Never ever should au pIr have to share her personal life or social media with her employers

To say that she is not my slave or that I am jealous that she has a more exciting life than me makes me realize this forum or at least the thread is most answered by young au pairs.


Thanks for the helpful answers that came from Host Moms.

Anonymous wrote:I am friends with my au pairs on Instagram and FB. Their generation really doesn't use FB anymore. Mostly Snapchat and Instagram. I don't follow mine on Snapchat.

That said, I have been able to see various levels of permissions from them and frankly, I don't care anymore. When I was a first time HM and they would do this, it would bother me because I felt like you did or excluded.

But now, meh. What they like to hide or not share is up to them. It's social media.

Try to let it go, mom

Thank you. This is a sensible and helpful answer.

Anonymous wrote:You don't own her -- she's not your slave! Why would any parent let their kids become au peres with employer attitudes like this! I would advise my own daughter not to friend her boss or colleagues on social media in any job -- especially in one in which you live with your employer. My God! Get yourself checked!

Calm down.

You don't own her -- she's not your slave! Why would any parent let their kids become au peres with employer attitudes like this! I would advise my own daughter not to friend her boss or colleagues on social media in any job -- especially in one in which you live with your employer. My God! Get yourself checked!

I am friends with my au pairs on Instagram and FB. Their generation really doesn't use FB anymore. Mostly Snapchat and Instagram. I don't follow mine on Snapchat.

That said, I have been able to see various levels of permissions from them and frankly, I don't care anymore. When I was a first time HM and they would do this, it would bother me because I felt like you did or excluded.

But now, meh. What they like to hide or not share is up to them. It's social media.

Try to let it go, mom

You asked for everyone’s opinion on the matter and then didn’t like what you were hearing. It seems that the responses are fairly unanimous that it’s none of your concern. Of course your friends are going to agree with you and tell you what you want to hear. If it bothers you that much that your au pair has a more exciting life than you then you should certainly rematch.

To be honest, this forum is full of trolls. I didnot need all these insulting remarks. I got good advise from mom friends who actually know me well. i have a wonderful relationship with my aupair and it truly saddens me that she feels the need to hide anything from me- when I never check her stories nor ever ask her anything about her life unless she brings it up. This is a person who lives in my house and takes care of my three kids while I am at work, away from them. Why even go an extra mile to think of me for a second in your life to hide anything. If any young girls are reading this, I hope they can see the offputting side of this because trust and transparency is all that moms care. I teach my kids everyday: donot post anything in social media before you think a million times. That’s that-

Anonymous wrote:My kid brought to my attention that our au pair hides her Social media stories from
Us when she goes out. I told my kid, good. She might be posting inappropriate stuff for your age and who cares.
I then realized she is hiding them
From me as well. People can do whatever the heck they want. But someone taking care of my kids, and living in my home shouldnt go an extra mile to block me for few hours hiding what ever she does. I never even check up on her in social media?!!! Why even worry about me? I dont like this attitute one bit. I thought we had a good honest open relationship, this hiding stuff tumed me off big time. It really is a bad taste. Am i wrong? Weird....

It doesn't matter how many followers she has. She can still create certain groups and only allow them to see certain posts. So she could have 1000 followers and only 200 see certain posts.

It's not your business OP.

Anonymous wrote:She is hiding it from me and my family only. Her account is public. She has thousands of followers.

You don't know that. I have groups I only share certain stuff with. Nobody in the group can see my privacy setting and nobody outside of the group can see my privacy settings.

You are insane and have a huge huge boundary issue. Check yourself. Take the freak flag down. It is absolutely none of your business what she does with her personal life in her free time. None. She is not your minor child.

The less you see of your AP and their friends on social media, the better. I had to unfriend a friend of my APs because she kept posting half naked pictures of her--and her settings were public!

Anonymous wrote:My kid brought to my attention that our au pair hides her Social media stories from Us when she goes out.

Do you have your boss on social media? Do you share with your boss what you do when you go out? Or every single family activity? I sure don't.

Op, you're nuts. She is not required to let you see anything on her social media.

Why is your kid paying that much attention to it?

Yawn.....