Anonymous
03/08/2021 11:36
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been with us about 1.5 years. She has another 6 months left. She is OK, not great. Today she came to us telling us she is thinking of re-matching to find a family that will "sponsor" her for a student visa. We told her we could not "sponsor" as technically it is illegal to pay someone on a student visa, plus we need full-time help. She says several of her friends have found new host families that are willing do this. This upsets me a lot since, if she follows through with it, it will leave us without an au pair and with the task of finding a new one during a tough time to find au pairs. I know it will greatly upset our kids since they love her. I feel a bit betrayed that she would consider leaving us to find a family willing to sponsor her. How would you react? I understand she is thinking about her future (her home country is a wreck right now) but also feel like she is putting her self-interest ahead of her commitment to our family.
I highly doubt that families are sponsoring someone on a student visa because I don't know any who are doing this but I have heard of former APs on a student visa looking for nanny work. Sorry you are going through this but your AP is placing false hope on a future new host family who can in the end renege on their agreement without consequence so GL to her.
Your AP sounds like my AP and I found a daycare spot for my DD and immediately started the rematch process. The stress was not worth it for us.
Anonymous
03/07/2021 12:48
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Find new childcare now, whether that is rematch with another AP, or finding daycare, or whatever.
She needs to be gone. She wants to do something illegal.
If you find out that she was able to help her do this illegal activity, you should report both of them (her and the new family.)
What? It's not illegal. What is illegal about getting a family to sponsor your education visa? That's bonkers.
Very common. Not illegal. If you really like your au pair, you can put a ton of money on the line for her/him. If you don't, she will find a family who will. I wouldn't do it unless I really liked our aupair, but families do it because they want childcare.
International students are not allowed to work, so a family has to attest that there will be no childcare exchange.
I would report a family who did this.
Anonymous
03/07/2021 07:21
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Find new childcare now, whether that is rematch with another AP, or finding daycare, or whatever.
She needs to be gone. She wants to do something illegal.
If you find out that she was able to help her do this illegal activity, you should report both of them (her and the new family.)
What? It's not illegal. What is illegal about getting a family to sponsor your education visa? That's bonkers.
Very common. Not illegal. If you really like your au pair, you can put a ton of money on the line for her/him. If you don't, she will find a family who will. I wouldn't do it unless I really liked our aupair, but families do it because they want childcare.
International students are not allowed to work, so a family has to attest that there will be no childcare exchange.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 13:09
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Find new childcare now, whether that is rematch with another AP, or finding daycare, or whatever.
She needs to be gone. She wants to do something illegal.
If you find out that she was able to help her do this illegal activity, you should report both of them (her and the new family.)
What? It's not illegal. What is illegal about getting a family to sponsor your education visa? That's bonkers.
Very common. Not illegal. If you really like your au pair, you can put a ton of money on the line for her/him. If you don't, she will find a family who will. I wouldn't do it unless I really liked our aupair, but families do it because they want childcare.
it is not legal if they are working for you.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 12:44
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:To 11:34 - that is VERY generous of you to sponsor her without asking her to do any child care. Kudos - no snark here! I think most HF are expecting some "light" childcare in exchange for the sponsor ship.
I don't really "expect" anything, but I do think she will end up helping out from time to time. My kids are all older (in school in normal life) and she loves helping with bedtime etc., so she'd probably continue doing that in "exchange" for her room and board, but I'm not going to make it contingent. She's such a pleasure to have in our family and we really do consider her a member of the family.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 12:20
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Find new childcare now, whether that is rematch with another AP, or finding daycare, or whatever.
She needs to be gone. She wants to do something illegal.
If you find out that she was able to help her do this illegal activity, you should report both of them (her and the new family.)
What? It's not illegal. What is illegal about getting a family to sponsor your education visa? That's bonkers.
Very common. Not illegal. If you really like your au pair, you can put a ton of money on the line for her/him. If you don't, she will find a family who will. I wouldn't do it unless I really liked our aupair, but families do it because they want childcare.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 11:41
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
To 11:34 - that is VERY generous of you to sponsor her without asking her to do any child care. Kudos - no snark here! I think most HF are expecting some "light" childcare in exchange for the sponsor ship.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 11:34
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:To those considering sponsoring someone, keep in mind you will have to attest in writing that the student will not work while studying. Suspect this DC audience may be sensitive to the possibility of this coming back to haunt during security clearance process.
We aren't in DC (and don't expect to ever need security clearance), also, we don't plan to have her work if she's a student.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 11:26
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:You could rematch now and start looking for a new AP. You need to think of your future as well. Take control of the situation so you are not left blindsided and forced to live with somebody that you resent.
(only of course if your current situation allows for this)
This, tell her you completely understand and respect her choice but are not in a position to sponsor her. Tell her you'll go into rematch and that way you both can get your needs met.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 11:23
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
To those considering sponsoring someone, keep in mind you will have to attest in writing that the student will not work while studying. Suspect this DC audience may be sensitive to the possibility of this coming back to haunt during security clearance process.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 10:49
Subject: Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
We love our au pair and want to sponsee her to stay, because she really wants to stay here. We are looking into it but it’s a *long* and involved process, not something a family is going to do for an ap they’ve just met.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 09:46
Subject: Re:Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Op I would prepare yourself for her to leave but not because someone is willing to sponser her for a student visa. It is an incredibly lengthy process to convert to a student visa. There are only specific classes that meet the requirements and they are very costly (20,000) and hard to get into.
I believe some HF do sponsor au pairs for a student visa but this is generally after years when they want to keep the AP in the family but cannot extend them.
I also know one HM who had been promising to sponsor her fantastic au pair - until she realized how much time it would take and how much it would cost.
I would warn your AP that she can't rely on the HF to follow through because it can take 6 months - a year during covid times.
In the meantime, start to think of a backup... Is there a pod, learning hub, nanny option? We found a great camp for our kids and it took away all of the stress of worrying about what our flaky AP was going to do.
I believe some HF do sponsor au pairs for a student visa but this is generally after years when they want to keep the AP in the family but cannot extend them.
I also know one HM who had been promising to sponsor her fantastic au pair - until she realized how much time it would take and how much it would cost.
I would warn your AP that she can't rely on the HF to follow through because it can take 6 months - a year during covid times.
In the meantime, start to think of a backup... Is there a pod, learning hub, nanny option? We found a great camp for our kids and it took away all of the stress of worrying about what our flaky AP was going to do.
Anonymous
03/04/2021 07:59
Subject: Re:Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think it is more likely that she is looking for a host family that is willing to house her illegally after her au pair term is up while she pursues studies and/or just works for them. Before we started hosting au pairs, we had a full time nanny and it was very difficult to find a good and reliable person in DC who was willing and able to be paid legally. It was also outrageously expensive. So I think there are a lot of families out there who are willing take the risk.
It’s absurdly easy. Just go through a nanny agency.
Yea....I did not find It hard to find a nanny. We didn't even use an agency. We used care.com.
Yes, it is expensive. Cost $22/hr, plus taxes, plus Healthcare, plus overtime when applicable.
AuPairs are cheap live in childcare. You get what you pay for. Personally we didn't need an nanny when our kids were older so the substandard experience with an AuPair was fine. We just required a driver and someone who could read a calendar and arrive on time.
Anonymous
03/03/2021 22:45
Subject: Re:Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:I think it is more likely that she is looking for a host family that is willing to house her illegally after her au pair term is up while she pursues studies and/or just works for them. Before we started hosting au pairs, we had a full time nanny and it was very difficult to find a good and reliable person in DC who was willing and able to be paid legally. It was also outrageously expensive. So I think there are a lot of families out there who are willing take the risk.
I think the insanely expensive part is so true!!!
Who can afford a DC many service ( white house nannies?). And you can't flexible care which is needed for many jobs ( physician speaking here).
Anonymous
03/03/2021 18:21
Subject: Re:Au Pair wants to find a family that will "sponsor" her
Anonymous wrote:Let the LCC and agency know that it’s her plan when you rematch.
Do they even care? A host mom threatened to call ICE on an aupair and LCC did not care.