Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way your nanny should be taking your child over to this mom's house for playdates without your prior knowledge and permission. Tell your nanny that the mom must talk to you directly about any future playdates.

Most MBs who have serious office jobs to do, don't have time to micromanage playdates. They pay responsible (hopefully!) nannies to do that.

Nobody can possibly use a phone, or text or email during their busy "office jobs." You don't delegate your parental responsibilities.

Bringing an eight week old tiny child to daycare is delegating your parenting responsibilities. Lots of you did that.

This post is 4 years old!

Have you discussed playdates with your nanny generally? Some families are thrilled when their nanny takes the initiative to build friendships and social opportunities for their child. If you prefer to manage all of your kid's social interactions and sign off on only a currated list of approved play dates then that's fine, but it doesn't mean that this mom or your nanny are doing anything wrong. If they get along and have a similar discipline style and the kids get along then that seems like a good social opportunity for both kids. If you want to sign off first then just tell your nanny instead of inventing some nefarious plot in your head.

She has every right to poach your nanny and your nanny has every right to leave you and work for her. You do not own your nanny. She is an employee not your personal slave.

Hi sounds like you just need to have conversation with nanny I personally encourage my nanny to arrange playdates but only at my home. If you don't want nanny to arrange playdates or prefer they take place at your home just let her know. But if you don't tell her she will never know. Not sure of your benefits or pay or family situation but being nanny in past and now mom with amazing nanny, good nannies get offers all the time but if job situation is ideal they won't leave.

Not going to read all but iWill say there are moms who feel more comfortable hanging out with me than my boss which is weird to be because my boss is super relaxed.

I've been asked to nanny share or drop my family but I like them so not going to. If you start acting all paranoid it will give the nanny a reason to leave

This post is really old. Someone brought it up to +1 a PP. Not necessary at all.

I stay at home and love when a nanny and playfriend come over. I can get so much stuff and errands done then.

I don't like how you said " after the fact" she told you. What your nanny does in her free time is none of your business. You don't give her a play by play of your plans and she isn't required to either. She is a free-person and can do as she pleases outside of your home.

Anonymous wrote:Seriously get over yourself. I've made some very good "mommy" friends just by taking my charge to certain activities. We have play dates and I sometimes babysit their kids. They don't want to hang out with my MB because they don't really know her and my MB doesn't make an extra effort to get to know them. They enjoy my charge because he's a pleasant kid and good playmate for their own children. Stop complaining. Your nanny is clearly doing a good job so just get over yourself already.

+1 same. I also work for employers who trust my judgement completely and have never been involved in arranging play date because that's what they pay me to do. You sound more jealous and confused why this mother would prefer your nanny over you. Most moms assume that because you're a mom other moms are automatically going to be your friend. People are people and it's possibility that this mom has more things outside of motherhood in common with your nanny than you.

It sounds like you are jealous. And you are envious that you are not a SAHM or WAHM and you don't want your nanny to go have fun. Perhaps the other mom doesn't really like you. Perhaps the other mom and the nanny have a thing for each other. Who knows. But you shouldn't care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no way your nanny should be taking your child over to this mom's house for playdates without your prior knowledge and permission. Tell your nanny that the mom must talk to you directly about any future playdates.

+1

+1

Love hearing happy stories like these!
Thank you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only moms who should be worried about poaching, are those who are not treating the nanny fairly. Don't you think?

+1 I know of a few families in the neighborhood who would love to have me as their nanny, some have been more bold than others, but I'm happy at my job and it just serves to show me that I'm doing a great job. My MBs are kind and fair people and a joy to work for, so they have nothing to fear.

+2

I've had two families try to poach me since I started my job last August but absolutely nothing would entice me to give up my current position; my employers and their son are simply too wonderful to leave.

Anonymous wrote:The only moms who should be worried about poaching, are those who are not treating the nanny fairly. Don't you think?

+1 I know of a few families in the neighborhood who would love to have me as their nanny, some have been more bold than others, but I'm happy at my job and it just serves to show me that I'm doing a great job. My MBs are kind and fair people and a joy to work for, so they have nothing to fear.