Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

I would be SOOOOO pissed! How did that conversation go??

Us: you said you were going to buy a few things we didn’t have at home but looks like you went with your friends for some photo ops. Not ok.
Her: oh, well, they are staying home too! Except seeing their boyfriends
Us: not ok. Three friends? That’s a lot of exposure!
Her: why?

Yea, we did not even get into it. It was a text to her, a text to the LCC, and a we're done. In the 5 days she was waiting on rematch it was made clear to her by both us and the LCC that one more stunt like that would result in her needing to check into a hotel o her dime

Wow, you are disgusting.

why? she could have sent her to a hotel that day but she let her stay another 5 days!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

I would be SOOOOO pissed! How did that conversation go??

Us: you said you were going to buy a few things we didn’t have at home but looks like you went with your friends for some photo ops. Not ok.
Her: oh, well, they are staying home too! Except seeing their boyfriends
Us: not ok. Three friends? That’s a lot of exposure!
Her: why?

Yea, we did not even get into it. It was a text to her, a text to the LCC, and a we're done. In the 5 days she was waiting on rematch it was made clear to her by both us and the LCC that one more stunt like that would result in her needing to check into a hotel o her dime

Wow, you are disgusting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

I would be SOOOOO pissed! How did that conversation go??

Us: you said you were going to buy a few things we didn’t have at home but looks like you went with your friends for some photo ops. Not ok.
Her: oh, well, they are staying home too! Except seeing their boyfriends
Us: not ok. Three friends? That’s a lot of exposure!
Her: why?

Yea, we did not even get into it. It was a text to her, a text to the LCC, and a we're done. In the 5 days she was waiting on rematch it was made clear to her by both us and the LCC that one more stunt like that would result in her needing to check into a hotel o her dime

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

I would be SOOOOO pissed! How did that conversation go??

Us: you said you were going to buy a few things we didn’t have at home but looks like you went with your friends for some photo ops. Not ok.
Her: oh, well, they are staying home too! Except seeing their boyfriends
Us: not ok. Three friends? And their boyfriends?! That’s a lot of exposure!
Her: why?

Added another piece of concern.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

I would be SOOOOO pissed! How did that conversation go??

Us: you said you were going to buy a few things we didn’t have at home but looks like you went with your friends for some photo ops. Not ok.
Her: oh, well, they are staying home too! Except seeing their boyfriends
Us: not ok. Three friends? That’s a lot of exposure!
Her: why?

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

Our AP did something similar, but it involved going to see the cherry blossoms with friends. It resulted in immediate rematch, so quickly I did it over text. Luckily there are many desperate families out there, she matched within days and no references were called. Good riddance.

It is really wonderful not having to feed another mouth. I have the kids in a great daily routine and there is not a day that goes by that we are not grateful to no longer be hosting.

Anonymous wrote:We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

I would be SOOOOO pissed! How did that conversation go??

We had a similar situation and talked to our AP. With 4 months left she decided she’d rather just go home. She got her travel arranged but there was about a 10 day wait. We expressed that we wanted her to stay home and she promised she would. Then she borrowed the car to go to the Asian food market and the next day on Facebook I saw she was posing with 3 friends at some local landmarks. We were extremely pissed, she didn’t seem to get it at all. I’m so glad she’s gone so we don’t have to basically lock her at home to make her understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, our AP is coughing this morning. And was coughing a bit last night.

Honestly that alone was enough to make me think “what are doing?!?” with keeping what’s effectively an unnecessary extra vector around. Sounds really cold, but at the same time I think about how we deal with continuing to manage protecting our family when she’s going to want to take as more liberal approach to social distancing.

No idea what we do for childcare over the summer though, but we’d be halfway in that position anyway - she leaves part way though summer no matter what.

If your AP is sick with Corona or even just a cough you won’t be able to rematch/send her home now. At this Stage, if she is sick, the safest place will be at your home because it means you already likely all have been exposed to it and obviously as per medical/national advice, she needs to stay put. If she has it by the time she would be safe to travel she would have had the virus and have built up immunity to it so would actually be the safest person in your household then, so there would be no point rematching.


But yes, it’s pretty awful you are willing to abandon a young woman who is sick in an unknown country in the middle of a pandemic knowing she won’t currently be allowed to fly home.

OP here. I don’t think she’s actually sick, and especially with coronavirus, because we have been doing pretty extreme social distancing. I obviously wouldn’t kick her out while sick. What I should have said differently: her coughing made me think more about the fact that any extra person in the home is an extra chance at viral transmission, unless that person literally goes NOWHERE and is in contact with NOONE. Right now that may be the case but it won’t be the instant our state lifts its shelter in place order. So while she might be “safe” today, if the order is lifted next week and she begins even minimal social interaction, it’s just another opportunity for virus to enter our home.

And we just don’t NEED care at this point, but we continue to pay for it and house her and feed her and pay phone and insurance expenses. We never would have brought on an au pair if we expected to have two adults home at all times. It’s just an entirely changed dynamic. Our state is starting to roll out predictions for longer term and I see at least 7-8 more weeks of parents at home. Until summer at minimum. And then, she’ll leave before summer is even over anyway (plus she will be trying to squeeze in all of her deferred travel).

I just don’t think it makes sense anymore under current conditions.

Anonymous wrote:Well, our AP is coughing this morning. And was coughing a bit last night.

Honestly that alone was enough to make me think “what are doing?!?” with keeping what’s effectively an unnecessary extra vector around. Sounds really cold, but at the same time I think about how we deal with continuing to manage protecting our family when she’s going to want to take as more liberal approach to social distancing.

No idea what we do for childcare over the summer though, but we’d be halfway in that position anyway - she leaves part way though summer no matter what.

If your AP is sick with Corona or even just a cough you won’t be able to rematch/send her home now. At this Stage, if she is sick, the safest place will be at your home because it means you already likely all have been exposed to it and obviously as per medical/national advice, she needs to stay put. If she has it by the time she would be safe to travel she would have had the virus and have built up immunity to it so would actually be the safest person in your household then, so there would be no point rematching.


But yes, it’s pretty awful you are willing to abandon a young woman who is sick in an unknown country in the middle of a pandemic knowing she won’t currently be allowed to fly home.

Well, our AP is coughing this morning. And was coughing a bit last night.

Honestly that alone was enough to make me think “what are doing?!?” with keeping what’s effectively an unnecessary extra vector around. Sounds really cold, but at the same time I think about how we deal with continuing to manage protecting our family when she’s going to want to take as more liberal approach to social distancing.

No idea what we do for childcare over the summer though, but we’d be halfway in that position anyway - she leaves part way though summer no matter what.

New poster but I will say that you may feel a huge relief letting her go to another family. Especially if you don’t really need her now. I mean if she plans to travel immediately after quarantine is lifted you probably will need to keep her out of your house or make her isolate in her room when she’s home... so you won’t even get the childcare you need when you need it.

We rewatched with ours immediately upon her declaring she was not going to social distance in the way we expected. We have essentially been on quarantine ourselves since the 15th. She had no problems rematching within 5 days.

I'm here to tell you it is a tremendous relief not having to feed or have a 5th person under foot.

Anonymous wrote:Why wouldn’t you allow her to go out and travel if she is legally allowed to do so and government declares it is safe to do so?

Because, like many other things in our country these days, the government declaration that it's "safe" to stop social distancing may well be politicized. Until just a few days go, Trump was saying the country would be open again by Easter. Obviously that would have been a catastrophe.

The fact of the matter is that this virus is going to be a hazard at least until a vaccine is developed. It's perfectly reasonable for families to feel nervous about an AP who is dying to get out of the house the minute official restrictions are lifted.

Anonymous wrote:I'd let her go in your shoes.

+1