This is a hard no for us. We pay the agency to arrange for the visa and are indirect sponsors. We would be out all our program fees for the year (Or have to take a credit) if something happened.
Babysitting seems to be an easy way for APs to make extra money, but really, they're already putting in a full week with my kids. I wouldn't want them starting the week with short nerves because of other people's kids.
Even if we looked away occasionally, the way AP approached OP would rub me wrong, and suggests it's going to be a long year. Is she willing to let you break program rules on your end? Consecutive days off, schedule in advance, etc -- absolutely not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that if an au pair is caught breaking the rules of her visa, she will be sent home immediately - leaving the host family with no childcare? I don't know why any host family would be ok with this. We follow the rules of the program.

Many LCCs don't care and all AP gets is a verbal slap on the wrist. Not saying it's ok, but when the agency won't give any consequences to breaking the rules, then it's hard to do anything about it if yours is doing side gigs.

Your attitude is exactly what gives the program a bad name. This particularly applies to the situations where HPs are breaking the rules. Clearly, I do not follow my AP around and if she lies about her plans and babysits in her free time, there is nothing I can do about it. But if she asks, the answer is no. We also don't ask/make our APs watch kids over the weekend, while DH and I take a trip or ask/make our APs work 50+ hours a week, etc. Could we get away with it? Sure! But it does not make it ok to break the rules.

+100 IF there's an issue, it is not going to be pinned on us. I say this as I suspect that our au pair got married in secret a few weeks ago.....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that if an au pair is caught breaking the rules of her visa, she will be sent home immediately - leaving the host family with no childcare? I don't know why any host family would be ok with this. We follow the rules of the program.

Many LCCs don't care and all AP gets is a verbal slap on the wrist. Not saying it's ok, but when the agency won't give any consequences to breaking the rules, then it's hard to do anything about it if yours is doing side gigs.

Your attitude is exactly what gives the program a bad name. This particularly applies to the situations where HPs are breaking the rules. Clearly, I do not follow my AP around and if she lies about her plans and babysits in her free time, there is nothing I can do about it. But if she asks, the answer is no. We also don't ask/make our APs watch kids over the weekend, while DH and I take a trip or ask/make our APs work 50+ hours a week, etc. Could we get away with it? Sure! But it does not make it ok to break the rules.

Anonymous wrote:You realize that if an au pair is caught breaking the rules of her visa, she will be sent home immediately - leaving the host family with no childcare? I don't know why any host family would be ok with this. We follow the rules of the program.

Many LCCs don't care and all AP gets is a verbal slap on the wrist. Not saying it's ok, but when the agency won't give any consequences to breaking the rules, then it's hard to do anything about it if yours is doing side gigs.

You realize that if an au pair is caught breaking the rules of her visa, she will be sent home immediately - leaving the host family with no childcare? I don't know why any host family would be ok with this. We follow the rules of the program.

Our philosophy on this is that we do not grant her permission to do this...nor do we prohibit it. She's an adult. When we've had AP's ask, we remind them that it's against the rules but let them know that they are adults who make the choice and take the risk. We do tell them that we will rematch if they use our car to transport children without our consent and that the same is true if they won't make a last minute schedule change due to having a babysitting job.

We have allowed it but only for families that we know, and only if we do not need AP to work at that time. She is required to check with us first and give us first right of refusal.

Reason we want her to do it with families that we know is that we know they won't cause any problems for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not allowed. Not okay. Many of us have au pairs because we have irregular schedules.......I don't want to have to deal with my neighbor's needs. They can get their own childcare.

They are, and they are probably paying your Au pair triple what you pay her.

Then come to the US via other methods. Don’t come on a j1 visa. When I’ve worked abroad, I followed the rules. Simple as that

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not allowed. Not okay. Many of us have au pairs because we have irregular schedules.......I don't want to have to deal with my neighbor's needs. They can get their own childcare.

So you just tell her last minute when you need her? What if she has plans?

We give her the schedule on a monthly basis. And it’s irrelevant. It’s against visa rules

Anonymous wrote:Nope, not allowed. Not okay. Many of us have au pairs because we have irregular schedules.......I don't want to have to deal with my neighbor's needs. They can get their own childcare.

They are, and they are probably paying your Au pair triple what you pay her.

She must have gone on Care.com

How is she getting there? Your car? Where is it?

I let my au pairs babysit for friends. And I post for her on local list serv. But I approve it and tell her she can’t accept a
Commitment of, for example, every Friday night. She can commit 1 or 2 weeks in advance.

I know my AP has done some side gigs. I told her it was against the rules, but I don’t police her. Her family has been begging her for money, so I get her reasons. I’ve just told her not to tell me about it.

It's against the rules and I tell that to our APs. That said, both of them have done very occasional babysitting. I just say I don't want to know about it.

Twice recently I've seen APs advertise their services on nextdoor -- this is for regular babysitting (like all day during the day when the kids are at school). To me that's incredibly ballsy.

I don't care what out AP does in her free time.

We don't allow it and we also play by the rules ourselves.