Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cook most meals at my house, and our live-in nanny usually eats with us. I knock on her door and let her know when stuff is ready. She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and is welcome to prepare anything else if what I cooked is not to her liking.

Does she help clean up after meals? Clear the table, load the dishwasher?

If we both work all day, I come home from work, watch the kids while I cook dinner (while she relaxes in her room); then I knock on her bedroom door to let her know dinner is ready, she comes down and eats dinner and does not help clear the table or load the dishwasher (my kids revery young) this won't sit well with me.

She is an adult, if she eats dinner that I prepare she should help out.

I don't have that expectation. She works long hours so I want her to rest and relax when her workday is over. DH or I are cleaning after dinner anyway and one more plate isn't a big deal. But she watches the baby while I make dinner if he's still awake.

Well, if she is watching the the baby if he is awake (outside her work hours) she is helping out. I am working a regular job. If I come home, and I am preparing meals while watching the kids; while nanny is getting her much needed rest, then comes down to eat when dinner is ready and does not help with clean up it won't sit well with me. I understand the OP feelings about this.

Not her kids. You don’t get asked to do work off the clock without compensation. Neither should she. Room and board is not contingent on doing housework that involves the whole family instead of just herself.

So she gets to relax while the OP comes home from work, prepares dinner, Nanny comes down the meal OP prepared, eats and goes back to her room? Come on... Both nanny and OP have full days. The nanny is not being a good housemate. In addition, she is supposed to be preparing her own meals per the OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cook most meals at my house, and our live-in nanny usually eats with us. I knock on her door and let her know when stuff is ready. She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and is welcome to prepare anything else if what I cooked is not to her liking.

Does she help clean up after meals? Clear the table, load the dishwasher?

If we both work all day, I come home from work, watch the kids while I cook dinner (while she relaxes in her room); then I knock on her bedroom door to let her know dinner is ready, she comes down and eats dinner and does not help clear the table or load the dishwasher (my kids revery young) this won't sit well with me.

She is an adult, if she eats dinner that I prepare she should help out.

I don't have that expectation. She works long hours so I want her to rest and relax when her workday is over. DH or I are cleaning after dinner anyway and one more plate isn't a big deal. But she watches the baby while I make dinner if he's still awake.

Well, if she is watching the the baby if he is awake (outside her work hours) she is helping out. I am working a regular job. If I come home, and I am preparing meals while watching the kids; while nanny is getting her much needed rest, then comes down to eat when dinner is ready and does not help with clean up it won't sit well with me. I understand the OP feelings about this.

Not her kids. You don’t get asked to do work off the clock without compensation. Neither should she. Room and board is not contingent on doing housework that involves the whole family instead of just herself.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not understanding why you would even provide her food and groceries? Isn’t she paid and provided room and board? How is it any different from her living with roommates or renting a room in a house where she would be responsible for feeding herself?

Maybe it’s different for au pairs or an overnight sitter, but heck even adults living at home with parents get their own meals.

Board is food... Room and board means lodging and food, literally..

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cook most meals at my house, and our live-in nanny usually eats with us. I knock on her door and let her know when stuff is ready. She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and is welcome to prepare anything else if what I cooked is not to her liking.

Does she help clean up after meals? Clear the table, load the dishwasher?

If we both work all day, I come home from work, watch the kids while I cook dinner (while she relaxes in her room); then I knock on her bedroom door to let her know dinner is ready, she comes down and eats dinner and does not help clear the table or load the dishwasher (my kids revery young) this won't sit well with me.

She is an adult, if she eats dinner that I prepare she should help out.

I don't have that expectation. She works long hours so I want her to rest and relax when her workday is over. DH or I are cleaning after dinner anyway and one more plate isn't a big deal. But she watches the baby while I make dinner if he's still awake.

Well, if she is watching the the baby if he is awake (outside her work hours) she is helping out. I am working a regular job. If I come home, and I am preparing meals while watching the kids; while nanny is getting her much needed rest, then comes down to eat when dinner is ready and does not help with clean up it won't sit well with me. I understand the OP feelings about this.

You are providing the meal, she is not obliged to help clean up the family mess which would exist even if she wasn’t eating with you. She is off the clock. If you want to extend her hours because you are tired and want more help, than pay her.

If she prepares her own meal then yes she needs to clean up after herself. Ofcourse, this likely would be mor expensive and she’d be in the kitchen when you may want to use it so I would not encourage that route.

Have you had a nanny before? My DCs are older and so between the nannies we have had and those friends and family have had, you don’t get to expect extra help. Board includes food....doesn’t include food so long as you help with the kids and clean up after dinner even though you are off the clock.

It’s tricky because she can’t exactly cook her own meals while you are cooking. So on nights you cook, she does not get to pick her own dinner. In that scenario, maybe her not helping with prep or cleanup is reasonable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cook most meals at my house, and our live-in nanny usually eats with us. I knock on her door and let her know when stuff is ready. She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and is welcome to prepare anything else if what I cooked is not to her liking.

Does she help clean up after meals? Clear the table, load the dishwasher?

If we both work all day, I come home from work, watch the kids while I cook dinner (while she relaxes in her room); then I knock on her bedroom door to let her know dinner is ready, she comes down and eats dinner and does not help clear the table or load the dishwasher (my kids revery young) this won't sit well with me.

She is an adult, if she eats dinner that I prepare she should help out.

I don't have that expectation. She works long hours so I want her to rest and relax when her workday is over. DH or I are cleaning after dinner anyway and one more plate isn't a big deal. But she watches the baby while I make dinner if he's still awake.

Anonymous wrote:I cook most meals at my house, and our live-in nanny usually eats with us. I knock on her door and let her know when stuff is ready. She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and is welcome to prepare anything else if what I cooked is not to her liking.

Does she help clean up after meals? Clear the table, load the dishwasher?

If we both work all day, I come home from work, watch the kids while I cook dinner (while she relaxes in her room); then I knock on her bedroom door to let her know dinner is ready, she comes down and eats dinner and does not help clear the table or load the dishwasher (my kids revery young) this won't sit well with me.

She is an adult, if she eats dinner that I prepare she should help out.

I cook most meals at my house, and our live-in nanny usually eats with us. I knock on her door and let her know when stuff is ready. She makes her own breakfast and lunch, and is welcome to prepare anything else if what I cooked is not to her liking.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny lives in with a private room and bath. (Don't worry, she gets two days off a week and is on a 40 hour/week schedule. Firm.) While on duty she prepares her own breakfast and breakfast for the two children. We have also have a live out housekeeper and she prepares lunch and dinner for the family and for the nanny. On the housekeeper's days off, I do the cooking and this includes lunches and dinners for the nanny whether the nanny is on a day off or not. I only ask that she let me know ahead of time if she'll be around for her meals on her days off so I can plan preparation accordingly. On her days off, she is responsible for her own breakfasts though.

I feel this is fair.

Can I be your nanny?

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny lives in with a private room and bath. (Don't worry, she gets two days off a week and is on a 40 hour/week schedule. Firm.) While on duty she prepares her own breakfast and breakfast for the two children. We have also have a live out housekeeper and she prepares lunch and dinner for the family and for the nanny. On the housekeeper's days off, I do the cooking and this includes lunches and dinners for the nanny whether the nanny is on a day off or not. I only ask that she let me know ahead of time if she'll be around for her meals on her days off so I can plan preparation accordingly. On her days off, she is responsible for her own breakfasts though.

I feel this is fair.

How impressive!