We got an additional umbrella insurance policy for more coverage at our house.

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it will help or hurt but MIL physically can't help. She can't lift or carry or change or chase. She can get a glass of milk or bring over a premade plate. So the risk of interference is low. Yes. She can see and be will be "around" but we are clear and she understands that nanny is 100% in charge and does not want or need help.

Kids might ask her to be read a book to them when she is sitting in her special chair but they would not go to her to undermine nanny directions - it isn't the dynamic in the house because of her physical limitations.

Does that make it less annoying?

That sounds more doable. Is she physically care able of going out by herself with the eldest? Even if they just go for a drive, it’ll give the eldest some time away from the younger two and it’ll make it clear that she’s willing to be helpful rather than just cataloguing things the nanny the nanny does”wrong.” Like PP, I’ve worked with some grandparents without issue; others were making lists mentally or on paper, am.do not only dd I feel uncomfortable in the moment, then I had to defend every action to the parents later (including why I put a child’s shoes on before their coat ).

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if it will help or hurt but MIL physically can't help. She can't lift or carry or change or chase. She can get a glass of milk or bring over a premade plate. So the risk of interference is low. Yes. She can see and be will be "around" but we are clear and she understands that nanny is 100% in charge and does not want or need help.

Kids might ask her to be read a book to them when she is sitting in her special chair but they would not go to her to undermine nanny directions - it isn't the dynamic in the house because of her physical limitations.

Does that make it less annoying?

Please don’t worry about it, OP. You sound like a good conscientious employer and will find a great nanny. Just be upfront about everything.

Not sure if it will help or hurt but MIL physically can't help. She can't lift or carry or change or chase. She can get a glass of milk or bring over a premade plate. So the risk of interference is low. Yes. She can see and be will be "around" but we are clear and she understands that nanny is 100% in charge and does not want or need help.

Kids might ask her to be read a book to them when she is sitting in her special chair but they would not go to her to undermine nanny directions - it isn't the dynamic in the house because of her physical limitations.

Does that make it less annoying?

Anonymous wrote:Only a fool is going to take a job with a live-in MIL.

Not necessarily. My employers mother lives with them and she is a great help and wonderful company for me. Out of my last three nanny positions, there has only been one set of grandmother’s who were nightmares.

OP, it’s best if your MIL is in on the interviews and the nanny-candidates are clear on her role.

Only a fool is going to take a job with a live-in MIL.

OP here. I am fully aware that we will need to find the right person and that there are many things that make us not the normal family that a nanny might want to pick. I think we have other great qualities and hope that we will find someone.

I also know that I am not crazy and have managed people before without being a lunatic. I am not asking for nanny to do anything other than watch kids (no laundry, dog walking, dishes in sink job creep,). I want to pay legitimately and legal and not try to skirt the rules. Our kids are cute and nice and we are nice people.

We also have more flexibility for days off, as I am a teacher. So, more times we can offer as days off than other families. Again there are cards stacked against us but things in our favor.

Just trying to figure out if we can swing it cost wise and did not want to leave out any "hidden" cost of employment.

Newborn
Toddler (was hospitalized at 1 month, likely not special needs)
First grader (Bringing in germs)
MIL (home all the time, high risk)

You are opening the bubble by sending your child to school. Either find a live-in nanny who will agree to extreme social distancing and homeschooling your first grader, or just allow some short trips for toddler, first grader and nanny (have made keep the baby at home for 1-3 hours, since she’s there).