Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we started paying ours extra--and guess what? AP is blowing it on crappy food delivery every single night. It's her choice, but it's really annoying since she is on a so-called diet

I would be more worried of the virus exposure from the daily delivery ugh

Who in the world cares about what she is spending the extra money on?!? Such an odd irritation.

We are paying $60 extra per week. It looks like my au pair is also using a bunch of the additional money for food deliveries, but since she is not going anywhere right now, she mentioned that she is saving a ton of money.

Most people are “stress-snacking” / indulging, and the au pairs have a right to do so as well. We have young women here, away from their families, stuck in the house, in the midst of a pandemic ...

Because she claims to want to lose weight which is why she stopped eating our *healthy* dinners yet is perfectly fine spending it on crap food. It's hypocritical. Am I going to stop it or say something? Of course not. do what you need to do to cope. I can be annoyed and vent on an anonymous forum. I thought that's what these were for?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we started paying ours extra--and guess what? AP is blowing it on crappy food delivery every single night. It's her choice, but it's really annoying since she is on a so-called diet

I would be more worried of the virus exposure from the daily delivery ugh

Who in the world cares about what she is spending the extra money on?!? Such an odd irritation.

We are paying $60 extra per week. It looks like my au pair is also using a bunch of the additional money for food deliveries, but since she is not going anywhere right now, she mentioned that she is saving a ton of money.

Most people are “stress-snacking” / indulging, and the au pairs have a right to do so as well. We have young women here, away from their families, stuck in the house, in the midst of a pandemic ...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we started paying ours extra--and guess what? AP is blowing it on crappy food delivery every single night. It's her choice, but it's really annoying since she is on a so-called diet

I would be more worried of the virus exposure from the daily delivery ugh

Anonymous wrote:we started paying ours extra--and guess what? AP is blowing it on crappy food delivery every single night. It's her choice, but it's really annoying since she is on a so-called diet

Anonymous wrote:I am an AP and my hf had already given me a raise before Corona so my pay hasn't changed since (I am paid $300 for 45h/week), but them giving me a raise made a massive difference (it didn't change the way I work) as it made me feel very appreciated and valued.

What's been helping during Corona and has made me not consider going home for a minute though is that, my host family understands that Corona isn't fun for anyone, least of all me. My hours haven't changed but my work conditions have. I know have both kids at home (and have had them for 3 weeks as the older one was sick before the lockdown) as well as the parents, I can't do half the things I would normally do with them and I can't even have a proper break outside my working hours.
I am lucky in the sense that the dad was already on paternity leave before this whole ordeal so he currently doesn't have to work, but while many families would have just handed me both kids over and taken this time to hide/relax during my working hours, the dad has been incredibly hand-on with the kids, especially the older one which mean the work load is more similar to what I normally would have which makes a MASSIVE difference. He wanted the older one to still follow her class schedule so he turned himself into a teacher and spends most of the day coming up with activities/classes for her and the mom, who does have to work, make sure she overall works less hour and now finishes around 3.30pm vs her normal 6pm schedule. They have made some adaptation to their rules so that having both kids at home is easier for us all, and as a result, this whole pandemy has brought us even closer. The extra time they spend with their kids allow me to cook for the whole family so they don't have to worry about it at the end of the day, and mean that despite already spending way more time with them than I normally would, I happily volunteer to stay beyond my scheduled hours so they can sneak in a quick nap or a car ride together away from the kids.

More than any kind of increase in salary what's been important to me is how they have also stepped up to the plate during this pandemy and how they made it so we all work as a team and less like I am picking up the slacks. We are all supporting each other and I came from dreading a lockdown to actually quite enjoying our set up (obviously still dreaming of those post-Covid-19 days!).

I am sure your AP would enjoy any increase in salary, I also think what will make a difference to her is acknowledging that this is a hard time for her and not really what she initially signed up for by making accommodation to her schedule/workload where it can be made, by giving her extra breaks here or there, being more lax about the TV/video games rules, buying activities/board games they can try and play together etc...


Even if an AP is used to work 45hours, it's very different working 45hours and then being able to unwind outdoors with friends and attending events vs having to try and unwind and disconnect while hearing the toddler crying or the 8yo having a tantrum and host parents screaming outside your bedroom door. It's also very different being locked in with a family 24/7 and being expected to perform/put on a good front when also being worried sick about your own family.

APs who chose to stay are making a big sacrifice. I am French and my country has recently closed its borders (the embassy has communicated with us that if we wanted to go home it should be within the next couple of days as after this, there would be no guarantee that there would be any planes back to France), I have made the decision to stay but I also know it means that if any of my family members gets Covid and worse, die from it, I have ultimately forfeited the right to see them one last time or say goodbye to them. I haven't seen my mother in over a year and half and she has just had a baby. I have made that decision because I have an AMAZING host family who has been so supportive of me, that they are also family to me and I couldn't imagine leaving them when they most need me. But ultimately it's still a sacrifice and definitely not what I had signed up for. APs who stay are picking to stay and support your family above theirs so anything you can do to do their life a little easier, definitely do it.

You seem like a great host family, OP and I am sure your AP is already appreciative of what you do for her, and the fact that you are trying to find ways to show her your appreciation on here shows that you care and I am sure this pandemy will, like for my hf and I, be something that brings you together instead of tearing you apart.