We did not extend with a mediocre au pair. We regretted it for a long time. Our next two were much worse.

What tools have you given her to “swoop in” with the non-meltdown child? Is this meltdown as a result of sn or temper tantrum when child doesn’t get their way? If you don’t want her to yell, what have you asked her to do instead? What do you want her to do when your 5yo doesn’t get dressed when asked?

Anonymous wrote:Op again. There aren’t a ton of meltdowns that was more an example of her running away. In the morning she doesn’t help the kids move along. She seems to think that she can tell a 5 year old to get dressed and if they didn’t, well they didn’t listen. So I end up monitoring all of the morning rush while she basically unloads the dishwasher and packs a snack. If I ask for more help she gets flustered and starts yelling at the kids which is not helpful. So we sort of divided the tasks right now where I get the kids ready and she does the other tasks. So basically I’m a hot mess every morning when I get to work bc I’ve been running around. So for me the afternoons are working ok with the divide and conquer driving but any crunch time she is useless. I’ve tried talking to her about how to be more helpful but it just isn’t so this is the way we are get out through.

So give her these tasks:
Unload dishwasher, keep out dishes for cooking breakfast, making lunch, water bottles
Make breakfast (scrambled eggs, instant oatmeal, something hot and quick)
While kids eat:
Pack snacks/lunches, put in backpack by door
Clean water bottle into backpack
Boots and coats by the door
Shoes and gloves in backpack
Check backpack for homework, book
While mom gets teeth brushed and boots/coats on:
Clean up the kitchen
Put kids in car and drive to school

Your morning looks like this:
Get up, shower and dress
Get kids up (one at a time, if necessary, to limit waiting for the bathroom)
Get them dressed
Send them down to eat breakfast
You do your hair (15 minutes tops)
Go down and get kids to brush teeth, dressed to go
Go finish hair (if you need to) or do make up

Total time should be under an hour. If you prefer more time for hair/make up, get up earlier.

Op here. Thanks. This is our 4th au pair. 1st was amazing and stayed for 2 years. 2nd was mediocre and she stayed one, 3rd was amazing and stayed for 2, and this one is pretty good, but certainly not amazing. Maybe it is hard because we have had amazing 4 of 6 years so far, but I agree it certainly isn’t bad.