Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she is working and he is hanging with her I think its fair that he eats the same food she eats.

If she is off I would assume they would be out and about doing things during the day and will probably just have breakfast with you and maybe some snacks.

If she’s working, he shouldn’t be “hanging out” with her.

This is a big deal to set expectations and boundaries. Is he going out by himself to see sights? Or will he "work" alongside her and interact with your kids too? Are you comfortable with this? Will his presence make her performance better or worse (distracted)?

Anonymous wrote:Your AP is not cheap. She's saving money.

Ok. Then AP is being selfish. AP could be buying food for her houseguest instead of relying on her host family to provide for him just so she can have a fabulous travel month by herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey, Nanny. With your high caliber/professional/non-cheap work ethic, why are you posting on the internet in the middle of the day instead of doing your job?

Hey, Mom. With your high caliber/professional/non-cheap work ethic, why are you posting on the internet in the middle of the day instead of doing your job ?

... I'm sure you'll tell me you're home .... so let me rephrase it : Hey, Mom. Why are you posting on the internet instead of spending time with your husband and children?

WTF is wrong with you? Not everyone has a 9 to 5 job. Why are you posting snarky remarks then?

Your AP is not cheap. She's saving money.

Anonymous wrote:If she is working and he is hanging with her I think its fair that he eats the same food she eats.

If she is off I would assume they would be out and about doing things during the day and will probably just have breakfast with you and maybe some snacks.

If she’s working, he shouldn’t be “hanging out” with her.

If she is working and he is hanging with her I think its fair that he eats the same food she eats.

If she is off I would assume they would be out and about doing things during the day and will probably just have breakfast with you and maybe some snacks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are right. It is a lot of money. And if you're not comfortable with that (I wouldn't be) you get to set the parameters. It does not make you cheap. Disregard anyone trying to make you feel bad about this. There are trolls (nannys?) on here who try to make you feel cheap if you don't provide your AP with absolutely everything they want. That's not your job.

How odd that you blame nannies for being possible trolls, when it could easily be Au Pairs. It would benefit them far more to push OP to pay for extra groceries. Nannies don't have a dog in the fight.

Oh really? Why do nannies post negative stuffs about the AP here all the time?

Again, how do you know they're nannies?

AP has plenty of food! and she definitely does not need to buy ANY of her own groceries. Ever.
She does not eat out; she does not spend money. If anyone is cheap, it is her. She does not travel. So its safe to assume they will not be eating out...unless she is has a gift card for somewhere.

I told he is welcome to stuff we have and of course family dinners, but also asked that they go shopping to pick things up as well. She had no problem with this. (She actually initially offered to go on one of my grocery trips which I declined...that is too much money to shop for my family.)

Anonymous wrote:Hey, Nanny. With your high caliber/professional/non-cheap work ethic, why are you posting on the internet in the middle of the day instead of doing your job?

Hey, Mom. With your high caliber/professional/non-cheap work ethic, why are you posting on the internet in the middle of the day instead of doing your job ?

... I'm sure you'll tell me you're home .... so let me rephrase it : Hey, Mom. Why are you posting on the internet instead of spending time with your husband and children?

Former AP here.

Just ask her to buy extra groceries, it's not complicated and it absolutely makes sense !

My host family back then had a rule : if my family visits they will have to stay at a hotel. I think they've been burned before ((they have had 6 Au Pairs before me).

If they had welcomed my family I would have NEVER expected them to feed us, I would have bought extra food for sure and would have cooked for everybody.

Now, when you cook for 6 and there's a 7th person (for instance), it's not complicated to add an extra portion and you can cook very easy and cheap food : pasta, pizza etc.
That's if you're too shy to tell her to buy food and that she doesn't offer.
Next time you'll be able to add that little chapter in your handbook if you have one

Anonymous wrote:You are being very cheap. Bread, ham, mayo, coffe, milk or cereal (cheerios) and a couple of bananas or even eggs are not too expensive to share for 2 weeks. I think the will be happy eatting that. As the way that you are describing it seems like You will be responsible of "cooking for them). I don't think you are planning to cook really really breakfast, lunch and dinner for them. Like a "pot roast" "chicken with vegetables" "chicken soups" "spaghetti with sauce and meatballs" "steak with roasted vegetables" "ribs with potatos" etc. It you will be planning to cook that for them; So in that case I will Say that It will be Very expesive to meat Another mouth in the house for 2 weeks.

Well, we provide food for AP to make her own breakfast, typically warm up leftovers for her for lunch, and make a homemade dinner for AP every night. We invest in quality ingredients - a typical weekly menu includes handmade pasta, seasonal risotto, homemade pizza, fresh wild fish, local vegetables in a variety of preparations. Our AP is well-fed and our kids are eating the rainbow. Hosting an adolescent male with a normal healthy appetite for 3 weeks is pretty expensive, actually. I would split the baby and take your AP to Costco and load up on frozen food and food that can freeze (croissants, loaves of bread), as well as staples like jams, spreads, tuna, etc. I would explain to her that you’re happy her family member is coming but you won’t be cooking for her or him during their stay, and that’s she welcome to all of the stocked up food, but that beyond that, she and family member are going to need to buy their own groceries or eat out. You won’t touch the stocked up stuff, and she won’t touch the rest of the fridge or pantry unless it’s for kids.

You are being very cheap. Bread, ham, mayo, coffe, milk or cereal (cheerios) and a couple of bananas or even eggs are not too expensive to share for 2 weeks. I think the will be happy eatting that. As the way that you are describing it seems like You will be responsible of "cooking for them). I don't think you are planning to cook really really breakfast, lunch and dinner for them. Like a "pot roast" "chicken with vegetables" "chicken soups" "spaghetti with sauce and meatballs" "steak with roasted vegetables" "ribs with potatos" etc. It you will be planning to cook that for them; So in that case I will Say that It will be Very expesive to meat Another mouth in the house for 2 weeks.

I have not had BRo pairs but when i read on here on how much they eat there is no way I could afford to feed them or a visiting brother! I have no recollection of my own brother eating anywhere near those amounts.

I have NO problems setting boundaries in my house.

Thanks for the reasonable responses. None of this is “cheap.” It’s boundaries. Three weeks is a long time to buy extra food for their “vacation” my house isn’t vacation. It’s her home for her to have guests. Not for her to have guests that requires me to do more work.

Also nanny - you’re on the clock during those meals. Brother isn’t ever on the clock.

Hey, Nanny. With your high caliber/professional/non-cheap work ethic, why are you posting on the internet in the middle of the day instead of doing your job?