Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my heart goes out to you. The dirty little secret is that most families simply cannot afford to outsource the raising of the children. Unfortunate, but true.

Common sense should dictate, DO NOT have children that you CANNOT AFFORD.

Get real, ladies. The vast majority of parents around here are bright enough and responsible enough to know whether they can afford an additional child. The fact that they choose not to keep escalating their nanny's pay does not mean they can't afford another child, it just means they think their nannies are already fairly compensated in view of market rates and the value they deliver. In every job, the pay scale eventually tops out and annual increases cease. If you want more pay, find a way to increase the value you deliver to the family, or, if you think you can do better elsewhere, stop spending time whining on this board and go get a new job.

Anonymous wrote:OP, my heart goes out to you. The dirty little secret is that most families simply cannot afford to outsource the raising of the children. Unfortunate, but true.

Common sense should dictate, DO NOT have children that you CANNOT AFFORD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

In no other profession would we put up with lack of salary increases, to commensurate with increased responsibilities.

What planet are you living on? DC has a huge segment of public sector and non-profit employees who, for the last several years, have put up with this and MUCH more in order to hold on to their jobs. Employees who leave are not replaced with job responsibilities and longer hours pushed off on those left behind. Government and grant funded positions are always at risk. With furloughs coming, it may still get worse before it gets better. Nannies need to live in the real world.

Oohh, please! The DC area has a huge segment of grossly over paid public sector employees who are entitled and are not really producing all that much given what they are paid

Anonymous wrote:

In no other profession would we put up with lack of salary increases, to commensurate with increased responsibilities.

What planet are you living on? DC has a huge segment of public sector and non-profit employees who, for the last several years, have put up with this and MUCH more in order to hold on to their jobs. Employees who leave are not replaced with job responsibilities and longer hours pushed off on those left behind. Government and grant funded positions are always at risk. With furloughs coming, it may still get worse before it gets better. Nannies need to live in the real world.

Anonymous wrote:If she's really a great nanny, there's probably a family who'd pay her 25. for one child. If I was OP, I'd try to keep her and cut some other expense. That's just me. I'd want to stability.

Great or not the market determines the rate and most nannies aren't worth $25/hr. Also, there are many great nannies willing to accept below $20/hr.

Good luck to you. Hope it works out for you all.

Thank you all so much! I am going to have a heart-to-heart with my nanny next week and have my fingers and toes crossed this will work out for both of us. The advice here has been really helpful, with the exception of the surprisingly disgruntled responses. I really appreciate those that took the time to write with constructive advice and I will update this thread after our discussion.

On the other hand, the nanny may opt for another family with much less work for the same hourly rate.

OP, I just read some of the nanny comments on this thread. Please do not be disheartened. A very few of the nannies on this board are generally reasonable. Most are obnoxious, manipulative, and not very bright. They are ambivalent about working as nannies and react by trying to make parents feel negligent or "cheap" for making rational decisions about how to spend their money.

On another note, do not tell your nanny that you are permanently topped out at $20 per hour. You may be willing to pay more in the future. If not, let her get you through baby's first year and worry about next year's raise next year.

OP, $20 per hour is a very good rate in this area, even for three children. You should not feel pressured into sweetening the deal with additional perks. Some nannies will always want more and more money based on years in the job, regardless of the fact that there are very few jobs that would pay them more than what they already earn. They just feel entitled to automatic annual raises. Tell the nanny that $20 is all you can afford right now, that you love her and hope she will stay, but will understand if she feels she can't. She knows your family and will be hard pressed to find a better paying job in the area (they exist but are VERY rare), so I don't think she'll be going anywhere very quickly.

OP, my heart goes out to you. The dirty little secret is that most families simply cannot afford to outsource the raising of the children. Unfortunate, but true.

Everytime someone has to defend themselves on an anonymous forum, nanny ot MB. you lnow right away they are not as womderful as they think they are.

On behalf of the approximately 7 billion population on Earth, thank you for making this huge difference in our lives. I would like to put you forward for the Nobel Peace Prize.

OP, what you are offering is fine. I think if all three children were home all day, it might be a little different, but other than summer and school breaks, she is only going to have two children most of the time.

Auto check changed "appalled" to "applaud". Definitely not applauding the unnecessary insults.

Wow, I am really applaud at how rude some of these comments are! I came here seeking honest opinions, not to look at how to cheat nannies. I pay legally, have a very fair and respectful relationship with her and am trying to understand what is appropriate for the industry, especially with our new addition. I thank everyone who answered this thread with positive intentions -- and I hope more will weigh in. But for those who have insulted me, you actually aren't doing this industry any favors. And, although it is none of your business, I have a masters degree and am underpaid for my education and experience but I work for an incredible institution making a difference in people's lives. Everything in live is a trade off, but never my kids welfare.