Anonymous wrote:I stated that AP is NOT allowed to run personal errands during work time while dragging the baby along. The only exception is if we specifically ask her to pick up milk, etc. which would be a quick errand and not hanging out at the mall for hours.

Is she going to Madison Ave?

Many aps and nannies do that.

Anonymous wrote:Thoughts about your au pair taking your 3yo shopping while on duty? Like shopping for her because she has big plans tonight. As far as I know, this is the first time she's done this. She didn't ask - my 3yo told me.

OMG, you have lots of free time

I stated that AP is NOT allowed to run personal errands during work time while dragging the baby along. The only exception is if we specifically ask her to pick up milk, etc. which would be a quick errand and not hanging out at the mall for hours.

Anonymous wrote:Funny how you expect so much from these young poorly paid foreigners who come here for a "cultural exchange".
Wake up and smell the coffee.

I thought au pairs were supposed to be treated like family. I don't get how going shopping ONE TIME is going to somehow damage little Timmy. Poor kid- he got BORED! Oh no!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But wouldn't you take your own child shopping if you needed something? I get that APs are "on the clock," but it seems silly to reprimand her for occasionally doing something you would do, too.

Except that you do these things because you don't have a paid caregiver so that your kid doesn't have to go with you.

It's like when nannies say, "but the parents let them watch tv; why can't I?" Because we have a paid caregiver who doesn't have to cook dinner while also watching the kids, that's why.

I agree that I would personally have said yes if she had asked, but I wouldn't like it otherwise. My only exception would be if she has no available time or access to a vehicle to do this shopping unless she takes him with her, in which case, the OP needs to make sure she has that personal time.

I think that some of the host families forget about something. It’s a cultural exchange, not only work. You are supposed to treat an aupair as a family member, not as a nanny. You live with her, you should give her a little bit more “freedom” that you’d give a nanny. You pay her, true, but you pay less bc it’s a cultural exchange. I understand that there are some things that an aupair shouldn’t do, but then you talk to her and she either respects it or not. As it was said - this kind of situation hasn’t happened before. Why do you make such a big deal from one situation it didn’t actually hurt anyone. The kid got a chance to play and the aupair didn’t spend there hours. As long as it’s not a bad habit, you shouldn’t make such a big deal...

Anonymous wrote:But wouldn't you take your own child shopping if you needed something? I get that APs are "on the clock," but it seems silly to reprimand her for occasionally doing something you would do, too.

Except that you do these things because you don't have a paid caregiver so that your kid doesn't have to go with you.

It's like when nannies say, "but the parents let them watch tv; why can't I?" Because we have a paid caregiver who doesn't have to cook dinner while also watching the kids, that's why.

I agree that I would personally have said yes if she had asked, but I wouldn't like it otherwise. My only exception would be if she has no available time or access to a vehicle to do this shopping unless she takes him with her, in which case, the OP needs to make sure she has that personal time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bingo to 16:50 - yes! We had one au pair who would show up to work in her pajamas and start eating breakfast. I watched for three days, then pointed out she needs to be ready to work when her hours starts. If she is able to eat when my DCs are eating, then she can do so. But if DCs finish and need to continue on with their get ready for school routine, then AP can't expect to linger over her meal, then go put on her own clothes. I am a pretty easy HM, yet we go into rematch if AP is not able to follow the basic daily routine to keep everyone on schedule in the least frenetic manner possible.

That same AP would drink Snapple, etc in front of kids, which they are not allowed to drink. She got the boot.

Wow are you serious? I could understand if the AP delayed the morning routine because she was still eating breakfast, but what’s wrong with “showing up to work” in pajamas if it doesn’t interfere with the morning routine?

Once again, don’t you have anything else to do besides dredging up a five year old thread?

Anonymous wrote:Bingo to 16:50 - yes! We had one au pair who would show up to work in her pajamas and start eating breakfast. I watched for three days, then pointed out she needs to be ready to work when her hours starts. If she is able to eat when my DCs are eating, then she can do so. But if DCs finish and need to continue on with their get ready for school routine, then AP can't expect to linger over her meal, then go put on her own clothes. I am a pretty easy HM, yet we go into rematch if AP is not able to follow the basic daily routine to keep everyone on schedule in the least frenetic manner possible.

That same AP would drink Snapple, etc in front of kids, which they are not allowed to drink. She got the boot.

Wow are you serious? I could understand if the AP delayed the morning routine because she was still eating breakfast, but what’s wrong with “showing up to work” in pajamas if it doesn’t interfere with the morning routine?

Anonymous wrote:
That same AP would drink Snapple, etc in front of kids, which they are not allowed to drink. She got the boot.

Are you serious? So any caregivers you hire can only eat/drink in front of the children whatever you've pre-approved? It isn't enough to say that adults get to eat/drink what they choose but children require XYZ in terms of nutrition? Or some other BS line like you'd use when you want a glass of wine in the evening?

While I'm not at all impressed with your description of her leisurely mornings, which is problematic, this makes me think you must be hellish to work for.