Anonymous wrote:Sure, but just like day care, nanny, or grandparents - they need to be seriously vetted.
We had our first AP join us when my oldest was two and youngest 4 months old. She was 100% fantastic, a very loving, doting and careful caregiver.
Our 2nd AP arrived a year later and I had our next baby 3 months in. She was with me during maternity leave and then took over when I went back to work. I hired a nanny's helper for a few hours a week but she was honestly fine without it. She did a great job taking care of the three.

That's an amazing story. You clearly did an excellent job finding excellent APs!

Sure, but just like day care, nanny, or grandparents - they need to be seriously vetted.
We had our first AP join us when my oldest was two and youngest 4 months old. She was 100% fantastic, a very loving, doting and careful caregiver.
Our 2nd AP arrived a year later and I had our next baby 3 months in. She was with me during maternity leave and then took over when I went back to work. I hired a nanny's helper for a few hours a week but she was honestly fine without it. She did a great job taking care of the three.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a hard no. We had au pair for our just-turned-2 year old and it was a mistake. The kids need to be able to talk and tell you things that might be red flags. As our youngest got older (she’s now 4) the AP situation got much much better (granted it was a different AP). I just think most of these girls aren’t trained in the reality of meeting a non verbal baby’s needs. It’s hard! My own parents got much better with me kids when they were able to communicate their needs.

Talking is not necessarily helpful. Our 5yr old (almost 6) has entered the age of making up stories and lying about stuff.

If you eliminate every problematic age, then there's no good time ever for an AP.

This is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a hard no. We had au pair for our just-turned-2 year old and it was a mistake. The kids need to be able to talk and tell you things that might be red flags. As our youngest got older (she’s now 4) the AP situation got much much better (granted it was a different AP). I just think most of these girls aren’t trained in the reality of meeting a non verbal baby’s needs. It’s hard! My own parents got much better with me kids when they were able to communicate their needs.

Talking is not necessarily helpful. Our 5yr old (almost 6) has entered the age of making up stories and lying about stuff.

If you eliminate every problematic age, then there's no good time ever for an AP.

There are better time. 9d also NEVER hire an AP for a child under 3. We had a nanny for 5 years and switched to APs. We have 5 APs in 6 years and I'm also in the camp of HELL NO.

The difference between a professional nanny and an AP (which is a glorified babysitter) is night and day.

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, a hard no. We had au pair for our just-turned-2 year old and it was a mistake. The kids need to be able to talk and tell you things that might be red flags. As our youngest got older (she’s now 4) the AP situation got much much better (granted it was a different AP). I just think most of these girls aren’t trained in the reality of meeting a non verbal baby’s needs. It’s hard! My own parents got much better with me kids when they were able to communicate their needs.

Talking is not necessarily helpful. Our 5yr old (almost 6) has entered the age of making up stories and lying about stuff.

If you eliminate every problematic age, then there's no good time ever for an AP.

Honestly, a hard no. We had au pair for our just-turned-2 year old and it was a mistake. The kids need to be able to talk and tell you things that might be red flags. As our youngest got older (she’s now 4) the AP situation got much much better (granted it was a different AP). I just think most of these girls aren’t trained in the reality of meeting a non verbal baby’s needs. It’s hard! My own parents got much better with me kids when they were able to communicate their needs.

We got our first au pair when our youngest was just over 1. She was very careful and good with him, but didn’t bond well with our older kids who were 3 & 6. She stayed a year, then extended to a family with older kids and rematched almost immediately. She rematched into a family with kids the same ages mine had been her first year, stayed a year with them and then returned home to work in a daycare. She was great with really little kids but I think we got lucky. I am also a wahm so I was around a lot and able to give backup help when she needed. She never was with the baby for 10 hours on her own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope nope nope. I first learned about APs when we moved into our home.next door to a CCAP LCC. The rematch rate across the board was 35% with the bulk of those rematches with young children. The stories I heard made my blood curdle. One infant had such awful diaper rash she got a staph infection. Not a chance.

We were very lucky to have our LCC be a neighbor and good friend or else after seeing the revolving door of INSANE drama in would have never entered with any child into the program.

So you’re anti au pairs in general, got it.

An au pair could not have caused a staff infection, get a clue.

We have an AP, we are on our 4th. And no, an AP can't cause a staff infection. She caused a staph infection from such severe diaper rash. Because she didn't change the diapers frequently enough. The baby's bum got so infected it was bloody and became infected. Obviously the AP was sent home.

If an AP is sl neglectful she can't change diaper and let's thr baby sit in poop for hours on end, I'm guessing she was also neglecting the baby's emotional needs.

Anonymous wrote:Nope nope nope. I first learned about APs when we moved into our home.next door to a CCAP LCC. The rematch rate across the board was 35% with the bulk of those rematches with young children. The stories I heard made my blood curdle. One infant had such awful diaper rash she got a staph infection. Not a chance.

We were very lucky to have our LCC be a neighbor and good friend or else after seeing the revolving door of INSANE drama in would have never entered with any child into the program.

So you’re anti au pairs in general, got it.

An au pair could not have caused a staff infection, get a clue.

Nope nope nope. I first learned about APs when we moved into our home.next door to a CCAP LCC. The rematch rate across the board was 35% with the bulk of those rematches with young children. The stories I heard made my blood curdle. One infant had such awful diaper rash she got a staph infection. Not a chance.

We were very lucky to have our LCC be a neighbor and good friend or else after seeing the revolving door of INSANE drama in would have never entered with any child into the program.

Hellllll, no! We used a professional nanny when our children were non verbal. Not worth cutting corners with an infant.

My first au pair started when my daughter was 12 months, and was wonderful. She is Brazilian and they grow up adoring and caring for babies and children. I am single and work full time so other choice. I got lucky, I guess. I was only home with the au pair for 2 weeks before I had to return to work, but all went smoothly. She was 21 and already a nurse at home in Brazil.

In your case I would say no, but we did have an au pair for an infant BUT she started right before I had my 4 month mternity leave. So I basically trained her for 4 months. If I didn’t do that, no way I would be comfortable.

I hear more negative than positive stories. However, we were one of those positive ones. Our AP came when the twins were 2 months old. The first couple of months, she was helping me, after that she was on her own and she was amazing.

We will be trying this out this year - would have loved to put number 2 in our sons daycare but the reality is schlepping two small kids to and from daycare and dealing w the lottery of sickness / weather delays without nearby family is too stressful. Our future au pair has experience with nephews and seems really sweet, but we’ll see how it goes. My husband does work from home and I have some flexibility in teleworking too, so I am hopeful that will help.