your husband is gross and disrespectful and this is harassment. have him put a robe on.

My dad used to come out to the living room at night wearing just underwear sometimes when we were watching tv. It made me embarrassed as a young teen/adult woman even though we were his kids and it was his house. I never said anything but I remembered this and always make sure DH either has a robe on when venturing out of our room with just underwear on. It can also be embarrassing for young women to have an older male walking around without a shirt on, fyi.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear - the AP has never expressed she is uncomfortable. She has a good relationship with him. I can only assume it is embarrassing for her as well. I don't mean to defend his actions but it is not predatory behavior- just not realizing that a man in his boxers is not something a young girl wants or needs to see.

I appreciate all of the responses - I completely agree it as to stop and will explain to him why it is a bigger deal then he understands.

We've hosted for a long time and have really great relationships with all of our previous au pairs so I promise we aren't monsters. Thanks to everyone for weighting in.

Your original post said: "She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it!"

Soooo....troll post? Cool. Cool.

No, not a troll post. He told me it was embarrassing for both of them. She has said nothing. I was just trying to clarify that she hadn’t complained to me or the LCC. That would of course make it much worse if we ignored it. In any case, I will be purchasing a robe tonight.

Good and I would have your husband read this thread in case he doesn’t feel like wearing the robe.

+1

He needs to read this and wear a robe or sweats.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear - the AP has never expressed she is uncomfortable. She has a good relationship with him. I can only assume it is embarrassing for her as well. I don't mean to defend his actions but it is not predatory behavior- just not realizing that a man in his boxers is not something a young girl wants or needs to see.

I appreciate all of the responses - I completely agree it as to stop and will explain to him why it is a bigger deal then he understands.

We've hosted for a long time and have really great relationships with all of our previous au pairs so I promise we aren't monsters. Thanks to everyone for weighting in.

Your original post said: "She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it!"

Soooo....troll post? Cool. Cool.

No, not a troll post. He told me it was embarrassing for both of them. She has said nothing. I was just trying to clarify that she hadn’t complained to me or the LCC. That would of course make it much worse if we ignored it. In any case, I will be purchasing a robe tonight.

Good and I would have your husband read this thread in case he doesn’t feel like wearing the robe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear - the AP has never expressed she is uncomfortable. She has a good relationship with him. I can only assume it is embarrassing for her as well. I don't mean to defend his actions but it is not predatory behavior- just not realizing that a man in his boxers is not something a young girl wants or needs to see.

I appreciate all of the responses - I completely agree it as to stop and will explain to him why it is a bigger deal then he understands.

We've hosted for a long time and have really great relationships with all of our previous au pairs so I promise we aren't monsters. Thanks to everyone for weighting in.

Your original post said: "She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it!"

Soooo....troll post? Cool. Cool.

No, not a troll post. He told me it was embarrassing for both of them. She has said nothing. I was just trying to clarify that she hadn’t complained to me or the LCC. That would of course make it much worse if we ignored it. In any case, I will be purchasing a robe tonight.

Anonymous wrote:To be clear - the AP has never expressed she is uncomfortable. She has a good relationship with him. I can only assume it is embarrassing for her as well. I don't mean to defend his actions but it is not predatory behavior- just not realizing that a man in his boxers is not something a young girl wants or needs to see.

I appreciate all of the responses - I completely agree it as to stop and will explain to him why it is a bigger deal then he understands.

We've hosted for a long time and have really great relationships with all of our previous au pairs so I promise we aren't monsters. Thanks to everyone for weighting in.

Your original post said: "She is clearly embarrassed and he is as well but will not stop doing it!"

Soooo....troll post? Cool. Cool.

To be clear - the AP has never expressed she is uncomfortable. She has a good relationship with him. I can only assume it is embarrassing for her as well. I don't mean to defend his actions but it is not predatory behavior- just not realizing that a man in his boxers is not something a young girl wants or needs to see.

I appreciate all of the responses - I completely agree it as to stop and will explain to him why it is a bigger deal then he understands.

We've hosted for a long time and have really great relationships with all of our previous au pairs so I promise we aren't monsters. Thanks to everyone for weighting in.

He is wrong. Put on shorts.

What a perve! An adult man can put on an effing robe. He's not a child.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it is just plain inappropriate. The AP could complain to the LCC, but she is either too intimidated or otherwise finds your family acceptable.

If your AP states that she asked for it to rectified or that she expressed how uncomfortable she was, but it didn’t change? That’s not on. Do you want to be out of the program? There are more APs than families right now... I know 5 families offhand that would be happy to take her, without an interview, and all would e willing to guarantee clothes anything they left their bedroom.

OP, it is just plain inappropriate. The AP could complain to the LCC, but she is either too intimidated or otherwise finds your family acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so confused OP. You're making it sound like this is a constant thing, but then you claim it is just a couple of times a year?

Well I guess he constantly walks around in his boxers but her AP is lucky enough that she only bumped into him a couple of times a year (as far as she is aware).

I'm so confused OP. You're making it sound like this is a constant thing, but then you claim it is just a couple of times a year?

I think I would ask your husband how comfortable he would be if your daughter went away as an AP aged 18 or whatever and she had to walk in on the father of the family in his underwear and expressed she felt uncomfortable but the dad dismissed it and felt it was his right and no big deal.

Seriously, OP, why are you tolerating your husband purposefully making a young woman uncomfortable? How would you feel if you were your AP and had to deal with a boss like your husband? Do the right thing and tell your husband that a one off is an accident but it happening several times because he can't be arsed is absolutely not on and quite outrageous and that you are starting to question why a grown man hates wearing pants so much he is willing to risk exposing himself to young women in his care.

If you aren’t getting through to him, think how angry you would be if your poor AP kept accidentally bumping into your husband outside the bathroom while only wearing her bra and panties.

Now use that anger to make it crystal clear to your husband that he needs to have on clothes when he goes to and from the bathroom Every. Single. Time.

After all, that’s what you both expect from your AP, right?