Anonymous
Post 08/12/2024 08:49     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
OP, you are the problem allowing such an absurd deal. You have no boundaries. You need to bring this back to reality of rematch.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2024 02:11     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
For food, we order groceries through Walmart Plus app so they’re delivered to the house. We ask her what she wants and she tells us. Ingredients for pasta, salads, snacks, etc. Her grocery expense is probably $100 for the month. However, we eat out a lot, Uber Eats 2-3 times/week. So we’ll add in whatever she wants for lunch or dinner. Typically a pasta entree or chicken sandwich etc. So her eating out expense is usually $50/week on us.
$300 total for food for the month.

Gas $100 month we are covering. Any additional gas costs is her expense. We are already responsible for car maintenance, servicing, insurance, extra miles on the car, wear and tear, depreciation, etc.

A gas budget will also prevent Au Pairs from having a heavy foot and speeding. We also have vehicle GPS trackers by LandAirSea SilverCloud, tracker was $200 and $25 monthly subscription. You can buy it on Amazon.
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2022 12:37     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:We’ve left the program, but we have an aupair credit card that is tied to a checking account. We added $500/mo and that covered whatever extra she wanted in terms of food and her gas. She did drive the kids, but it was always locally and the gas usage was marginal. All of our APs seemed happy with this arrangement. They were able to shop for all their won “special food” or just eat what we had at home and use the extra money for more flexibility in social activities.


Assuming she always used the $500/month, that adds up to $6k per year. Agree with the PP - that’s beyond generous! Hope you got a stellar AP out of the deal! Did you also give a bonus? $6k is a great bonus already…
Anonymous
Post 09/21/2022 09:52     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:We’ve left the program, but we have an aupair credit card that is tied to a checking account. We added $500/mo and that covered whatever extra she wanted in terms of food and her gas. She did drive the kids, but it was always locally and the gas usage was marginal. All of our APs seemed happy with this arrangement. They were able to shop for all their won “special food” or just eat what we had at home and use the extra money for more flexibility in social activities.


That is beyond generous. I cover everything my AP needs (gas, household items, phone bill, multiple streaming and music subscriptions, additional groceries she adds on the shopping list for herself) so she doesn't have to pay anything out of her pocket for living. She can and should use her stipend on the extras she wants. I rather give a nice big bonus to an outstanding unicorn AP than making it part of the perk package. It is easy to offer more down the road based on the performance.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 23:05     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
We’ve left the program, but we have an aupair credit card that is tied to a checking account. We added $500/mo and that covered whatever extra she wanted in terms of food and her gas. She did drive the kids, but it was always locally and the gas usage was marginal. All of our APs seemed happy with this arrangement. They were able to shop for all their won “special food” or just eat what we had at home and use the extra money for more flexibility in social activities.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2022 14:19     Subject: Re:How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Have been in the program more than 10 years. Never rematched. Still Close to all except one.

While the offer was always open, they did not eat with us most nights. We tried to make Sunday night the special
Night and they worked for the most part.

When kids were young, AP just wanted to get the heck out of there. Don’t blame them. Now that I have teenagers, my current AP does stick around more
But also goes to work out etc.

Re money. No. I never gave them extra money. I do tell them to add items to the grocery list. None abused it though one did want special almond milk etc. it did add up but I sucked it up. If they wants fancy steaks or similar that would have been different.

My APs now grocery shop for us often and I don’t ever check and trust them.

Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 21:10     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:I thought au pairs have dinner and eat with the family every day


They can, but they don't have to eat with the family. You can mandate that they sit with the family and help with the kids, but then you have to count it towards hours.
Anonymous
Post 08/05/2022 08:13     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
I thought au pairs have dinner and eat with the family every day
Anonymous
Post 08/04/2022 19:10     Subject: Re:How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:APs can definitely get entitled as many of us learn as we go. We initially started with bring our AP to the store with her list but soon found that she did not stick to the list. We therefore changed things up and started going without her but asking her for her list. That was much better but once my husband asked her to buy something she needed and give us her receipt then all of a sudden she starts buying things and leaving the recipe on the counter. I quickly stopped that. And for gas we used to just let her use the cars but it got to a point were we always got it back empty so we made it clear that if she goes long distance she needs to put gas in. She was caught by surprise and said that her AP friends get gas cards and don’t have to pay for even to travel long distance. I told her that we are not wealthy and can’t afford the extra cost. After that she drives less and drives with her AP friends with wealthy HF who give them gas cards. I do admire those families who have manuals but the is the first time we are doing it so it’s a learning experience.


Sounds like she has been coached in the ways to bank extra money from her host family. Gift cards at the grocery store or getting $5-$10 cash back when buying groceries or things for the kids. Using the gas card to buy food as well as gas and giving the receipt to the family. Not filling up the gas tank. You name it, they figure it out.
The sad part is that it just breaks trust when the majority of the time, we would have given our aupair whatever extra she needed. Once she started scamming, generosity was over.
Anonymous
Post 08/04/2022 13:28     Subject: Re:How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Wow. Do you look at the receipts carefully? You do know that a trick some au pairs use is they buy gift certificates at the grocery store for whatever they want because all the host parents see is that they spent money at the grocery store and assume it's for groceries?

I'd also question what the au pair actually consumes. There are wild stories about au pairs taking raw meat and other groceries from the host family fridge when leaving to spend the whole weekend at their boyfriend's house. You could be feeding more than just your au pair.

Don't be afraid of rematch, which is what the au pair may threaten. Your au pair is abusing your trust and money.
Anonymous
Post 08/03/2022 15:06     Subject: Re:How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
APs can definitely get entitled as many of us learn as we go. We initially started with bring our AP to the store with her list but soon found that she did not stick to the list. We therefore changed things up and started going without her but asking her for her list. That was much better but once my husband asked her to buy something she needed and give us her receipt then all of a sudden she starts buying things and leaving the recipe on the counter. I quickly stopped that. And for gas we used to just let her use the cars but it got to a point were we always got it back empty so we made it clear that if she goes long distance she needs to put gas in. She was caught by surprise and said that her AP friends get gas cards and don’t have to pay for even to travel long distance. I told her that we are not wealthy and can’t afford the extra cost. After that she drives less and drives with her AP friends with wealthy HF who give them gas cards. I do admire those families who have manuals but the is the first time we are doing it so it’s a learning experience.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2022 09:21     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I pay her $200/week in spending money already on top of providing her room (worth a ton in nyc) and board (access to everything she wants in our kitchen, I cook dinner most nights and include her in meal planning, pay for takeout if we get it as a family and order what she wants). I do ask her if she wants anything at the store if I’m going or if I’m doing an order, and occasionally she’ll ask for a couple of things, but generally she is happy with what we have. Ive hosted for 7 years and never heard of that kind of entitled. Shut it down now.


So you giving her 395 a month?


?? She’s paid 200/week approximately 4 weeks per month so $800 (though we actually pay $250/wk).
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2022 09:02     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:I pay her $200/week in spending money already on top of providing her room (worth a ton in nyc) and board (access to everything she wants in our kitchen, I cook dinner most nights and include her in meal planning, pay for takeout if we get it as a family and order what she wants). I do ask her if she wants anything at the store if I’m going or if I’m doing an order, and occasionally she’ll ask for a couple of things, but generally she is happy with what we have. Ive hosted for 7 years and never heard of that kind of entitled. Shut it down now.


So you giving her 395 a month?
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2022 07:21     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
I pay her $200/week in spending money already on top of providing her room (worth a ton in nyc) and board (access to everything she wants in our kitchen, I cook dinner most nights and include her in meal planning, pay for takeout if we get it as a family and order what she wants). I do ask her if she wants anything at the store if I’m going or if I’m doing an order, and occasionally she’ll ask for a couple of things, but generally she is happy with what we have. Ive hosted for 7 years and never heard of that kind of entitled. Shut it down now.
Anonymous
Post 07/18/2022 21:34     Subject: How much do you pay for AP food and gas?
Anonymous wrote:She thinks you are fancy rich. I’m sure she’s bragging about this to her aupair friends.
If you aren’t fancy rich and can’t cover her ridiculous bills, don’t.
We provide “room and board” but we aren’t required to provide Tastefully appointed Airbnb’s and dining out with lattes every morning. Sit down with her and your LCC (if needed) and explain you can’t continue because it’s beyond the spirit of the aupair program (this is the nebulous reason used when the real reason is usually a “wtf, no.”) and you need her to try eating with your family or you will provide a small stipend for her to use. Offer $40/week but leave room to wiggle.

At the heart of this, it’s an exchange program not a work study. They are supposed to be integrated with a family to leave culture/foods/family life in exchange for childcare.


Exactly this! Don't tell me you don't like the food when that's what we shared with you before coming. When I was in Peace Corps, trust me, I did not get entitled about food!