Anonymous wrote:It's unclear how the summer temp Nanny knew your pay rate for your permanent Nanny? but in any case, it is none of her business. She accepted an offer and was paid. Don't worry about what your neighbor thinks.

BTW, your neighbor is in violation of the DOL Fair Labor Standards Act. I recommend that all families (hiring any kind of household workers) familiarize themselves with labor laws pertaining to household workers ie: ALL Nannies must be paid an hourly rate not less than minimum wage + Overtime rate (1 1/2 times hourly rate) for all hours over 40 in one 7 day work week, etc. Technically, your neighbor is paying well below the DC minimum wage of $16.10 per hr.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let it be a lesson for the temp nanny in advocating for herself and keeping up on the current market. Be prepared if she leaves her current position as she now knows that she is being vastly underpaid. I do think you should have offered your regular rate to the temp nanny initially because I would have expected them to talk. However, because the temp nanny agreed to the lower rate, I don't think you have to retroactively change it or anything drastic.

But the temp doesn’t even drive so she wasn’t able to do half the stuff our regular nanny does. Plus we paid her more than she’s getting currently

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd let it be a lesson for the temp nanny in advocating for herself and keeping up on the current market. Be prepared if she leaves her current position as she now knows that she is being vastly underpaid. I do think you should have offered your regular rate to the temp nanny initially because I would have expected them to talk. However, because the temp nanny agreed to the lower rate, I don't think you have to retroactively change it or anything drastic.

But the temp doesn’t even drive so she wasn’t able to do half the stuff our regular nanny does. Plus we paid her more than she’s getting currently

Anonymous wrote:We have had the same nanny for 8 years. As the kids have grown up she’s morphed into more of a home manager/driver/cook. She is very valuable to our family and we now pay her $30/hour. We needed help while she was off this summer and our neighbor was looking for work for her live-in housekeeper. I spoke to the neighbor and she said they pay this woman $700/week for 50+ hours to cook and clean. We paid the lady $20/hour which she was happy with, and she did a good job though she doesn’t drive and her English isn’t great. Then our nanny came back and I think was pissed that we had someone else in the house, somehow she told the housekeeper about her $30/hr rate. The housekeeper sent me a text saying that she feels that we should have paid her $30/hr too and that we took advantage of her. WWYD? I’m pissed because we paid the lady what we both agreed to, but I’m also embarrassed as I don’t want our neighbor to think we didn’t appreciate using her housekeeper.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is actually quite odd to me. Usually, people with many years of experience are upset that newbies with no experience come in and are paid the same or more, because it makes them feel like the employer doesn't value their experience and skill, and sees them as interchangeable with any other cog fresh out of college. I can understand advocating for everyone else to make a decent living wage, but is that base really $30/hour where you live?

I would do 3 separate 1:1 conversations. With the nanny, explain that you are paying her $30 because of the long history, and her experience not just in general but specifically with your family is valuable in a way that would be impossible to replace. I would not put any pressure on her not to disclose her rate to others in the future; I'm not even sure that's legal and you don't know, it's possible the housekeeper put her in an awkward situation or somehow got a look at her paycheck. With the housekeeper, be polite, thank her for her work, and don't push back against her feelings, but say that it would be unfair to change an agreed-upon rate after the fact (she would want the same protection too, if you somehow found out she was babysitting other kids for less money and wanted to lower her rate retroactively). With the neighbor, emphasize how much you appreciated the arrangement and extra help, be tactful and not too detailed in describing the disagreement with the housekeeper and say what your thought process / rationale was, be apologetic about any awkwardness you may have caused, and say you will try to prevent any similar misunderstanding in the future. If I were you, I probably wouldn't ask for that housekeeper's help again, but you don't need to be explicit about it or say that to anyone in anger.

In the future, I would also say that if you don't want your employees to talk among themselves and base salary expectations off what the other's making, you shouldn't ask another employer (your neighbor) what they're paying your employee either. Discuss pay with each person directly based on the exact circumstances of the job and the people involved.

Do you think it’s possible to ask an employee not to discuss their compensation? That’s what I wanted to do but DH they’re all going to talk either way so we can’t really influence it. We do have a full employment agreement with our nanny which includes her compensation and a confidentiality agreement that both of us should adhere to

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is your nanny being messy?! I would quietly replace her with someone else

Agree. I'm assuming your nanny was "off this summer" by her choice, right? Why would she be mad that you had to hire a temporary replacement? She is trouble.

It could have been more that she was mad that the other temp person was paid such a low rate. The only information we have is what the OP has said. We do not know the other side. She says she was mad and yes, she very well could have been and that it was noticable. OP might have gotten the reason she was mad wrong though.

Domestic workers often advocate for others in similar jobs as us and stick up for them getting paid higher/fair rates. If I paid my current nanny $30/hr, I'd pay any kind of temp a minimum of $25/hr even with them not driving etc.

OP - I think our nanny is concerned we’re going to replace her with this lowest cost option. Which is nuts but that’s the only reason I can come up with that she would have said it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is actually quite odd to me. Usually, people with many years of experience are upset that newbies with no experience come in and are paid the same or more, because it makes them feel like the employer doesn't value their experience and skill, and sees them as interchangeable with any other cog fresh out of college. I can understand advocating for everyone else to make a decent living wage, but is that base really $30/hour where you live?

I would do 3 separate 1:1 conversations. With the nanny, explain that you are paying her $30 because of the long history, and her experience not just in general but specifically with your family is valuable in a way that would be impossible to replace. I would not put any pressure on her not to disclose her rate to others in the future; I'm not even sure that's legal and you don't know, it's possible the housekeeper put her in an awkward situation or somehow got a look at her paycheck. With the housekeeper, be polite, thank her for her work, and don't push back against her feelings, but say that it would be unfair to change an agreed-upon rate after the fact (she would want the same protection too, if you somehow found out she was babysitting other kids for less money and wanted to lower her rate retroactively). With the neighbor, emphasize how much you appreciated the arrangement and extra help, be tactful and not too detailed in describing the disagreement with the housekeeper and say what your thought process / rationale was, be apologetic about any awkwardness you may have caused, and say you will try to prevent any similar misunderstanding in the future. If I were you, I probably wouldn't ask for that housekeeper's help again, but you don't need to be explicit about it or say that to anyone in anger.

In the future, I would also say that if you don't want your employees to talk among themselves and base salary expectations off what the other's making, you shouldn't ask another employer (your neighbor) what they're paying your employee either. Discuss pay with each person directly based on the exact circumstances of the job and the people involved.

Do you think it’s possible to ask an employee not to discuss their compensation? That’s what I wanted to do but DH they’re all going to talk either way so we can’t really influence it. We do have a full employment agreement with our nanny which includes her compensation and a confidentiality agreement that both of us should adhere to

Anonymous wrote:Hi Op, I'm not a mom but I'm a nanny. Just wanted to share my experience with some similar experience. Some weeks ago, in summer, my family was taking vacacion for 21 weeks; besides my vacations and of course, I was paid while my family was away. They have a neighbor who was looking for someone; bcs their nanny was taking 1 week of vacation and needed someone only for 1 week and I was all available and I was happy to cover and get extra money.

My family connected me with this family; talked to them and decide to help. Believe me, I never cared about asking how much they will pay me. We never talked about it when we meet. As I just wanted to take advantage of those free days and why not, make extra money.

When it was my last day, Friday. They just Thank me so much for such a great week and told me they loved my 5 days of work and really enjoyed having me around with their kids. bcs I have lots of experience working with multiples; for me, it was really easy handling only 1 toddler and 1 kindergarten kid. I was like a fish in the sea, since the very first day. Note: I was doing my own routine and I had the freedom to work that week in an independent way. Note: I was driving with them to the pool, libraries, play grounds nearby etc.

At the end of the day of friday; they just ask me "So how much do you charge, what is your rate? And I said: "Well... it's funny, we never talked about it, but you can just pay me the same rate that you pay to your Nanny; that rate would be great, so what do you think?". And they said "Yes, of course, we will be happy to pay the same, we really enjoy having you this week. Your work was great". Believe me, they paid me pretty well. They pay was great.

So don't worry OP, I think you did great. You paid her what you both agreed since the beginning; you had an agreement and she was happy to this. As I think she was not able to do the typical routine and all activities that probably your long term nanny usually does. On the other hand, sorry to think this; but I do think she is being underpaid with the other family working 50 hours for $700, with chuldcare, cleaning and cooking, but she is happy there as she agreed to get paid like that with her family. I also think you long-term Nanny made a big mistake. If I was her, in her position, I would never have told her how much my family usually pay me or asked her how much my family paid to her to cover those weeks.

I'm sorry about how you must feel, but I think that's not your fault. She was agreed with the pay when both of you had this conversation and she had her chance to tell you if she desired a higher rate. But she was happy and agreed of what you would paid to her and she accepted. If I was this nanny I would feel bad asking you for the rest of my pay; since I would know I didn't perform the typical activities as your nanny does. Good luck OP.