It's clear that many people responding here don't have childcare experience before becoming parents. When you live with a child and spend 50+ hours a week with that child for a child's entire life, it is psychologically harmful to the child for a caregiver to just disappear. Why don't parents acknowledge their own insecurities and feelings of threat from (good, responsible, long-term) caregivers? It has always been baffling to me that someone thinks acknowledging the bond a child has with a caregiver threatens a bond a child has with his/her parents. Why do some parents routinely revert to the "it's just a job" attitude when it's so clear that caregiving is so much more than that?

It sounds like OP effectively parented this child when no one else would. This situation is much more common than we would like to admit (albeit in the extreme). Love for a child is a powerful thing, and it can be used to manipulate both sides (parents and caregivers).

Anonymous wrote:Dear Super Nanny!!!

You are the real shero!!! Being a nanny is not stocking lipstick in isle 5. There is no amount of money for your love and care as a human. Ignore the trolls who are petty and cowardly. I feel sorry for you and your little friend. I don’t have a solution. Reading your TRUTH was inspiring and I know this dirty diaper work situation. Talking about it is the truth and healing. Thank you for being a real shero…. and sharing your story. I wish you knew other kind nannies like me… to help and support you better. What happened to you is real, unkind and unfair. These are BAD people. I hope you continue to be your best self and success comes your way.

You stayed when you shouldn’t have, that’s what you should be angry about. You can’t control how others respond

Dear Super Nanny!!!

You are the real shero!!! Being a nanny is not stocking lipstick in isle 5. There is no amount of money for your love and care as a human. Ignore the trolls who are petty and cowardly. I feel sorry for you and your little friend. I don’t have a solution. Reading your TRUTH was inspiring and I know this dirty diaper work situation. Talking about it is the truth and healing. Thank you for being a real shero…. and sharing your story. I wish you knew other kind nannies like me… to help and support you better. What happened to you is real, unkind and unfair. These are BAD people. I hope you continue to be your best self and success comes your way.

Know that you provided that little girl with an example of love and nurturing. She will always remember your kindness and love. Think of her and try your best to move on. You may also want to try counseling — the pandemic has been and continues to be, rough and you experienced verbal abuse and were a witness to domestic violence. Your former employers know it. That is why they are being cruel — they are embarrassed and don’t want you to disclose their dysfunction. So they are being strange with you — keep away from them. The girl can reach out to you. Stay away from the mom if you can and limit your interactions to discussions about the girl. She may try to suck you back into this dynamic because you already know how bad it can get and won’t run away.

op do not feel obligated to check on the little girl
and don't let the posters who tell you you should make you feel obligaated.

Anonymous wrote:

creatyvenanny wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I hope you can see that poor child from time to time. You sound like the only stability in her life.

Find a new job. Child is not your responsibility.

You sound like a bitter nanny that lacks empathy.

This sounds like a realistic person and not OP living in some fantasy world. At the end of the day it’s a JOB a damn JOB you’re not family Rhodes aren’t your kids it’s a JOB move on

Omg people like you make me sick, you’re hiding behind a keyboard thinking your nasty response was needed and it shows how cruel some Nannie’s can be. It’s not about being “family” it’s about genuinely caring and loving what you do that’s why it weighs on OP that much. Maybe if half of you childcare providers actually cared more about the kids than your cell phones maybe parents will be a little bit more trusting to the Nannie’s that deserve it.

Nannies is the word you are looking for. You are not helping OP's case with your response though.

+1
too many employers that will take advantage of well-meaning workers like OP.
As pp said, no one should ever stay in a toxic work environment. Especially in a private space like someone's home.
Enmeshment between employers and employees is never a good thing.

creatyvenanny wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I hope you can see that poor child from time to time. You sound like the only stability in her life.

Find a new job. Child is not your responsibility.

You sound like a bitter nanny that lacks empathy.

This sounds like a realistic person and not OP living in some fantasy world. At the end of the day it’s a JOB a damn JOB you’re not family Rhodes aren’t your kids it’s a JOB move on

Omg people like you make me sick, you’re hiding behind a keyboard thinking your nasty response was needed and it shows how cruel some Nannie’s can be. It’s not about being “family” it’s about genuinely caring and loving what you do that’s why it weighs on OP that much. Maybe if half of you childcare providers actually cared more about the kids than your cell phones maybe parents will be a little bit more trusting to the Nannie’s that deserve it.

Nannies is the word you are looking for. You are not helping OP's case with your response though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I hope you can see that poor child from time to time. You sound like the only stability in her life.

Find a new job. Child is not your responsibility.

You sound like a bitter nanny that lacks empathy.

This sounds like a realistic person and not OP living in some fantasy world. At the end of the day it’s a JOB a damn JOB you’re not family Rhodes aren’t your kids it’s a JOB move on

Omg people like you make me sick, you’re hiding behind a keyboard thinking your nasty response was needed and it shows how cruel some Nannie’s can be. It’s not about being “family” it’s about genuinely caring and loving what you do that’s why it weighs on OP that much. Maybe if half of you childcare providers actually cared more about the kids than your cell phones maybe parents will be a little bit more trusting to the Nannie’s that deserve it.

Terrible. They should have given you a huge severance payout and asked you to sign a non-disclosure!!

The child will be forever grateful to you, even if she's not able to express it, please know that!

You sound like a kind person and I hope good things for your future.

Tell her you’ll write the reference letter yourself — I’m sure she’ll be fine with it since work is so busy and all…

They can and should be humiliated by how they behaved with someone else in their home and they're probably are worried the information will "get out" which is why they weren't warmer to you when you left. Just a theory but who knows. Sad situation all around.

OP, I would have called the police the first time it happened after moving in, I would have told the police that the child was possibly in an unsafe environment, and then I would have quit while the police were there. If they behave that way in front of you, imagine how they behave when no one else is around except for their child....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry, OP. I hope you can see that poor child from time to time. You sound like the only stability in her life.

Find a new job. Child is not your responsibility.

You sound like a bitter nanny that lacks empathy.

This sounds like a realistic person and not OP living in some fantasy world. At the end of the day it’s a JOB a damn JOB you’re not family Rhodes aren’t your kids it’s a JOB move on