Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 13:49     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
OP here, just popping in to make a few corrections.

Any online work I do is not my sex life, it's work.

Wives who get cheated on are not victims - they are not being beaten. I would never blame someone in an abusive relationship.

Being cheated on is most often caused by poor judgment in choosing who you're with or by being a rigid bitch who deep freezes and isolates their partner until they seek affection elsewhere.

Cold hard truth, blame me all you like for bringing it to the light.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 11:41     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Judgmental witches on here. The ability to care for a child has nothing to do with one's personal sexual life. There are plenty of married parents who have affairs, open marriages, s&m lifestyles, go to strip clubs together, etc. Does that make them bad and unfit parents? Not at all. By the way, I always smh when dumb broads get on people like OP and say she causes marriages to break up....no she doesn't. If your spouse cheats or checks out adult sites, he is to blame and only him. No one forced him to get on those sites. Stop placing blame on others when it should be on your shithead spouse.

I agree with you on almost every point, personal lives are just that, personal. I don't care what anyone does in their own home/bed and by no means do I think it affects their ability to provide quality care. BUT, and it's a BIG BUT, we are not talking about OPs personal life here, this is her profession. She is paid on the books for it and it is available for ANYONE on the internet. When you cross into that territory, you relinquish the right to say " it's my personal business and my employer has no place to judge me for it". No one goes into this line of work without realizing that it could affect their future professional prospects negatively.
I was a teacher, am a nanny, and am going to be a higher level health care provider. I was approached by a reputable, feminist porn company to do a video. As much as it piqued my interest ( and the money would have been really nice for this broke grad student) I said no. I could try to bury that video all I wanted, could wear a wig, could cover my tattoos, etc, it would still be out there and SOMEONE important would find it.
OP, you have made your bed, now you have to lie in it.


Who cares if someone knows? I used to be a nanny for a mom who was a stripper. She was very professional, paid on time, etc. I never looked at her as 'that whore' - which by the way she is not or op as much as people want to shame them.


Obviously OP cares if someone knows, as the whole point of her post concerned whether or not her employment choice would show up on a background check, and therefore be known to potential bosses.
There was no "slut shaming" in my post. I was simply responding to the poster who was saying that someone's personal sex life doesn't dictate their ability to care for children. Had you read my response, you would have seen that I agree with that sentiment. That is not the matter at hand here. OP has chosen to take her sex life public and now is concerned with hiding it, which she will not be able to do.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 11:36     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Judgmental witches on here. The ability to care for a child has nothing to do with one's personal sexual life. There are plenty of married parents who have affairs, open marriages, s&m lifestyles, go to strip clubs together, etc. Does that make them bad and unfit parents? Not at all. By the way, I always smh when dumb broads get on people like OP and say she causes marriages to break up....no she doesn't. If your spouse cheats or checks out adult sites, he is to blame and only him. No one forced him to get on those sites. Stop placing blame on others when it should be on your shithead spouse.

I agree with you on almost every point, personal lives are just that, personal. I don't care what anyone does in their own home/bed and by no means do I think it affects their ability to provide quality care. BUT, and it's a BIG BUT, we are not talking about OPs personal life here, this is her profession. She is paid on the books for it and it is available for ANYONE on the internet. When you cross into that territory, you relinquish the right to say " it's my personal business and my employer has no place to judge me for it". No one goes into this line of work without realizing that it could affect their future professional prospects negatively.
I was a teacher, am a nanny, and am going to be a higher level health care provider. I was approached by a reputable, feminist porn company to do a video. As much as it piqued my interest ( and the money would have been really nice for this broke grad student) I said no. I could try to bury that video all I wanted, could wear a wig, could cover my tattoos, etc, it would still be out there and SOMEONE important would find it.
OP, you have made your bed, now you have to lie in it.


Who cares if someone knows? I used to be a nanny for a mom who was a stripper. She was very professional, paid on time, etc. I never looked at her as 'that whore' - which by the way she is not or op as much as people want to shame them.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 09:57     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:Judgmental witches on here. The ability to care for a child has nothing to do with one's personal sexual life. There are plenty of married parents who have affairs, open marriages, s&m lifestyles, go to strip clubs together, etc. Does that make them bad and unfit parents? Not at all. By the way, I always smh when dumb broads get on people like OP and say she causes marriages to break up....no she doesn't. If your spouse cheats or checks out adult sites, he is to blame and only him. No one forced him to get on those sites. Stop placing blame on others when it should be on your shithead spouse.

I agree with you on almost every point, personal lives are just that, personal. I don't care what anyone does in their own home/bed and by no means do I think it affects their ability to provide quality care. BUT, and it's a BIG BUT, we are not talking about OPs personal life here, this is her profession. She is paid on the books for it and it is available for ANYONE on the internet. When you cross into that territory, you relinquish the right to say " it's my personal business and my employer has no place to judge me for it". No one goes into this line of work without realizing that it could affect their future professional prospects negatively.
I was a teacher, am a nanny, and am going to be a higher level health care provider. I was approached by a reputable, feminist porn company to do a video. As much as it piqued my interest ( and the money would have been really nice for this broke grad student) I said no. I could try to bury that video all I wanted, could wear a wig, could cover my tattoos, etc, it would still be out there and SOMEONE important would find it.
OP, you have made your bed, now you have to lie in it.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 09:56     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:Judgmental witches on here. The ability to care for a child has nothing to do with one's personal sexual life. There are plenty of married parents who have affairs, open marriages, s&m lifestyles, go to strip clubs together, etc. Does that make them bad and unfit parents? Not at all. By the way, I always smh when dumb broads get on people like OP and say she causes marriages to break up....no she doesn't. If your spouse cheats or checks out adult sites, he is to blame and only him. No one forced him to get on those sites. Stop placing blame on others when it should be on your shithead spouse.


+1. I'm an MB and agree that what you do to make extra money really doesn't have any impact of your job as a nanny. What I DO have a problem with is the way you blamed the wives for their husbands infidelities. I don't think it's your fault and I agree with the PP that it's the husbands and husbands alone who are to blame. I get that you felt attacked by some of the posters on here but it's not ok to retaliate by blaming victims (even if they attacked you first). To me, that speaks to your character and THAT'S why I wouldn't hire you. I'm sure you are great with kids but the fact that you said if a husband had a halfway decent wife at home he wouldn't be watching you is a pretty disgusting thing to say. There are lots of very decent wives who don't deserve to be cheated on.
Anonymous
Post 11/13/2013 08:34     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:OP here again, hi ho! To the PP, actually yes, it is called modeling. That's the technical term for it, probably because calling it "masturbating for men on cam work" sounds less tasteful. Besides, as I said, about half the time you don't even get naked so it really needs the broader umbrella term.

15:41, I never said I was shocked that posters got riled up. If they want to respond to my question with personal attacks and judgments on what side-work I do instead of actually answering my question, though, I don't think you can begrudge me replying honestly. If you don't want to hear my views on your insecurities regarding your marriage, don't bring the subject into my thread.

And finally, yeah, I actually kinda knew that parents wouldn't like the idea of hiring someone in the adult industry as a nanny... didn't need to read the replies to find that out. That's why I'm taking precautions to keep it hidden. I am absolutely wonderful at childcare and it would be a shame that some great kids had to miss out on having me as a nanny because their parents found out I make money in a less socially acceptable way on the side. If it comes up on a very in-depth background check, then I guess I won't get that one job, but it's good to know I should still be fine for less detailed checks. Thanks again to all who gave advice!

Keep it classy, ladies.


---Wow she's a Web cam whore
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 23:54     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Judgmental witches on here. The ability to care for a child has nothing to do with one's personal sexual life. There are plenty of married parents who have affairs, open marriages, s&m lifestyles, go to strip clubs together, etc. Does that make them bad and unfit parents? Not at all. By the way, I always smh when dumb broads get on people like OP and say she causes marriages to break up....no she doesn't. If your spouse cheats or checks out adult sites, he is to blame and only him. No one forced him to get on those sites. Stop placing blame on others when it should be on your shithead spouse.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 23:37     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
OP here again, hi ho! To the PP, actually yes, it is called modeling. That's the technical term for it, probably because calling it "masturbating for men on cam work" sounds less tasteful. Besides, as I said, about half the time you don't even get naked so it really needs the broader umbrella term.

15:41, I never said I was shocked that posters got riled up. If they want to respond to my question with personal attacks and judgments on what side-work I do instead of actually answering my question, though, I don't think you can begrudge me replying honestly. If you don't want to hear my views on your insecurities regarding your marriage, don't bring the subject into my thread.

And finally, yeah, I actually kinda knew that parents wouldn't like the idea of hiring someone in the adult industry as a nanny... didn't need to read the replies to find that out. That's why I'm taking precautions to keep it hidden. I am absolutely wonderful at childcare and it would be a shame that some great kids had to miss out on having me as a nanny because their parents found out I make money in a less socially acceptable way on the side. If it comes up on a very in-depth background check, then I guess I won't get that one job, but it's good to know I should still be fine for less detailed checks. Thanks again to all who gave advice!

Keep it classy, ladies.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 18:43     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:OP here, hey all! So I got 2, maybe 3 replies to my actual question... not bad at all for a childcare forum. Thanks a lot for that info!

Yeah, I'm thinking it may only be on the credit checks.. because I had no employer (they list you as an independent contractor) and only the company names on my paychecks came up at the tax office. One of them was fine, the other was clearly a little suspect.

To answer some concerns, of course I'm not getting arrested or doing anything illegal. I have a perfect criminal history, driving record, everything you would expect from a wholesome country girl like me.

And I definitely don't have sex with anyone buy myself on cam. Sometimes not even that. A lot of guys going online are just lonely and want someone to talk to, someone to treat them nicely and make them feel special for a while. Any wives baring their teeth at me for threatening families better take a good hard look at themselves in a mirror and make sure they're really giving their guy a partner worth being invested in. Why would a man choose to spend time with me, someone they know is at work and making good money just to connect with them, if they had at least a half decent option of the real thing in their home for free? It doesn't matter what you look like. You need to be intimately AVAILABLE to them. And most cam girls feel this way. We don't want your men, lol! (Can't say the same about most nannies.... aaahh, jk jk!)


Oh sweetie, you aren't a cam model. Call it what it is. You're masturbating for men on cam. If that's what you want to do it's your business, but don't kid yourself by calling it "modeling."
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 17:20     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:You should stick with the modeling, way better $ than childcare and you work less hours.



sad but true
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 15:41     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Completely different in fact. A healthy sex life between parents does not typically involve the exchange of cash for the act nor the dissemination of the video to the public/strangers.

I think the OP asked a specific question but now she has thrown out a few completely unnecessary and confrontational comments. You were asking a "senstive" question that was bound to get people riled up, you have to live under a rock or be literally too stupid to know better (and therefore too stupid to care for most kids) to not know that your post was goping to illicit some discussion of whether a MB/DB would want to hire a sex worker. You yourself know its a problem or you would not be worried about the background check.

And now you know definitely that if and when it comes up on a background a decent proprtion of parents will not let this slide in the hiring process.
nannydebsays
Post 11/12/2013 15:35     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
OP, I'd think that you'd be OK with surface/superficial checks, but that truly professional investigators would find out that you are in the sex business.

Frankly, in your place I'd be more worried about discovering a DB as a customer - pretty sure that would be hella awkward.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 15:14     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, hey all! So I got 2, maybe 3 replies to my actual question... not bad at all for a childcare forum. Thanks a lot for that info!

Yeah, I'm thinking it may only be on the credit checks.. because I had no employer (they list you as an independent contractor) and only the company names on my paychecks came up at the tax office. One of them was fine, the other was clearly a little suspect.

To answer some concerns, of course I'm not getting arrested or doing anything illegal. I have a perfect criminal history, driving record, everything you would expect from a wholesome country girl like me.

And I definitely don't have sex with anyone buy myself on cam. Sometimes not even that. A lot of guys going online are just lonely and want someone to talk to, someone to treat them nicely and make them feel special for a while. Any wives baring their teeth at me for threatening families better take a good hard look at themselves in a mirror and make sure they're really giving their guy a partner worth being invested in. Why would a man choose to spend time with me, someone they know is at work and making good money just to connect with them, if they had at least a half decent option of the real thing in their home for free? It doesn't matter what you look like. You need to be intimately AVAILABLE to them. And most cam girls feel this way. We don't want your men, lol! (Can't say the same about most nannies.... aaahh, jk jk!)


OK - prior MB poster here. You've definitely lost the job now.

Yuck.

I really don't think you can effectively balance a daytime of child nurturing w/ what you're articulating above. I don't buy that these mindsets can co-exist healthily.

I was on the fence before but now you've convinced me. Please stay in your webcam modelling - I don't think you should be a nanny. It definitely will not offer the gratification you so clearly seek.


So parents who have a healthy sex life and partake in many sexual activities together can't then be great parents during the daytime? It would be the same situation as what you are saying..
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 13:54     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
I went to school by working fast food and many of the women who I went to school with worked in the adult industry. They often asked me to join them at the strip club b/c I would make more money. I couldn't do it as my soul wasn't for sale but I understand it's way easier work than fast food. anyway, most of the adult industry workers who I knew were from very bad backgrounds. Because only one wasn't, I would hesitate to hire a child care provider who has worked in the adult industry.

My husband found a pic of his cousin on the internet and showed it to her. It was from college and she was playing strip poker. It can happen; you can be recognized.
Anonymous
Post 11/12/2013 13:50     Subject: Risqué job history = risky background check?
Anonymous wrote:OP here, hey all! So I got 2, maybe 3 replies to my actual question... not bad at all for a childcare forum. Thanks a lot for that info!

Yeah, I'm thinking it may only be on the credit checks.. because I had no employer (they list you as an independent contractor) and only the company names on my paychecks came up at the tax office. One of them was fine, the other was clearly a little suspect.

To answer some concerns, of course I'm not getting arrested or doing anything illegal. I have a perfect criminal history, driving record, everything you would expect from a wholesome country girl like me.

And I definitely don't have sex with anyone buy myself on cam. Sometimes not even that. A lot of guys going online are just lonely and want someone to talk to, someone to treat them nicely and make them feel special for a while. Any wives baring their teeth at me for threatening families better take a good hard look at themselves in a mirror and make sure they're really giving their guy a partner worth being invested in. Why would a man choose to spend time with me, someone they know is at work and making good money just to connect with them, if they had at least a half decent option of the real thing in their home for free? It doesn't matter what you look like. You need to be intimately AVAILABLE to them. And most cam girls feel this way. We don't want your men, lol! (Can't say the same about most nannies.... aaahh, jk jk!)


OK - prior MB poster here. You've definitely lost the job now.

Yuck.

I really don't think you can effectively balance a daytime of child nurturing w/ what you're articulating above. I don't buy that these mindsets can co-exist healthily.

I was on the fence before but now you've convinced me. Please stay in your webcam modelling - I don't think you should be a nanny. It definitely will not offer the gratification you so clearly seek.