Anonymous
Post 10/09/2019 07:18     Subject: Sick days?
I always if she's OK to take care of the kids and go from there. I for me my APs have almost always said reassured me that they can, and I emphasize that they should take a day off if they really feel like crap. I have a feeling our strong relationships with APs makes them feel cared for, confident they will be OK if they take time off when sick, and motivated to work if possible. Over 5 years hosting we've had maybe 5 sick days.
Anonymous
Post 10/09/2019 04:54     Subject: Sick days?
Anonymous wrote:I am from Europe and yes, we stay home when we're sick.


From Europe as well and even worse... we get to stay home sick for three days without a doctor's note at full pay. Only after that do we need to go see a doctor (of course sometimes you go at day one because you are sick-sick or injured but with a head cold or a stomach bug you'd usually stay home for a day or two to get better before either going back to work or going to the doctors). Plus, unlimited sick days - you can be sick for three days with a cold this week and then fall and twist your knee next week and then stay home with a headache the week after that... Doesn't mean you might not get fired if it's extensive but yeah, unlimited (fully paid) sick days with no need to go see a doctor for up to three days.
Heck, I fractured my patella last year (two surgeries, two weeks in hospital, 30 sessions of PT). Six weeks at home at full pay, an additional 14 weeks at home partly (2/3) paid by my health insurance and topped up to my usual net salary by my employer (for up to 78 weeks).

When do I not get a paid sick day? Oh right, when my kids are sick unless I first take them to a doctor to get a sick note and then go see my doctor for a "child sick" note - with the sick child in tow of course. That's (part of) why we have an AP. I of course also don't get a sick day when my childcare provider is ill. But there are 30 days of vacation I could use for that and there is always my overtime I can spend on watching my kids when they are ill or AP is.

However... there is being sick and there is being "sick".
If your AP has a fever of a 102, please offer a sick day. If your AP is throwing up, please offer a sick day. If you feel your kids are unsafe if being watched by your AP because she is simply too sick to provide a safe environment for them (depending on their ages, her duties and their own health issues), please do offer a sick day. Yes, it's a pain. If she has the sniffles and there are no underlying reasons why she should not be able to watch your child (not an infant, not immunocompromised, AP doesn't have asthma etc.), put her on "light" duty (no household chores, no activities, just tv, audio book, playing board games), maybe try to not have her drive if she's on medication.
Being sick is human, it's not a luxury. The US make it a luxury but it really shouldn't be.
Anonymous
Post 10/08/2019 12:31     Subject: Sick days?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Our au pair has been sick a lot already and we are still not into the cold months.
To her credit she has only asked for one sick day and it was at a time when she knew I was ok to take off work. I have a very busy fall coming up and am worried she will need days off if she gets sick.

How do you generally handle sick days? I usually just ask her if she is feeling well enough to take care of the girls and cross my fingers.

While I'm not unsympathetic and will make soup and pick up medicine, I am also not someone who ever takes sick days so I find it hard to relate.



Some of us don't have a choice about whether we "take" sick days or not. We are too sick so going in is not an option---something to think about for you regarding the ableist language.

In terms of the AP, as others have said, it is very difficult to fake being sick when living with someone. I have a severely ashtmatic child, so if my AP was super sick with respiratory issues, I would not want her watch my child. If it was something else, I might just say, have the kids watch a movie and hangout with them. I also make sure I have back up because in between my lupus flares, my child's asthma, and work and school, I always need to have a back up and a back up for the back up


I'm the op and you are completely right. It was very unsympathetic of me to write this post the way I did. In my mind, I was referring to minor colds that seem to be popping up often but I recognize that I am completely disregarding people struggling with actual illness. When I say I don't take sick days, I mean I work through minor ailments. I'm lucky enough to not have to go through what many people do. Apologies to anyone I offended.

wow, thank you. i appreciate it.