Anonymous
05/19/2021 23:48
Subject: Re:Toddler and baby
Look, guys... all us experienced nannies know the babies learn best not from "special' attention though it is of course needed throughout the day, but by watching older siblings being engaged in something "interesting". That easily achieved by having the baby in close proximity with older sibling whenever possible. The older child will watch the baby being fed/diapered and will learn lots as well, and will bond with the baby. Just do things that are natural and make sense. That's not to say that 2-3 half days at preschool are not indicated but having 3 yr old and a baby at home full-time is also fine.
To the nanny whose 2,5 old stopped napping, and baby only takes 25 min naps - sorry but you don't seem to be doing your job very well! Read about sleep training. And 2,5 old should still be napping.
To the nanny whose 2,5 old stopped napping, and baby only takes 25 min naps - sorry but you don't seem to be doing your job very well! Read about sleep training. And 2,5 old should still be napping.
Anonymous
04/22/2021 17:06
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Parents who are willing to accept the realities of adjusting to caring for a newborn and an older child are going to learn from experience that no one person can provide perfect care for any child. Not even on a 1:1 basis. So a nanny caring for 2 children isn’t going to work 12 hours straight without using the bathroom or eating so that she can make sure each child gets nothing but solo attention by manipulating naps.
Here are a few things to consider:
Good in-home care is considered best for all children 3 and under.
Sending all older siblings to daycare once baby comes is a good way to breed resentment of baby in your older child. 2 or 3 half days? Sure. Establish “big kid school” before baby arrives so older sibling doesn’t feel shoved out to make room for baby.
Children learn best through play. No need for lessons and performative learning all day long. Play. Play with an adult nearby who interacts and talks about numbers/letters/colors/shapes/dinosaurs/whatever the older child is interested in discussing. No need for elaborate crafts focused on product instead of process. Crayons, paper, and encouragement do just fine. Play outside. Figure out when the best time is to go out so nobody overheats or gets too cold. READ. Read a lot of different books. Listen to music.
Nannies with experience know how to manage multiple children of different ages. I cared for 3 under 5 for almost 3 years. All of the children managed to graduate from an academically stringent high school, and I know that I never drilled them as toddlers on letters and numbers. We played, read books, got outside, listened to music, and I interacted with them, encouraged them to ask questions, think for themselves, and praised their curious natures.
this. THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!
Play - children learn through PLAY - and it looks like... digging in the sandbox and making "cake" for an hour... baking cookies in the kitchen... running, jumping, climbing and swinging.... painting anything they want on paper - over and over and over. with different types of paintbrushes, and different colored paint. playing with legos, magnatiles, dolls, trucks, little people, ramps, blocks, dress ups, pretending, etc. and singing, dancing and listening to music. and hearing books read to them and paging through books themselves. And, singing and doing fingerplays that are fun and also teach rhyming, rhythm, phonemes, and other pre-literacy skills
And the more numbers/counting, letters and letter sounds, colors and shapes that you incorporate into play, the easier it is in preschool and kindergarten. Play don’t mean just unstructured play.
Anonymous
04/22/2021 13:55
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Parents who are willing to accept the realities of adjusting to caring for a newborn and an older child are going to learn from experience that no one person can provide perfect care for any child. Not even on a 1:1 basis. So a nanny caring for 2 children isn’t going to work 12 hours straight without using the bathroom or eating so that she can make sure each child gets nothing but solo attention by manipulating naps.
Here are a few things to consider:
Good in-home care is considered best for all children 3 and under.
Sending all older siblings to daycare once baby comes is a good way to breed resentment of baby in your older child. 2 or 3 half days? Sure. Establish “big kid school” before baby arrives so older sibling doesn’t feel shoved out to make room for baby.
Children learn best through play. No need for lessons and performative learning all day long. Play. Play with an adult nearby who interacts and talks about numbers/letters/colors/shapes/dinosaurs/whatever the older child is interested in discussing. No need for elaborate crafts focused on product instead of process. Crayons, paper, and encouragement do just fine. Play outside. Figure out when the best time is to go out so nobody overheats or gets too cold. READ. Read a lot of different books. Listen to music.
Nannies with experience know how to manage multiple children of different ages. I cared for 3 under 5 for almost 3 years. All of the children managed to graduate from an academically stringent high school, and I know that I never drilled them as toddlers on letters and numbers. We played, read books, got outside, listened to music, and I interacted with them, encouraged them to ask questions, think for themselves, and praised their curious natures.
this. THIS, THIS, THIS!!!!
Play - children learn through PLAY - and it looks like... digging in the sandbox and making "cake" for an hour... baking cookies in the kitchen... running, jumping, climbing and swinging.... painting anything they want on paper - over and over and over. with different types of paintbrushes, and different colored paint. playing with legos, magnatiles, dolls, trucks, little people, ramps, blocks, dress ups, pretending, etc. and singing, dancing and listening to music. and hearing books read to them and paging through books themselves. And, singing and doing fingerplays that are fun and also teach rhyming, rhythm, phonemes, and other pre-literacy skills
Anonymous
04/17/2021 15:36
Subject: Toddler and baby
Of course it’s doable.
But you need to have open communication with your nanny. Some days will be tough some will be great. And in reality you’d be on maternity leave for the first few months and you both can work together on getting a good routine set.
As the parent you also need to know that raising a 2nd or 3rd or more is not like the first. While with the first there’s the worry of sleeping in the crib and all that. Siblings will need to have most naps on the go (especially when on two or three naps). Hopefully by the time you go back to work you can have baby on 2 good naps and a short cat nap in the evening. The second nap hopefully at the same time as older child’s nap/quiet time. Get a carrier for your nanny one she’s comfy in. What’s comfy for you may not be for her. And if nanny has any “chores” see what can be just moved to later or higher a housekeeper
Expectations for everyone will need to change. Sit down with a clear plan for each person and know that flexibility is key. In the blink of an eye it’s gone and peace is back. Be a team you and spouse and nanny. If you’re not already a team with open communication- start now!!!
But you need to have open communication with your nanny. Some days will be tough some will be great. And in reality you’d be on maternity leave for the first few months and you both can work together on getting a good routine set.
As the parent you also need to know that raising a 2nd or 3rd or more is not like the first. While with the first there’s the worry of sleeping in the crib and all that. Siblings will need to have most naps on the go (especially when on two or three naps). Hopefully by the time you go back to work you can have baby on 2 good naps and a short cat nap in the evening. The second nap hopefully at the same time as older child’s nap/quiet time. Get a carrier for your nanny one she’s comfy in. What’s comfy for you may not be for her. And if nanny has any “chores” see what can be just moved to later or higher a housekeeper
Expectations for everyone will need to change. Sit down with a clear plan for each person and know that flexibility is key. In the blink of an eye it’s gone and peace is back. Be a team you and spouse and nanny. If you’re not already a team with open communication- start now!!!
Anonymous
04/15/2021 16:32
Subject: Toddler and baby
In this situation we sent our 3-year old to full-day preschool and had the nanny focus her energies on the baby.
Anonymous
04/06/2021 17:57
Subject: Toddler and baby
Parents who are willing to accept the realities of adjusting to caring for a newborn and an older child are going to learn from experience that no one person can provide perfect care for any child. Not even on a 1:1 basis. So a nanny caring for 2 children isn’t going to work 12 hours straight without using the bathroom or eating so that she can make sure each child gets nothing but solo attention by manipulating naps.
Here are a few things to consider:
Good in-home care is considered best for all children 3 and under.
Sending all older siblings to daycare once baby comes is a good way to breed resentment of baby in your older child. 2 or 3 half days? Sure. Establish “big kid school” before baby arrives so older sibling doesn’t feel shoved out to make room for baby.
Children learn best through play. No need for lessons and performative learning all day long. Play. Play with an adult nearby who interacts and talks about numbers/letters/colors/shapes/dinosaurs/whatever the older child is interested in discussing. No need for elaborate crafts focused on product instead of process. Crayons, paper, and encouragement do just fine. Play outside. Figure out when the best time is to go out so nobody overheats or gets too cold. READ. Read a lot of different books. Listen to music.
Nannies with experience know how to manage multiple children of different ages. I cared for 3 under 5 for almost 3 years. All of the children managed to graduate from an academically stringent high school, and I know that I never drilled them as toddlers on letters and numbers. We played, read books, got outside, listened to music, and I interacted with them, encouraged them to ask questions, think for themselves, and praised their curious natures.
Here are a few things to consider:
Good in-home care is considered best for all children 3 and under.
Sending all older siblings to daycare once baby comes is a good way to breed resentment of baby in your older child. 2 or 3 half days? Sure. Establish “big kid school” before baby arrives so older sibling doesn’t feel shoved out to make room for baby.
Children learn best through play. No need for lessons and performative learning all day long. Play. Play with an adult nearby who interacts and talks about numbers/letters/colors/shapes/dinosaurs/whatever the older child is interested in discussing. No need for elaborate crafts focused on product instead of process. Crayons, paper, and encouragement do just fine. Play outside. Figure out when the best time is to go out so nobody overheats or gets too cold. READ. Read a lot of different books. Listen to music.
Nannies with experience know how to manage multiple children of different ages. I cared for 3 under 5 for almost 3 years. All of the children managed to graduate from an academically stringent high school, and I know that I never drilled them as toddlers on letters and numbers. We played, read books, got outside, listened to music, and I interacted with them, encouraged them to ask questions, think for themselves, and praised their curious natures.
Anonymous
04/05/2021 20:58
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!
We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.
Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.
Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.
And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...
True (and I do) but it’s not enough time to engage either (especially the baby).
Yes, of course, it’s doable and I’ve been doing it but it’s not the level of engagement I’m happy with. I feel like a babysitter when I have both kids and not a nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping them both safe and alive.
Wait, if you don't feel that you have enough time to engage the baby, why is the baby watching you engage the toddler?! The toddler is awake for longer, more predictable periods. Therefore, the toddler can play while you engage the baby, then you are 1-1 with the toddler once the baby sleeps again.
I'm sorry, but if you feel like you can't adequately handle both, then maybe you should look for families who are one and done. We each have our niche, and it sounds like you've found yours.
Maybe. Maybe I’m just not cut out to being a nanny to a toddler and an infant. This is my first time with two kids in ten years after teaching preschool for nearly 15 years. I love these kids so much and just want to do my best with them. Maybe I should leave.
You’ll get there, PP. Don’t be so hard on yourself. If you love the kids it’s worth it to stay through what is nothing more than a transition. You actually sound like a fantastic nanny!
Anonymous
04/05/2021 20:19
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!
We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.
Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.
Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.
And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...
True (and I do) but it’s not enough time to engage either (especially the baby).
Yes, of course, it’s doable and I’ve been doing it but it’s not the level of engagement I’m happy with. I feel like a babysitter when I have both kids and not a nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping them both safe and alive.
Wait, if you don't feel that you have enough time to engage the baby, why is the baby watching you engage the toddler?! The toddler is awake for longer, more predictable periods. Therefore, the toddler can play while you engage the baby, then you are 1-1 with the toddler once the baby sleeps again.
I'm sorry, but if you feel like you can't adequately handle both, then maybe you should look for families who are one and done. We each have our niche, and it sounds like you've found yours.
Maybe. Maybe I’m just not cut out to being a nanny to a toddler and an infant. This is my first time with two kids in ten years after teaching preschool for nearly 15 years. I love these kids so much and just want to do my best with them. Maybe I should leave.
If you have experience with up to 15 preschoolers, look for a family with twins! You’re used to the same age cohort, not managing different ages and maximizing the opportunities for both.
Otoh, if you really like the family, stick around and try to work out a flexible routine for the toddler. Ime, the best way to manage those ages is to teach the toddler (quickly!) that when the baby sleeps, your undivided attention is on them, but that when the baby is awake you need to pay attention to the baby; some older siblings prefer solo play while others prefer to “help” with the baby.
Anonymous
04/03/2021 14:18
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!
We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.
Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.
Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.
And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...
True (and I do) but it’s not enough time to engage either (especially the baby).
Yes, of course, it’s doable and I’ve been doing it but it’s not the level of engagement I’m happy with. I feel like a babysitter when I have both kids and not a nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping them both safe and alive.
Wait, if you don't feel that you have enough time to engage the baby, why is the baby watching you engage the toddler?! The toddler is awake for longer, more predictable periods. Therefore, the toddler can play while you engage the baby, then you are 1-1 with the toddler once the baby sleeps again.
I'm sorry, but if you feel like you can't adequately handle both, then maybe you should look for families who are one and done. We each have our niche, and it sounds like you've found yours.
Maybe. Maybe I’m just not cut out to being a nanny to a toddler and an infant. This is my first time with two kids in ten years after teaching preschool for nearly 15 years. I love these kids so much and just want to do my best with them. Maybe I should leave.
Anonymous
04/02/2021 22:41
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!
We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.
Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.
Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.
And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...
True (and I do) but it’s not enough time to engage either (especially the baby).
Yes, of course, it’s doable and I’ve been doing it but it’s not the level of engagement I’m happy with. I feel like a babysitter when I have both kids and not a nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping them both safe and alive.
Wait, if you don't feel that you have enough time to engage the baby, why is the baby watching you engage the toddler?! The toddler is awake for longer, more predictable periods. Therefore, the toddler can play while you engage the baby, then you are 1-1 with the toddler once the baby sleeps again.
I'm sorry, but if you feel like you can't adequately handle both, then maybe you should look for families who are one and done. We each have our niche, and it sounds like you've found yours.
Anonymous
04/02/2021 18:11
Subject: Toddler and baby
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Of course a nanny can watch two children! That's their job!
We did not send our kids to preschool until they were four - the year before kindergarten, but our nanny took them out every day to play and socialize, and they took classes around the city too. Of course people here whose kids started preschool at 2 or are preschool teachers will say to start your older one in school immediately. Just do not start your older one in school right when the baby comes - he will feel like you're getting rid of him to spend more time with the new, better baby.
Most babies can learn to sleep on the go - in a wrap or a stroller. Some can't, but a nanny can handle that too.
Agree but “watch” and “teach” are two very different things.
And it's possible to have the toddler play while the baby is awake, then teach the toddler when the baby sleeps...
True (and I do) but it’s not enough time to engage either (especially the baby).
Yes, of course, it’s doable and I’ve been doing it but it’s not the level of engagement I’m happy with. I feel like a babysitter when I have both kids and not a nanny. Sometimes I feel like I’m just keeping them both safe and alive.
Parents feel this way, too.