I would hire someone to work every week. It's much easier to get into and stay in a pattern that way. It is what healthy people expect to do.
If you are meeting nannies cold, they may wonder what you are hiding because the schedule you are proposing sounds so strange. Even if you tell them the situation, the good employees will want to work everyday. The bad ones will love your schedule because it gives them time to do whatever it is that makes them seek out an oddball schedule where they aren't expected to come to work every week. First it will be "I'm sorry, did I have to work this week?" "then "I'm fighting with my boyfriend, can I just... um... work next week?" then "My family needs me, you don't mind if I just don't show up this week, I promise I'll come next week". You want to treat this like a professional job where your employees are expected to be there everyday even if your kid isn't.


If I were you, I would offer a nanny a position with 45 hours each week. One week can be childcare, the other can be things for you, making sure the fridge is stocked, the pantry is organized, tossing expired items, making sure you have diapers and clothes that fit properly, shopping for these items, discarding broken or outgrown toys, researching activities your child might enjoy... basically all the same things stay at home moms do minus the providing you sex.
Realize too that your separated status may scare women. I would be afraid you'd hit on me, or be so angry at your ex you'd take it out on me, maybe not physically, but you'd yell or act in a manner that would make me uncomfortable if I was with you behind closed doors. Things like "Damn it, Jill Sally never scrubbed the kitchen sink, can't you at least shove this shit down the disposal and turn it on!" Every man says they'd never treat the nanny this way, and most probably mean it, but sometimes we all forget that the person we are dealing with isn't our spouse, brother, sister... whoever. These are things women do have to think about. Lots of things are funny or tolerable when you work in an office with lots of people around. It's much much scarier when it's behind closed doors, even if there isn't a hint of sexual impropriety and truly is a man coming home in a bad mood. I'd also be worried that I might be blamed if your ex came back to the house to get something. The nanny shouldn't be expected to keep the ex out of the house. That's something you need to do with the police and court orders, and only if the house isn't property she legally owns. I'd be worried you'd say "Sally may stop by, if she does just don't let her in, ok?" and then dash out the door. No nanny wants to go up against a pissed off ex-wife who could either hurt her physically, or worse yet, accuse her of molesting or abusing your child. Along with an every week schedule, you need to convey to the nanny that you won't ask her to do anything "above her paygrade" as I like to say. Part of that is making sure you live in an environment and have such a relationship where the ex can't or won't threaten her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DW and are separating and have agreed on 50/50 custody. I’ll need a nanny every other week full time (about 45 hours a week). It would be nice to have someone who can help out around the house and run errands (no deep cleaning, I have a housekeeper every other week).

I’m offering a higher rate since it’s every other week. I’ll need someone who can commit to this schedule, it should not change. Having some issues finding someone who can commit to every other week. What else can I offer?

Best I can do is offer a base rate for the weeks I won’t need them, but then I may want a couple of hours of drop in care and errands. Does this sound reasonable?

What is the higher rate you're offering? Depending on rate, you might be able to find someone who could do this and another PT jobs on other weeks. However, I do think you will be paying a premium for this kind of flexibility.

Not quite $40 but I’d be willing to go into the 30 range for a good fit.

And then a set wage on the weeks they’re with their mother. Probably about $1000 and ask them to do about $15-20 hours worth of errands and household chores (no deep cleaning, just organization.)

My ex-wife does not need any childcare as of now.

Well if you’re offering $30+ for one week, that’s around $1400 per week at $30 (including OT) and then $1000 for the week they’re at their moms sounds reasonable. I think for that, you can definitely get someone to commit but anything less, not likely.

I know a politician who has this schedule with his nannies, 2 nannies work one week (live in, 24/7) and are completely off (live out) the other week. I’m sure he pays quite well for this service, but money can get you whatever you need.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DW and are separating and have agreed on 50/50 custody. I’ll need a nanny every other week full time (about 45 hours a week). It would be nice to have someone who can help out around the house and run errands (no deep cleaning, I have a housekeeper every other week).

I’m offering a higher rate since it’s every other week. I’ll need someone who can commit to this schedule, it should not change. Having some issues finding someone who can commit to every other week. What else can I offer?

Best I can do is offer a base rate for the weeks I won’t need them, but then I may want a couple of hours of drop in care and errands. Does this sound reasonable?

What is the higher rate you're offering? Depending on rate, you might be able to find someone who could do this and another PT jobs on other weeks. However, I do think you will be paying a premium for this kind of flexibility.

Not quite $40 but I’d be willing to go into the 30 range for a good fit.

And then a set wage on the weeks they’re with their mother. Probably about $1000 and ask them to do about $15-20 hours worth of errands and household chores (no deep cleaning, just organization.)

My ex-wife does not need any childcare as of now.

Live-in nanny here. I would be interested in either the current situation (one week on, second week errands, groceries, etc.) or in working for both parents, either live-in with second parent (living with kids, taking them back and forth each week) or living with you full-time and being live-out with kids the second week.

Please post an email address or phone number to discuss. If we’re not a fit, I know a few more live-in nannies who might be.

If you are paying $40+ an hour. Best bet would be to split with Ex or find someone with a similar schedule who needs the off week.

Maybe an au-pair, schedule them full time one week, and the other week, just schedule hours needed.

I’d look for a someone who drives and is willing to do nannying and housekeeping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: DW and are separating and have agreed on 50/50 custody. I’ll need a nanny every other week full time (about 45 hours a week). It would be nice to have someone who can help out around the house and run errands (no deep cleaning, I have a housekeeper every other week).

I’m offering a higher rate since it’s every other week. I’ll need someone who can commit to this schedule, it should not change. Having some issues finding someone who can commit to every other week. What else can I offer?

Best I can do is offer a base rate for the weeks I won’t need them, but then I may want a couple of hours of drop in care and errands. Does this sound reasonable?

What is the higher rate you're offering? Depending on rate, you might be able to find someone who could do this and another PT jobs on other weeks. However, I do think you will be paying a premium for this kind of flexibility.

Doubtful. It's very unusual for a job to be "every other week." Maybe house cleaning?

Anonymous wrote: DW and are separating and have agreed on 50/50 custody. I’ll need a nanny every other week full time (about 45 hours a week). It would be nice to have someone who can help out around the house and run errands (no deep cleaning, I have a housekeeper every other week).

I’m offering a higher rate since it’s every other week. I’ll need someone who can commit to this schedule, it should not change. Having some issues finding someone who can commit to every other week. What else can I offer?

Best I can do is offer a base rate for the weeks I won’t need them, but then I may want a couple of hours of drop in care and errands. Does this sound reasonable?

What is the higher rate you're offering? Depending on rate, you might be able to find someone who could do this and another PT jobs on other weeks. However, I do think you will be paying a premium for this kind of flexibility.