Anonymous
07/17/2013 13:46
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
Learning manners is not stressful if everyone is consistent. OP, you will see that having well-mannered children pays big dividends for them and you.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 13:42
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
Sounds like you have a couple of rude, snotty children. Their teachers must loooove them
Anonymous
07/17/2013 12:44
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you do when your son tells you, "turn on the tv"?
OP?
Seems to me your nanny is due for a $100. bonus, or whatever you can afford.
OP has retreated in shame.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 12:38
Subject: Re:Nanny has too high expectations
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous
Pp why don't you suggest she stay home with her kids rather than micromanaging her nanny? It'd be more effective. Calm requests for polite words and tones with 6 and 8 year olds is not rude nor does it warrant OPs interjections.
Because I'm not rude. You, on the other hand, are.
What part of my post was rude?
Anonymous
07/17/2013 12:02
Subject: Re:Nanny has too high expectations
Anonymous
Pp why don't you suggest she stay home with her kids rather than micromanaging her nanny? It'd be more effective. Calm requests for polite words and tones with 6 and 8 year olds is not rude nor does it warrant OPs interjections.
Because I'm not rude. You, on the other hand, are.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 12:02
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
Anonymous wrote:the op is a troll. She is a bitter Nanny.
You're the bitter one. Sorry.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 11:54
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
the op is a troll. She is a bitter Nanny.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 11:03
Subject: Re:Nanny has too high expectations
Pp why don't you suggest she stay home with her kids rather than micromanaging her nanny? It'd be more effective. Calm requests for polite words and tones with 6 and 8 year olds is not rude nor does it warrant OPs interjections.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 10:57
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
* why she says things the way she does*
Sorry. Autocorrect is irritating.
Sorry. Autocorrect is irritating.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 10:55
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
In spite of some of the rude responses you're receiving here (irony at its best from the DCUM nannies, as usual), I think they are basically correct and your nanny is doing you a service by teaching your children manners.
That said, if you have an issue as to how she is correcting your children, you need to talk to her about that. It sounds like you're at home with them. Collect specific examples of the interactions and sit her down and discuss why you don't like what she said and how you'd prefer she interact with them. Listen to her tell you why she says things they way they do and decide how to proceed. Your nanny would probably appreciate an open conversation and may be open to changing. If she doesn't, maybe you need a new nanny who will teach your child manners in a more polite way.
That said, if you have an issue as to how she is correcting your children, you need to talk to her about that. It sounds like you're at home with them. Collect specific examples of the interactions and sit her down and discuss why you don't like what she said and how you'd prefer she interact with them. Listen to her tell you why she says things they way they do and decide how to proceed. Your nanny would probably appreciate an open conversation and may be open to changing. If she doesn't, maybe you need a new nanny who will teach your child manners in a more polite way.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 10:41
Subject: Re:Nanny has too high expectations
Anonymous wrote:OP I understand your reaction. I remember my SIL constantly correcting niece and thinking "Gee I hope I don't constantly criticize and nag my children every minute". However, now that I have kids I realize that repetition to build habits is different than constantly correcting adults which would be annoying.
Young kids haven't developed the social skills to fully understand manners, tone etc. They don't really get why commanding someone to "give me crayons" is different from "please, give me the crayons". A 3 year old saying "give me the crayons" doesn't understand he is being rude, offensive, or disrespect able anymore than a 3 year old saying "please give me crayons" understand he is being polite, respectful and not offensive.
They do understand habits so always having them say please and thank you becomes a norm for them. They start to understand that the term "nice" means good or makes others feel better so they do begin to understand that asking "nicely" with please and thank you is good. Later on they will understand that just commanding someone to do something is rude and why.
While I agree with some of what you are saying, I have to disagree on the point the children don't understand differences in tone. My 2 year old charge and 3 year old nephew are both well aware of when they are asking for something nicely and when they are demanding, and it is very evident in the tone that they use.
I highly doubt OP's son is just casually telling nanny to "turn on the tv" (also not sure why he couldn't do it himself), and OP's nanny is most likely just responding to their tones...sad that it needs to be so constant and perhaps even sadder that OP can't see the difference between basic manners and formality.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 10:39
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
I have a 18 month old and he says please and thank you. If my 4 year old told me to "turn on the TV"- I would probably tell him that I would not listen to him until he said it nicely WITH a please. Is this how other parents think??? If her 6 year old came over to my house- there is no way he would get anything without a please or thank you. I have been known to take away items and throw them in the trash if my DS refuses to say thank you and has an attitude. OP-- it is called manners and I cannot believe that you have a PROBLEM with your nanny requiring them from your school aged children.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 09:59
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
I understood perfectly "attitude" adjustment.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 09:40
Subject: Re:Nanny has too high expectations
OP I understand your reaction. I remember my SIL constantly correcting niece and thinking "Gee I hope I don't constantly criticize and nag my children every minute". However, now that I have kids I realize that repetition to build habits is different than constantly correcting adults which would be annoying.
Young kids haven't developed the social skills to fully understand manners, tone etc. They don't really get why commanding someone to "give me crayons" is different from "please, give me the crayons". A 3 year old saying "give me the crayons" doesn't understand he is being rude, offensive, or disrespect able anymore than a 3 year old saying "please give me crayons" understand he is being polite, respectful and not offensive.
They do understand habits so always having them say please and thank you becomes a norm for them. They start to understand that the term "nice" means good or makes others feel better so they do begin to understand that asking "nicely" with please and thank you is good. Later on they will understand that just commanding someone to do something is rude and why.
Young kids haven't developed the social skills to fully understand manners, tone etc. They don't really get why commanding someone to "give me crayons" is different from "please, give me the crayons". A 3 year old saying "give me the crayons" doesn't understand he is being rude, offensive, or disrespect able anymore than a 3 year old saying "please give me crayons" understand he is being polite, respectful and not offensive.
They do understand habits so always having them say please and thank you becomes a norm for them. They start to understand that the term "nice" means good or makes others feel better so they do begin to understand that asking "nicely" with please and thank you is good. Later on they will understand that just commanding someone to do something is rude and why.
Anonymous
07/17/2013 09:13
Subject: Nanny has too high expectations
Anonymous wrote:Op here. She calmly says things like "talk to me nicely" or "do you have something to say?" I just feel like it is to pushy.
I honestly don't see the problem. I don't allow my charges to order me around either. I would respond the same way if one of them said, "turn on the tv". That's not an acceptable way of getting what you want. I remind them to ask nicely. Sometimes I will say, "why don't you try again?" and that's their cue to use manners.
I can't believe you have an issue with her making your 6 and 8 year old use manners. My charges have been saying please and thank you since they were 2 and learning to talk...actually, they learned to sign please and thank you before they were even able to talk!!