Anonymous wrote:OP here: I haved talked with mb. She is going to let me leave early if she doesn't need me in the afternoon with pay.

Sounds great, OP.
Congratulations on your success.

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Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Just do what you want. I was once hired to do babycare, so I thought. As it turned out, mb hung with me and baby ALL day, EVERY day. No joke. They had a full cleaning crew, so nothing for either one of us to do, but make small talk and stare at the newborn. Even though the pay was sky high, I still left. What professional would put up with that nonsense? At the time, I wasn't prepared to be her therapist.

It's absolutely fair that that may not have been the job for you but I was responding to the statement that it was harmful to the child. How on earth is it harmful?

It was a job for a "companion", don't you think?

Again, the job may not have been for you. That is totally fair. You are always free to accept or decline a job that doesn't work for you. But how is it harmful to the child? You not liking the job is very different from the parameters of the job harming the child, which they do not.

You're arguing with an idiot, it's no use. I've tried getting answer out of her before.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Just do what you want. I was once hired to do babycare, so I thought. As it turned out, mb hung with me and baby ALL day, EVERY day. No joke. They had a full cleaning crew, so nothing for either one of us to do, but make small talk and stare at the newborn. Even though the pay was sky high, I still left. What professional would put up with that nonsense? At the time, I wasn't prepared to be her therapist.

It's absolutely fair that that may not have been the job for you but I was responding to the statement that it was harmful to the child. How on earth is it harmful?

It was a job for a "companion", don't you think?

Again, the job may not have been for you. That is totally fair. You are always free to accept or decline a job that doesn't work for you. But how is it harmful to the child? You not li
king the job is very different from the parameters of the job harming the child, which they do not.

Two adults (with nothing to do) breathing down a baby's neck on a FT basis is harmful, IMO. You may think it's a good thing and that's perfectly fine with me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since the baby is only two weeks, it seems like this will change as the baby grows a bit older, as she heals from childbirth and the baby can go longer between nursing sessions, and the toddler gets more used to the new sibling. If the job is otherwise good and you want something more long term, you need to give it a few more weeks and concentrate on forming relationships with the kids while MB is present so that they are ready to go with you when she needs to hand one off.

Just saw you've been there for three months. I will add, the addition of a new sibling is pretty traumatic for the older kid, especially toddlers, and right now he probably needs to know that his mom is still his mom, which is why he's being clingy and she's not discouraging it. It may be that in a few weeks when she and the baby are ready, she'll start handing the baby off to you and taking the toddler places one on one or vice versa (and the toddler might be easier once she's out of the house). She just had a baby and is probably nursing round the clock. Not sure what more you can expect right now.

You are probably right when you say that the toddler is even more clingy than usual because of the new baby.
He is indeed easier when his mom is not present, but I can only be out with the toddler in the morning before lunch.
We have already talked about the baby; the mom breastfeeds and does not intend to pump or use formula until at least 8-9 months
So I doubt she'll be handing me the baby any time soon.

The baby won't be nursing around the clock in a few weeks so she'll be able to hand the baby off and take a break with the toddler, or hand the toddler off and spend the day with the baby. Either way, it won't be like this forever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Just do what you want. I was once hired to do babycare, so I thought. As it turned out, mb hung with me and baby ALL day, EVERY day. No joke. They had a full cleaning crew, so nothing for either one of us to do, but make small talk and stare at the newborn. Even though the pay was sky high, I still left. What professional would put up with that nonsense? At the time, I wasn't prepared to be her therapist.

It's absolutely fair that that may not have been the job for you but I was responding to the statement that it was harmful to the child. How on earth is it harmful?

It was a job for a "companion", don't you think?

Again, the job may not have been for you. That is totally fair. You are always free to accept or decline a job that doesn't work for you. But how is it harmful to the child? You not liking the job is very different from the parameters of the job harming the child, which they do not.

OP here: I haved talked with mb. She is going to let me leave early if she doesn't need me in the afternoon with pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Just do what you want. I was once hired to do babycare, so I thought. As it turned out, mb hung with me and baby ALL day, EVERY day. No joke. They had a full cleaning crew, so nothing for either one of us to do, but make small talk and stare at the newborn. Even though the pay was sky high, I still left. What professional would put up with that nonsense? At the time, I wasn't prepared to be her therapist.

It's absolutely fair that that may not have been the job for you but I was responding to the statement that it was harmful to the child. How on earth is it harmful?

It was a job for a "companion", don't you think?

Anonymous wrote:Do puzzles and games with the toddler in the same room as the mom.

Have you asked her if there's anything else you can do?
And really, of course she isn't going anywhere! She just had a baby two weeks ago. She's still healing.

I don't know what you're asking for, OP.

Art projects, cooking/baking, play wii, read to him - all while Mom is present. I am home right now (lost my job) and I don't want to fire our AP because she's really a great person, doing a good job, it's not her fault I'm unemployed and I hope to be employed again soon and would not want to find someone new at that point. So I am around here WAY more than either she or I planned at the start. And of course, my kids love me and want me to do everything. They are a little older, but I made it a point to push back when they came to me while she was on duty. I would send them to her for help or instruction or permission. I want them to be in the habit and I want her to retain/build her authority for the future when I am hopefully back at work. It's working - they have really decreased their clinging to me and are treating her like she's the boss. It takes time. You need to gently and pleasantly insinuate yourself b/w mom and toddler to win him over and give her a break. You could also offer to watch new baby for an hour or two so mom could take toddler to the park, etc.

I am a live in and started when the baby was only 2 days old. He's two years old now. When I came here my MB took a 4 month maternity leave. I was MISERABLE. I did nothing. She didnt seem to want my help with anything and I was really resentful that I had moved 1000 miles away from home for this job and I wasn't needed. Anyway, I ended up talking to MB about it and just being honest with her. I told her I felt really awkward and out of place because they wanted me here but I had no role. Turns out she was just trying to keep her role as the primary caregiver and didnt really know how to fit me in the equation. She didnt realize. After that we came up with an actual schedule of when i would have the baby, even if it was just to let her sleep while I took him for a walk. Just talk to MB and tel her how you feel..you can come up with something that works for all of you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Just do what you want. I was once hired to do babycare, so I thought. As it turned out, mb hung with me and baby ALL day, EVERY day. No joke. They had a full cleaning crew, so nothing for either one of us to do, but make small talk and stare at the newborn. Even though the pay was sky high, I still left. What professional would put up with that nonsense? At the time, I wasn't prepared to be her therapist.

It's absolutely fair that that may not have been the job for you but I was responding to the statement that it was harmful to the child. How on earth is it harmful?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Just do what you want. I was once hired to do babycare, so I thought. As it turned out, mb hung with me and baby ALL day, EVERY day. No joke. They had a full cleaning crew, so nothing for either one of us to do, but make small talk and stare at the newborn. Even though the pay was sky high, I still left. What professional would put up with that nonsense? At the time, I wasn't prepared to be her therapist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Actually, I am genuinely confused. You can have two adults sitting in a room engaging a child or playing a game together. That is not harmful nor is it two adults sitting there just staring at a child. More importantly, I'm not sure what that has to do with your initial point that having a parent and a nanny there at the same time is harmful?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.

BINGO!
You finally got it. At least one of them is focused on something else. Whew!

Anonymous wrote:22:39, just imagine two adults who stare at you all day. Lovely, isn't it? At some point you might wonder what's wrong with them. But maybe not.

It has not been my experience that having two adults in a room with a child means they are both just sitting there staring at the child doing nothing else all day ... I really can't imagine it actually.