Sorry to depress everyone.

My mom is doing great now. Obviously she wishes my bro was better -- it hurts her but she has spent so many years in pain she tries to be as happy as possible now and she does what she can for him. I'm doing great. I have a wonderful little sister who wasn't yet born when the shit went down. She just graduated college and is a teacher's assistant ( you can bet she has a lot of empathy and understanding for troubled youngsters). We aren't poor anymore either -- so that's nice. My dream is to open subsidized high quality daycares for people who can't afford good care.

I guess he was acting up so the babysitter locked him in a closet. when her husband got home he decided to teach him a lesson so he bound his hands, put him in a black trash bag, put him in the back seat of the car, drove around and told him he was going to kill him if he didn't behave better. then brought him back to the house. we picked him up shortly after and he was acting very strange, not like himself. was never himself ever again, became very violent and always acted out. four or 5 years old! this was a pastor at a church.

they had two of their own kids too! i had been over there myself on days I was off of school for holidays, I was about 11 when it happened. Nothing ever out of the ordinary -- I used to have a great time there.

Now my brother is a handsome, charming, highly intelligent and talented mid-20's felon (weed possession) who hits the girls he dates, refuses treatment, threatened my mom last christmas....just...troubled. He doesn't know where I live and my son has no uncle.

he was totally normal before the incident. spent his entire childhood after it in and out of inpatient psychiatric facilities, outpatient therapy, meds, family counseling, then the crimes started so juvie, jail, halfway houses, boys town, random facilities....and now adulthood. My mom had a nervous breakdown about 10 years after it happened, just from dealing with it. We were ostracized from our suburban community bc we had a crazy acting kid . I'm 34 now and sometimes I still think I hear screaming through background noise.



!!!!!!!!!

SO NANNIES -- DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!

FOR YOU IT IS AN ELEMENT OF YOUR JOB THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORKFORCE SUBMITS TO

FOR US MOMS IT.MEANS.THIS. SHIT.

What did they do to your brother? Beat him? Molest him?

Anonymous wrote:

It's totally irresponsible to leave your CHILD with anyone who you don't trust. Cameras are great to watch your cash and jewels. You can use it to nail the thief and recover your property.

But your child? You're to late. The damage is done by the time you find out. You have no ethical right to put your child in that kind of jeopardy just so you can enjoy your comfortable lifestyle.

Abused poster again.

We trusted our babysitter...until the day of the incident that gave my then 4 year old brother PTSD. He came home a different child.

If we would have had a tape, we could have prosecuted.

Since we didn't, SHE & HER HUSBAND ARE. STILL. OUT. THERE. He was a pastor at his church and she a SAHM supplementing their income with babysitting. My 4 year old beautiful baby brother acted up and they reacted EXTREMELY abusively. They might be babysitting still! They moved away after the incident.

The police wouldn't do anything about it because they just denied it all. (Again, times have changed.) And we were poor at the time, my mom was working her ass off and putting herself through night school so we could get out of poverty...so my mom wasn't utilizing childcare to eat bonbons and get manipedis.

So you go ahead and trust away, lady! I will be over here with my nanny cams.

It's totally irresponsible to leave your CHILD with anyone who you don't trust. Cameras are great to watch your cash and jewels. You can use it to nail the thief and recover your property.

But your child? You're to late. The damage is done by the time you find out. You have no ethical right to put your child in that kind of jeopardy just so you can enjoy your comfortable lifestyle.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you hire someone if you think she will abuse
child/ why don't you home and take care of your own kid. Also, a na.ny cam is only good in the house so what if fhe might abuse kid when outside on a walk,? You are idiots.

Abused poster again...

I would rather have someone call me an idiot than deal with what we had to deal with...

I doubt anyone hires someone thinking "she will abuse my child but, that's ok because I have a nanny camera"

We hire people after meeting with them, conducting a background check, speaking with their references and observing them interact with our child. And none of that will prevent something from happening 100%. It will only drastically reduce the likelihood. As will being out in public, out on a walk. So your argument, which you stated so elegantly, crumbles.

And what about THIS woman's background check and references? http://abclocal.go.com/wabc/story?section=news/investigators&id=9034923

"When asked if she has references, she answers, "Oh, yeah, I have excellent references."

Chilling.

Why do you hire someone if you think she will abuse uour child/ why don't you stsy home and take care of your own kid. Also, a na.ny cam is only good in the house so what if fhe might abuse kid when outside on a walk,? You are idiots.

PP here-- I should mention that my bother was assaulted in the home of his babysitter, who had excellent references and was a pillar of the community. And I was treated VERY poorly at a daycare (treatment that was accepted back then but would get the place shut down in scandal these days -- thank goddess). My bro is in hs 20's has MAJOR psychological issues to this day and our childhood was a nightmare dealing with the fallout. This shit is real, sorry if your feelings are hurt, ladies.

Obv neither of these situations fit the nannycam issue exactly but obviously I am VERY cautious about childcare. My infant son is fragile and the most important thing in my whole world.

So I employ an all of the above approach to safety.

i thought the whole point of a nanny cam was that you didn't say it is there. Except for the bathroom, there is no expectation of privacy in someone else's home.

Never heard of a person "snap" without warning. Most people are unfortunately oblivious to the warnings.

Anonymous wrote:15:51, you are an idiot for hiring someone you think will abuse your child. This is why you check references. I would not leave my child gor one second if I thought I could not trust caregiver. I imagine you go through nannies like crazy.

Of course I check references. But people snap sometimes, and everyone who abuses a child does it for the first time at SOME point.
We have had two nannies in almost 3 years.

Anonymous wrote:15:51, you are an idiot for hiring someone you think will abuse your child. This is why you check references. I would not leave my child gor one second if I thought I could not trust caregiver. I imagine you go through nannies like crazy.

Her poor child.....

15:51, you are an idiot for hiring someone you think will abuse your child. This is why you check references. I would not leave my child gor one second if I thought I could not trust caregiver. I imagine you go through nannies like crazy.

Do you need nice nanny.you can use camera just for nanny.you can lose your nice nanny.camera for safety not for nanny to be safe your child.I am nanny and I have 24 hour camera for enter to came my house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what's the harm in a nanny knowing there is a camera and being super nanny everyday? I don't see the harm in letting your nanny know.

Then they'll abuse the child where there aren't cameras.

That's not what I meant. You don't have to tell her where they are or when they are used just letting her know she will be on camera in the home. You can switch locations as you please to get the best understanding, but simply letting her know they will be used does not undermind your csi investigation. If anything then you can be cheap and get one but your nanny has no clue where and how many so she will still be on her best behavior. What is the downside to the parent in such a case? They lose the thrilling of "catching" something?

There'd be absolutely no thrill whatsoever if I found out my nanny was abusing my child. None.

So then you acknowledge, the camera is not a means of prevention. You only know she's abused your child AFTER she has done it. However telling her up front does help with prevention. Lets be honest here. If you've hired an abuser, you've hired an abuser! Camera, no camera, telling her, not telling her makes no difference. Say you don't tell her, but she's smart enough to assume you have one, and abuses outside the home anyway?? The best way to avoid such a situation is to diligently check and verify references, do a thorough background check, and get to know the woman you've hired. Hi and bye in the morning/evening is not enough.

Stop trying to convince her she's 'bad'. You can't trust people and many jobs don't tell you there are cameras so just assume they are always there. I've seen those horrific stories of loving nannies abusing or neglecting their charges when they *think* they're alone. You can check all the references, backgrounds checks you like but that doesn't guarentee anything. Also, people can be phony so 'getting to know someone' only goes so far.

I don't blame this mother for putting up a camera and I'd do the same. Alot of nannies are lazy so neglect or seeing the TV being used all day would be another concern. Many parents don't tell others that there are cameras. You can't completely trust anyone and this mother is the only voice for her children and it's bad enough that she has to work to provide for them, she wants to make sure her kids are in good hands and not just 'assume' they are.