Nanny here. I would have said yes to a one time thing but every week ? That's a nightmare.

Your main problem is that you never learned to say no, even after 25 years of nannying. Cooking for the whole family is not ok and doing their laundry either, unless you get extra cash for it and are happy to do it.

Give your hand, they'll eat your arm.

O_o

OP, you sound like an immature brat. There's no way you have 25 years of experience. You act like a 16 year old. Yikes.

Anonymous wrote:^^ I believe this is a legitimate post - that it is not a troll post.

Her family is clearly taking full advantage of her.
The Father is delegating his parental responsibilities to the OP which is just wrong on so many levels.

OP:
You should be caring for the four kids (which is enough of a huge job!)
You should not be expected to also cook, clean the house and wash the laundry too.

And the Father needs to step up + go to the Dr. appointments.

Agreed

Anonymous wrote:This reeks of troll. Fascinating how OP's story has changed throughout the thread to make it more in her favor. The original post talked about the allergist for 3 hours, then it's turned into a weekly hospital appt for 3 hours? Original post said nothing about the other kids -- who is watching them while OP and the mom are at the allergist/hospital weekly? The dad? I thought he was completely useless according to OP? By the way, as someone who also has allergist visits, they don't take weekly 3-hour appointments. The initial visit might be that long depending on testing, but most subsequent visits are 90 minutes tops.

OP elected to cook, meal prep, and do laundry, and is now annoyed that they like her to do those extra tasks? If someone wanted to volunteer to do my laundry and cook for me, you'd better believe I'd like it to continue! You only have yourself to blame for this part, OP. You chose to take on the extra work. According to you, you've been doing this for 25 years -- this isn't your first rodeo, and you should have known what to expect.

OP here, so let me clear some things up since you think you have all the answers. First, your allergy and how it affects you will definitely be different to how said same allergy will affect someone else. The baby has extreme allergy issues that this medical visit is needed once a week every week for two months according to his mother so they can give him small doses of the things he's allergic to then keep him there for three hours minimum to make sure he doesn't have a reaction to it (it's some sort of therapy). When I initially made my post I was briefed via text until she got all the details so that's why I did not add that it'll be every week FYI. I did not see it necessary to list the amount of kids or mention them, so in answer to the bs you're spewing there are 4 kids total 7,4,2,9mths. Two oldest in school until 3 I have toddler and baby. It's full time. I offered to help the mom in those situations because she needed the help and I was not going to sit around and watch her spiral especially when her husband acts as though everything is a chore when it comes to helping her out so I did and I made it clear this is only when I can, it's not mandatory or in my contract and she was ok with that needless to say she kept asking anyway. I don't know where people like you get off assuming stuff just because it doesn't make sense to you. So we're clear I was hired to care for children only, no housekeeping, no drs appointments, that is taken care of by the parents all of this is in my contract. In answer to your other silly remark this is my first rodeo when it comes to foolishness like this. I have never experienced chaos like this all my past families stuck to the contract even if I offered to help out here and there. Also, both parents are always active and present, never have I ever experienced such toxicity in a household so Idgaf if you think it's made up or it doesn't make sense it's what's going on. If anyone's a troll it's you dear so run along and take your other friends with you.

Anonymous wrote:This reeks of troll. Fascinating how OP's story has changed throughout the thread to make it more in her favor. The original post talked about the allergist for 3 hours, then it's turned into a weekly hospital appt for 3 hours? Original post said nothing about the other kids -- who is watching them while OP and the mom are at the allergist/hospital weekly? The dad? I thought he was completely useless according to OP? By the way, as someone who also has allergist visits, they don't take weekly 3-hour appointments. The initial visit might be that long depending on testing, but most subsequent visits are 90 minutes tops.

OP elected to cook, meal prep, and do laundry, and is now annoyed that they like her to do those extra tasks? If someone wanted to volunteer to do my laundry and cook for me, you'd better believe I'd like it to continue! You only have yourself to blame for this part, OP. You chose to take on the extra work. According to you, you've been doing this for 25 years -- this isn't your first rodeo, and you should have known what to expect.

Of course you'd want it to continue because you're probably WP. The story didn't change you just want OP to be some poor oh woo is me nanny that can't stand up for herself so she said what she said. She elaborated a bit more becauce there are a bunch of judgy janices that took the time to respond some bs much like yourself.

Anonymous wrote:^^ I believe this is a legitimate post - that it is not a troll post.

Her family is clearly taking full advantage of her.
The Father is delegating his parental responsibilities to the OP which is just wrong on so many levels.

OP:
You should be caring for the four kids (which is enough of a huge job!)
You should not be expected to also cook, clean the house and wash the laundry too.

And the Father needs to step up + go to the Dr. appointments.

Did you read any of her posts? She was never expected to cook, clean the house, and do the laundry. She chose to do those extra tasks without any additional pay and is now put off by it. She just wants to be a martyr. She also never shared the ages of the other kids -- for all we know, the other 3 are in school and she sees them for one hour a day at most.

^^ I believe this is a legitimate post - that it is not a troll post.

Her family is clearly taking full advantage of her.
The Father is delegating his parental responsibilities to the OP which is just wrong on so many levels.

OP:
You should be caring for the four kids (which is enough of a huge job!)
You should not be expected to also cook, clean the house and wash the laundry too.

And the Father needs to step up + go to the Dr. appointments.

This reeks of troll. Fascinating how OP's story has changed throughout the thread to make it more in her favor. The original post talked about the allergist for 3 hours, then it's turned into a weekly hospital appt for 3 hours? Original post said nothing about the other kids -- who is watching them while OP and the mom are at the allergist/hospital weekly? The dad? I thought he was completely useless according to OP? By the way, as someone who also has allergist visits, they don't take weekly 3-hour appointments. The initial visit might be that long depending on testing, but most subsequent visits are 90 minutes tops.

OP elected to cook, meal prep, and do laundry, and is now annoyed that they like her to do those extra tasks? If someone wanted to volunteer to do my laundry and cook for me, you'd better believe I'd like it to continue! You only have yourself to blame for this part, OP. You chose to take on the extra work. According to you, you've been doing this for 25 years -- this isn't your first rodeo, and you should have known what to expect.

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny your job is to care for the kids. Yes, you can take them to doctor's appointments. Yes, you do the kids cooking, clean their rooms and play room, do their laundry and change their sheets. That is taking care of them. Not just sitting on the couch on your phone. You are lazy. You are there to take care of the kids so they can work and pay you. If they cannot work due to child care, they need to find a new nanny.

SCREAM!!! Modern day slavery. I don't do any of those things. I was hired to care for the kids, play, read, take them to the park, museums, teach not do Dr appointments and hospital visits. Op is correct that line has to be drawn because wth?? Nope no and no.

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny your job is to care for the kids. Yes, you can take them to doctor's appointments. Yes, you do the kids cooking, clean their rooms and play room, do their laundry and change their sheets. That is taking care of them. Not just sitting on the couch on your phone. You are lazy. You are there to take care of the kids so they can work and pay you. If they cannot work due to child care, they need to find a new nanny.

Reading is fundamental. She stated she helps out beyond what's in her contract so she's lazy because she said no to that outrageous request? Please make this make sense.

OP here let me elaborate a bit more. I am not a sit on the couch type of nanny like some of you assume, I have also been a nanny for well over 25 years. I also engage with the kids including baby, I teach because my degree is in education and I do everything that comes with caring for her children. I started helping her more because she is always stressed out because her husband refuses to do more to help her so now I cook dinner (not in my contract) and some other stuff around the house. I was clear when I started doing this that this isn't my job and I can only offer help when time permits, my focus are the kids. Now here we are with the baby and health issues, her new ask is I sit in the hospital for 3 hours every week for the next two months while the baby undergoes tests then hurry back home to basically play catch up with the other "nanny" duties. Her husband's response is "I can't" for everything so she depends on me to fill in where he falls short. After reading some of these responses it's clear the nanny community has changed drastically. When I started nannying many years ago the request was solely to provide care for children that means, laundry, engaging, cook for the kids, clean up their areas and also teach them. Now in 2025 the asks are insane and the pay doesn't compensate for it. A lot of the responses said "its your job do it or they should fire you." I can only imagine who's behind the keyboard typing this and it makes me sad to think that you truly believe that your nanny role spreads widely to the point where you believe that just because it involves the child it is your job which isn't always the case. I asked for advice from mainly parents out of curiosity to see if most parents think this way but suprisingly the parents that did respond agreed with my decision to decline and they explained why but the nannies on the other hand like most of their posts on here were rude. Regardless I am a superb nanny with the references and background to prove it and I know my value and worth, me declining doesn't make me a bad nanny it just means I refuse to be taken advantage of. Have a wonderful day and thank you for all the responses.

Anonymous wrote:She is asking you to help out for 3hrs during your regular shift not an everyday thing. I swear some people complain about everything.

No its not one day it's one day every week and I still have to care for her other three kids.

Anonymous wrote:So the family I work for their baby has allergies a lot of Dr appointments. His most recent one is coming up and the mom asked me to come with her to his allergist so I can sit with them for 3 hours while she works because her husband has to work. I politely declined. I did so because the responsibilities are getting more ridiculous. I started as a nanny now I cook, meal prep, do laundry, and new task Dr office visits (which I would'nt mind if it were a check up but not sit for 3 hours). I feel overwhelmed. I first wanted to offer help her out where I see can use a hand because her husband refuses to help but wow that just went from helping to it being mandatory. I guess I am just looking for some advice.

Resign from this dysfunctional family.

She is asking you to help out for 3hrs during your regular shift not an everyday thing. I swear some people complain about everything.

Anonymous wrote:As a nanny your job is to care for the kids. Yes, you can take them to doctor's appointments. Yes, you do the kids cooking, clean their rooms and play room, do their laundry and change their sheets. That is taking care of them. Not just sitting on the couch on your phone. You are lazy. You are there to take care of the kids so they can work and pay you. If they cannot work due to child care, they need to find a new nanny.

I disagree completely.

I am a Nanny & strictly provide childcare ONLY.

I am in charge of of the three E’s:

• Engage

• Entertain

• Educate

I do not have to cook, clean, do the laundry nor change anyone’s bedsheets.
That is where the housekeeper comes in……