Nanny here. My first few interviews, I pretty much saw what I wanted to see (big mistake) because something about the position was so appealing. My first and second jobs were great despite my rose colored glasses. I just got lucky. My third job was bad with bad people. In hindsight, there were red flags in the first interview.

I am far more discerning now in the interviewing process. You have to look at your potential employers critically and take everything in - their questions to you, their intelligence, their moral leanings and politics (if they espouse their politics) as well as their culture (if not from the same culture as you). You have to look around their living room and accept that this is the cleanest it will ever be. Never take anyone’s word for the kind of person they are (eg “I’m very laid back”).

I would say this was true for employers looking for a nanny as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My employers seemed lovely and sane during the interview process. Shortly after starting work, the mother had a huge fight with her mother and cut her off for awhile. Then she had a fight with her husband regarding his mother and told me she was divorcing him. She had near constant fights with her MIL always wishing death upon her MIL. And fired an employee at her work for being short with her and questioning her.

I should have seen it coming... after three years, she turned on me in the course of a few days and I was fired and cut out completely.

Classic idealization then devaluation. I should have listened to my gut at the first fight with her own mother. I knew then she wasn’t stable. But honestly, I was too lazy and too tired to start the interview process at that point.

When people show you who they are - believe them. The biggest mistake is thinking that person would never do the same to you.

I learned this the hard way too but with a friend.

+2. When you witness someone treating another badly or unfairly, KNOW that this is how they will treat you one day.

-another who learned this lesson the hard way.

Anonymous wrote:I noticed a red flag during an interview - my dog did not like the prospective nanny right away when meeting her.

We did not hire her. We hired someone else, who would often lay on the floor petting our dog while our baby was napping.

I interviewed with a family whose dog tried to bite me. Huge red flag. Went with the hamster family. Been with them five years.

Admitting you’re a “germaphobe” is really saying you have anxiety and will make your nanny’s life a misery.

I missed this red flag.