted to doing so does not mean that it doesn't happen ALL THE TIME. Why would the nannies here be making this up? Some of you MBs are really touchy...and have a hard time with logic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many nannies actually asked their employers to be paid early. I am in Chicago and I have never heard of such an act being done. I am not saying that there aren't any nannies out there doing it, but do you think that they are asking on weekly basis? Either way it is unprofessional on both ends no matter how many times it is being asked.

I'm the OP of that comment. I actually meant it to be an argument against the practice of MBs expecting nannies to cover expenses.
I recall a few posts from nannies asking about pay advances or accidentally charging personal items on MB's credit card. Most of the MBs were recommending firing for these offenses. These nannies were called unprofessional, unreliable and were also considered to be capable of theft.
So now we have MBs who are saying, "but it's just a gallon of milk and bread. You're being petty. You're not trying to help your poor, busy overworked boss." Why is it considered shady and unprofessional when a nanny does it yet it's "just a gallon of milk and some bread" when it comes to MBs?

There was actually only one MB who said it was ok to expect the nanny to front the money. I'm an MB and I don't think it's ok and I also don't think it's ok to ask for pay in advance. So no double standard here.

Yep, just one MB said she expected her nanny to be fine with fronting $5 for the day and that she always paid her back promptly.

Yeah another MB here who would never expect our nanny to front me any money. I really think a lot of these posters are extremely bent out of shape about something that a handful of posters are claiming happens to them and are extrapolating to this large quantity of MBs who take advantage of their nannies and then turn around and fire them for one offense. I'm not saying these things don't happen, but there really is no reason to resort to inflammatory language and get all angry about something that a very few posters posted about on DCUM, which isn't even close to representing any sample of the general nanny/employer population.

This board is poison seriously. Even though I rationally know what I posted above, I honestly am more and more suspicious of nannies in general based on the absolutely asinine posts on here. I'm sure nannies feel the same way about employers based on the stories they read from other nannies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many nannies actually asked their employers to be paid early. I am in Chicago and I have never heard of such an act being done. I am not saying that there aren't any nannies out there doing it, but do you think that they are asking on weekly basis? Either way it is unprofessional on both ends no matter how many times it is being asked.

I'm the OP of that comment. I actually meant it to be an argument against the practice of MBs expecting nannies to cover expenses.
I recall a few posts from nannies asking about pay advances or accidentally charging personal items on MB's credit card. Most of the MBs were recommending firing for these offenses. These nannies were called unprofessional, unreliable and were also considered to be capable of theft.
So now we have MBs who are saying, "but it's just a gallon of milk and bread. You're being petty. You're not trying to help your poor, busy overworked boss." Why is it considered shady and unprofessional when a nanny does it yet it's "just a gallon of milk and some bread" when it comes to MBs?

There was actually only one MB who said it was ok to expect the nanny to front the money. I'm an MB and I don't think it's ok and I also don't think it's ok to ask for pay in advance. So no double standard here.

Look,it all comes down to this. If you have a good relationship with your employers, you won't have a problem laying out a couple of bucks here and there knowing you will be repaid. If you have a bad relationship with your employers (their fault, your fault or a little of both, whatever) then every little thing they do is going to annoy you. This is just one of them. If everyone is working respectfully together towards a common goal, it can go well. If not, well, time to seek greener pastures.