There are countries where people live in cities and don't drive - or they have conditional licenses for a certain period of time - the difference between a 20 year old au pair and a 25 year old au pair with my insurer is about $1400 annually - which is a lot of money for us. We provide a dedicated car for the au pair to use whenever she wants. It's not an old car - so it's expensive if it gets wrecked, so while we do need her to drive occasionally (young children), we also live on a metro line, so she doesn't need to drive. A car for exclusive use is not printer paper. We pay slightly above the minimum, but also cover a cell phone, gym, etc. There are pluses and minuses. We are middle class.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

"Way more". Money must be really tight for you. The monthly difference between our 20yelr old bropair vs our 23yr old female AP was $40/mo.

I'm someone who pays higher than the stipend and fully disclose that and it's more than insurance.

NP, Yeah yeah you pay more than the stipend, we know that because you make sure to post it in every thread, good for you, do you want a medal or something? Lucky you money is not tight for you!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Insurance is your expense. You need her to drive. If you don’t need her to drive, don’t let her and don’t insure her.

I do pay for it.....

And my employer pays for printer paper but not as a perk to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

I couldn't imagine moving to a different country without seeing the house first. Strange that you would think it's strange. Also, don't all au pairs make the same amount?

+1000. I am honestly dumbfounded that people wouldn’t offer this to their au pairs!! Seems really inconsiderate. This is a young person doing a very brave thing - would you honestly rent an Airbnb in another country without seeing pictures much less agree to live in it for a year? Wtf people! Where is your empathy?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

"Way more". Money must be really tight for you. The monthly difference between our 20yelr old bropair vs our 23yr old female AP was $40/mo.

I'm someone who pays higher than the stipend and fully disclose that and it's more than insurance.

I'm a home mortgage appraiser and see the insides of dozens of homes a month and I'd NEVER move into a home without seeing pictures. I wouldn't even rent a anibnb for a day let alone live in one for a month without detailed photos. Many people are absolute swine the way they live .

No idea why you all are clutching your pearls that someone would have the GALL to want to see the living conditions.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

I couldn't imagine moving to a different country without seeing the house first. Strange that you would think it's strange. Also, don't all au pairs make the same amount?

I am a career nanny and some have experience with APs, but I would never agree to work for a family without seeing their home, and I’m not a live in. Of course she wants to see her living arrangements and how the household is organized. Send honest photos!!!

We have a picture of the exterior of our home in our profile. I think it is rationale to want see the house. I have finalist APs talk to current AP and encourage the current AP to give a "tour" of her room via a video.

Anonymous wrote:Insurance is your expense. You need her to drive. If you don’t need her to drive, don’t let her and don’t insure her.

I do pay for it.....

Insurance is your expense. You need her to drive. If you don’t need her to drive, don’t let her and don’t insure her.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

We had pictures of the home in our profile pictures, gave her a walking tour of the bedroom and bathroom during a prematch Skype call. We did not want her to be surprised by anything when she got here, either responsibilities or accommodations.

As to your last point - even with insurance, gifts and lots of benefits, an au pair is still half of the cost of other in-home care. And don’t forget, the au pair only gets half of what you pay.

Anonymous wrote:We include one pic of the house and one of the AP room in our profile. Never had anyone ask for more.

Ditto

Don’t you want to see what the ap loks like?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Our au pair has a separate suite, so we’re not ashamed or anything, just thought it was a weird request as it has never ever come up before. She’s entitled to ask, just like we’re entitled to count her asking against her. Another candidate said another family was offering a lot more money - we told here sounds great - every offer has pluses and minuses - you’re 20 and costing us way more than an older au pair to insure, but we offer other incentives.

This right here. Many have no idea what the cost of insurance is. And then they want to bean count.