Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

I'm sorry, I find statements like these funny. I'm a nanny and I don't really think of you as my boss. You're not better than me, you're not above me, or whatever, and you're not some hot shot CEO at a big company. I don't work for you, I work with you. We are in a mutually beneficial business relationship, you are my customer and client, and I make my own rules and set my own rates and standards. If you don't like it, you are free to do business elsewhere, as am I. I think a lot of MBs would do well to get off their "I'm the boss" high horse, stop thinking you're better than us/own us, and try to find someone you can work with, not someone who makes you feel like the boss.

I find it funny that you think being your boss necessarily makes someone better than you. That's for your therapist to sort out. I don't think even think I'm better than my cleaning woman. She sells the service and I buy it, and she performs it to my satisfaction, that's about the sum of it.

I'm no better than you, or I might be, we'll never know and we don't have a scale to measure people. I might be a CEO or not, that's not really the point. But nannies do in fact work for their parents, taking their direction, and while nannies have some autonomy within the confines of your job, that autonomy has limits and nannies do indeed work under the direction of their boss parents. Not the other way round. You can't maintain that job without keeping the parents happy. In fact, I can't think of one childcare decision where the nanny's opinion would outstrip the parents', and I can't think of one decision you'd make over the parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

No you don't.

Anonymous wrote:
You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You couldn't be mine. I actually do know for certain, thankfully.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

I'm sorry, I find statements like these funny. I'm a nanny and I don't really think of you as my boss. You're not better than me, you're not above me, or whatever, and you're not some hot shot CEO at a big company. I don't work for you, I work with you. We are in a mutually beneficial business relationship, you are my customer and client, and I make my own rules and set my own rates and standards. If you don't like it, you are free to do business elsewhere, as am I. I think a lot of MBs would do well to get off their "I'm the boss" high horse, stop thinking you're better than us/own us, and try to find someone you can work with, not someone who makes you feel like the boss.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

A good nanny won't take your bullshit and micromanaging and will drop you like a bad habit. You'll be left with people who can't find anything better. A good nanny can ALWAYS find something better.
Personally, I would see you coming from a mile away. I have amazingly accurate a**wipe detector.

I've seen some great nannies and you, nor OP, are them. I thank God I have my nanny and she is a true professional who cares for my children the way I want her too.

You have no idea. I could be your nanny for all you know.

You nannies on this board are not true professionals. You'd be working in the supermarket if it weren't for these so-called parents. LOL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

A good nanny won't take your bullshit and micromanaging and will drop you like a bad habit. You'll be left with people who can't find anything better. A good nanny can ALWAYS find something better.
Personally, I would see you coming from a mile away. I have amazingly accurate a**wipe detector.

I've seen some great nannies and you, nor OP, are them. I thank God I have my nanny and she is a true professional who cares for my children the way I want her too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I think I'm the boss. Maybe the point is that it's my house, my family, my money paying your salary, and my rules. Maybe the point is you accepted this offer from me, for this job, working for someone you've had ample opportunity to get to know. If you don't like it you're free to leave but no one forced you to accept the offer after all the time you've invested in getting to know me as a potential employer.

A good nanny won't take your bullshit and micromanaging and will drop you like a bad habit. You'll be left with people who can't find anything better. A good nanny can ALWAYS find something better.
Personally, I would see you coming from a mile away. I have amazingly accurate a**wipe detector.

It sounds like your detector is taking a day off. You signed that contract after all, didn't you. You must have thought the family would work out for you, too. I'm afraid you just aren't the know-it-all model of well-starched efficiency you think you are.

What are you talking about? What contract did I sign? Too much wine with lunch today Sweetheart?

I like that you capitalize the way you address me. That's quite proper.

The contract the OP said she signed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems to me the best and most professional nannies have a healthy balance between using their experience and expertise as well as going along with the parents' way of doing things. I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

A good and professional nanny is able to strike a balance between these two.

Thank you for saying this better then I could

Yes, this.

And a good and professional employer respects the experience and knowledge of the nanny, and finds ways to balance the nanny's opinions and recommendations with what the parents want/believe. The vast majority of the time mutual respect, common courtesy, and a shared commitment to the well-being of the child(ren) can create a solid, positive nanny/employer relationship.

Not that you'd know it from DCUM of course.

When I think about being micromanaged, I am not thinking of big deal stuff like sleep (CIO or no CIO), nutrition (have the kids try new foods vs. just give them the stuff they already eat), play, etc.

I am thinking about bosses who insist that the way they fold baby laundry is the ONLY way it can be done, or that the ONLY acceptable play date is one where all kids have one identically aged playmate, or that their way of cutting up an apple is the ONLY way to do that particular bit of food prep.

I can calmly and professionally discuss your wishes and goals WRT any child development topic out there, while offering my thoughts and opinions, but you need to be open to at least hearing what I am saying.

But if a boss starts whining about how I folded little Mabel and Horace's towels, I may be less than accepting of that issue.

Anonymous wrote:Seems to me the best and most professional nannies have a healthy balance between using their experience and expertise as well as going along with the parents' way of doing things. I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

A good and professional nanny is able to strike a balance between these two.

This. I don't always agree with my MB about how she wants things done, but I always present my reasoning for another approach in a non-accusatory, evidence-based way and ask for a chance to try it out. She always agrees, then we look at the results and go from there. Mutual respect is what this relationship is all about.

Anonymous wrote:Seems to me the best and most professional nannies have a healthy balance between using their experience and expertise as well as going along with the parents' way of doing things. I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

A good and professional nanny is able to strike a balance between these two.

Thank you for saying this better then I could

Seems to me the best and most professional nannies have a healthy balance between using their experience and expertise as well as going along with the parents' way of doing things. I don't see why it has to be one or the other.

Nanny's experience has taught her that putting baby down with cuddles and then walking away is the best way to instill a good bed time routine.

Parents rock the baby to sleep every night and baby cannot sleep if this is not done. Parents ask nanny to do this.

A good and professional nanny is able to strike a balance between these two.

You can check references all you want, there no way to know a persons true character until you use you own judgement and see for yourself. That's why I think trial periods are a good idea, with mom home observing the first week.

Anonymous wrote:Just a fun observation- So many MBs on DCUM say "I would never hire any nanny who visits DCUM. You're all entitled, rude and unprofessional." I am one of those nannies. The funny thing about it is that every single time I log into Care.com or Sittercity, I have 5 or 6 new messages from parents. I've found jobs through agencies and have to turn down interviews. Just goes to show...

I am the MB above with the two "morons", as you put it. Guess what? Got them both through two different agencies. We thoroughly checked references - that is, the names the agencies were willing to give us. That's why I don't use agencies anymore. I am not going to pay a $7K fee for attitude and grief.