Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

You didn’t actually answer the question. How did you manage? How did you give attention when all the kids were upset? Did you morph into 3 people to give each one attention?

I am having a slow day so I'll rise to the bait.

When I have more than one child in distress I assess what's going on and respond accordingly. It's like triage. Is someone bleeding? Throwing up? Hurt in some way? Any dangerous or emergent need gets priority. Are kid(s) crying because I'm late with lunch, they're overdue for a nap, there are dirty diapers, they're bored/scared/fighting with each other? Etc...

You figure out what is happening and you respond. Soothe/comfort as you go, solve problems, address needs, and manage.

No one ever died from crying. I deal with critical needs first and work my way down the critical list. And if it's just soothing and attention that's needed I have two arms, a voice, and two feet. I can hold/talk to/rock or feed several kids at a time if that's what is needed.

Thank you for explaining what everyone has already said. You can’t morph into multiple ppl when all the kids are upset at one time. Which means, there will be a time when Op kids isn’t the center of attention. If Op wants the focus to always be on her kid she will need to find some money and hire a nanny for individual care.

Sounds like it may have been a poor choice of words. But it may also be that nanny is struggling to deal with the needs of all kids involved. Sometimes your baby isn't going to be held the second she wants it and is going to cry.

To those deriding Wonder Weeks as an "internet app" and "snake oil," the website and general theory come from a book by a developmental psychologist which was published in the early 90s and is frequently recommended by pediatricians. Google it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

You didn’t actually answer the question. How did you manage? How did you give attention when all the kids were upset? Did you morph into 3 people to give each one attention?

I am having a slow day so I'll rise to the bait.

When I have more than one child in distress I assess what's going on and respond accordingly. It's like triage. Is someone bleeding? Throwing up? Hurt in some way? Any dangerous or emergent need gets priority. Are kid(s) crying because I'm late with lunch, they're overdue for a nap, there are dirty diapers, they're bored/scared/fighting with each other? Etc...

You figure out what is happening and you respond. Soothe/comfort as you go, solve problems, address needs, and manage.

No one ever died from crying. I deal with critical needs first and work my way down the critical list. And if it's just soothing and attention that's needed I have two arms, a voice, and two feet. I can hold/talk to/rock or feed several kids at a time if that's what is needed.

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked at how many people have said a six month old can’t be spoiled. A six month old will cry a lot more if they get picked up and comforted immediately every time they cry. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking to them or singing to them while you finish what you’re in the middle of. Nine times out of ten, I’ve found that babies calm down and I can come sit on the floor with them and entertain them, thus avoiding the pattern of picking them up every time they cry.

Responding to their cries makes them feel love and begin to trust their fellow humans.

A 6th month old can absolutely be spoiled lol

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

You didn’t actually answer the question. How did you manage? How did you give attention when all the kids were upset? Did you morph into 3 people to give each one attention?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

Wow! A SAHM with “nannies”! You are amazing! How do you manage?!

Never said I was a SAHM. All kinds of people - nannies, teachers, daycare center staff, parents, babysitters, family members - can manage multiple kids. If you're paying a professional to watch your kids and he/she is unable to manage then they are not a professional nanny. OP's nanny needs to do her job or not be a nanny in a share.

NP here and you are dead wrong. No human can soothe two crying babies at the same time or carry one while trying to give equal time to the older child. I’ve worked in daycare centers and the teachers have no choice but to let the babies cry.

You are simply completely out of touch with the reality of multiple children.

That said, OP - you cannot spoil a baby. However, in a group care situation you have to accept that your baby may not always be held. If you want individual attention or your baby, get a nanny just for her/him and bow out of the share until your child is older.

This is hilarious. Any parent with more than one child, let alone parents of twins/triplets, etc..., let alone any actually professional and experienced nanny, would laugh at this. I'm not going to engage any further, it's pointless, but OP is not out of line to expect her baby to be soothed. Period.

Dp...I’m confused, what is the poster out of touch about? I’m a nanny and I’m not laughing at that poster. I am smirking at your post though. If you want your baby to have 1 on 1 attention then you don’t put them in daycare or a share. You hire a nanny who will give your baby that individual attention.

6-month-old babies can definitely get spoiled (I have many years of experience in childcare so know what I am talking about). I can tell the OP is a first-time mom and failed to prepare her baby for a nanny share situation. Forget sleazy apps, your baby needed a tight schedule for eating/napping/diaper change/PLAYING AND ENTERTAINING HERSELF!!!! No the nanny should not hold your baby all day.....that is unhealthy for both of them and it is your job if you choose to. loving a baby does not mean hold them all day. Also the nanny can tell you if the baby is fussy because there might be something wrong with her that need checking up on.

OP, I'm confused.

Your OP says "the other babies" in the share are around 17 months... just how many babies are in this share?

Some pp's are implying that there is only one other baby to watch besides yours, but your OP leads us to believe that there are at least 2 other babies in the share...

The only way to answer your questions is to know how many babies total are in the share (including your baby)?

My concern would be, if ALL of the other babies are in the same age group & that age group is a whole year older than your child, then those babies are doing very different activities than your baby... and those babies are probably VERY active and keep her very busy.

If I were you, I'd want to be damn sure that she's not just sticking my 6 month old in a swing, on a playmat or strapped into a chair all day, just because she's so busy chasing around two or three 17 month old babies.

If your concerned about this, you should definitely have your baby in a nanny share with babies that are similar in age to yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

Wow! A SAHM with “nannies”! You are amazing! How do you manage?!

Never said I was a SAHM. All kinds of people - nannies, teachers, daycare center staff, parents, babysitters, family members - can manage multiple kids. If you're paying a professional to watch your kids and he/she is unable to manage then they are not a professional nanny. OP's nanny needs to do her job or not be a nanny in a share.

NP here and you are dead wrong. No human can soothe two crying babies at the same time or carry one while trying to give equal time to the older child. I’ve worked in daycare centers and the teachers have no choice but to let the babies cry.

You are simply completely out of touch with the reality of multiple children.

That said, OP - you cannot spoil a baby. However, in a group care situation you have to accept that your baby may not always be held. If you want individual attention for your baby, get a nanny just for her/him and bow out of the share until your child is older.

This is hilarious. Any parent with more than one child, let alone parents of twins/triplets, etc..., let alone any actually professional and experienced nanny, would laugh at this. I'm not going to engage any further, it's pointless, but OP is not out of line to expect her baby to be soothed. Period.

I am shocked at how many people have said a six month old can’t be spoiled. A six month old will cry a lot more if they get picked up and comforted immediately every time they cry. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking to them or singing to them while you finish what you’re in the middle of. Nine times out of ten, I’ve found that babies calm down and I can come sit on the floor with them and entertain them, thus avoiding the pattern of picking them up every time they cry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

Wow! A SAHM with “nannies”! You are amazing! How do you manage?!

Never said I was a SAHM. All kinds of people - nannies, teachers, daycare center staff, parents, babysitters, family members - can manage multiple kids. If you're paying a professional to watch your kids and he/she is unable to manage then they are not a professional nanny. OP's nanny needs to do her job or not be a nanny in a share.

NP here and you are dead wrong. No human can soothe two crying babies at the same time or carry one while trying to give equal time to the older child. I’ve worked in daycare centers and the teachers have no choice but to let the babies cry.

You are simply completely out of touch with the reality of multiple children.

That said, OP - you cannot spoil a baby. However, in a group care situation you have to accept that your baby may not always be held. If you want individual attention for your baby, get a nanny just for her/him and bow out of the share until your child is older.

This is a nanny share. If most of her attention is on your fussy baby then the other children are being put second. Maybe she wants it to be more equal .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your nanny is ridiculous and I would be worried.

I also think judging things by "leaps" on a day to day basis will make you unnecessarily anxious and insecure in your parenting.

You cannot spoil a 6 month old baby. They cry when they need something, and it is ok if what they need is nothing more than fundamental attention.

Trust your instincts and tell the nanny (appropriately of course) that you expect her to respond to your child's cries, even if she thinks it's coddling.

That's her job. That's why you have a nanny - to take fantastic, focused care of your baby in the manner you want. If she's unable or unwilling you need another nanny (or nanny share).

-MB

OP is in a nanny share. What should the nanny do when both kids need her - forget the other child just to focus and carry your child?!

I have multiple kids, including twins, and I manage. So have our nannies. A good nanny, especially a nanny experienced in shares, manages multiple kids beautifully.

Wow! A SAHM with “nannies”! You are amazing! How do you manage?!

Never said I was a SAHM. All kinds of people - nannies, teachers, daycare center staff, parents, babysitters, family members - can manage multiple kids. If you're paying a professional to watch your kids and he/she is unable to manage then they are not a professional nanny. OP's nanny needs to do her job or not be a nanny in a share.