Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I pay her one week of stipend on the Sunday after she arrives so she has some $ for her first week of work. I want to start off on the right foot and this seems to help. I am lucky we can swing this $, and choose to do so, but agree with the PPs that it isnt required.
We give our AP $200 to open her bank account early in that first week when we take her to the bank. It's like paying her for her training week, but also a bit of a "sign on" bonus. She is taking a big risk leaving home and coming to live with us. I want her to know we appreciate her.
Anonymous wrote:I pay her one week of stipend on the Sunday after she arrives so she has some $ for her first week of work. I want to start off on the right foot and this seems to help. I am lucky we can swing this $, and choose to do so, but agree with the PPs that it isnt required.
Anonymous wrote:It’s odd that people aren’t giving the AP’s something. Does APIA pay them that week? If not, are the girls supposed to be ‘broke’ with no US cash until they get paid the following week?
Anonymous wrote:It’s odd that people aren’t giving the AP’s something. Does APIA pay them that week? If not, are the girls supposed to be ‘broke’ with no US cash until they get paid the following week?
I did not realize that we did not have to pay the first Friday that they are here (I’m on my 3rd AP, 2 extensions). Now that I realize that it’s not required (thanks!) I still fully intent to provide cash with a card stating that I wanted to make sure that she has some spending money her first weekend in the US.
I agree with the PP. if coming up with an extra $100 or $200 is a hardship for the family, this may not be the program for you. Despite all of the trolls, this is not a ‘cheap’ program. There are many expenses that add up (hello car insurance and extra cell phone fees!$. Giving an extra $100 at the end of their first full week of training amounts to just $2 extra a week (rounded) or just $4 extra a week over her year if you give $200 that first week.
That’s a small price to pay for the goodwill you will get. Tonight I stopped by Chipotle on my way home. I sent her a text asking if she wanted me to pick her up anything (she loves Chipotle). Guess what? That $7.50 made her extremely happy.
Last week I was sick, and she offered to keep the kids a bit later than usual until my husband got him, so I could lay down. I really appreciated her gesture. This is all reciprocal.
No need to haggle over $2 a week. Give her the extra spending money, and she (hopefully) will
Really appreciate it..
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It would be the nice thing to do, no?
I always pay for things I don't consume of services I have not received.... It should be included in the fee
Anonymous wrote:Of course I want and expect the childcare. For me, I also want them to like our family, enjoy their year and think of the experience as an exchange.
You should read your posts from the perspective of a parent to one of these girls - would you want your daughter to spend a year with a HM who has so much hostility bottled that appears directed at this newly arrived AP?
Its not whether you offer $20 or $200, its about the attitude of wanting to make it work and make it a warm relationship vs. having the attitude of not paying a dime more than required (or at least making it sound like you feel that way in your posts).
Also, while I have paid extras when I think it makes sense, I also use the full 45 hours and pay the exact stipend required. I'm not rich - I'm a working mom whose work-life balance relies on my AP, so I am looking to find low impact ways to make our relationship successful.
Anonymous wrote:I am the 11:15 poster and am a host mom of 5+ years with two extensions under my belt. I dont think this is about money, its about making the girl feel welcome and supported to get the relationship off on a nice foot. There i a meaness your post that in my option reflects is why you are probably a tough host parent to work for - you think its you vs her and are worried about what you HAVE to pay etc. Your use of the word "employer" and drawing a parallel to your first job is exactly the difference between us.
Anonymous wrote:I know this will get criticized, but really if a HF isn't generous in this program to the extent they are able (and if they don't come into it with a generous spirit) I think they wont be successful in the program. So, if an "extra" week of the the full stipend isnt doable, how about saying "Larla, as you know we dont have to pay you for last week, but here is $20/40/100 you can use until Friday when we pay you for your first week of work."