Anonymous wrote:My thought was more along the lines of putting it on the shoe mat or something similar, but leaving it there works too. Why would anyone want it put on the counter?!

Exactly! This is something I also thought and mentioned in a previous post. It’s sitting on the ground outside, so it’s reasonable to think someone wouldn’t want it on their countertops.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The newspaper is ridiculous. Why would she throw it on the floor?

I agree. The nanny should just leave it on the ground at the end of the driveway because her employer is ungrateful.

My thought was more along the lines of putting it on the shoe mat or something similar, but leaving it there works too. Why would anyone want it put on the counter?!

Anonymous wrote:The newspaper is ridiculous. Why would she throw it on the floor?

I agree. The nanny should just leave it on the ground at the end of the driveway because her employer is ungrateful.

Anonymous wrote:op: She makes decisions with my older kids about things they'll do on their days off without asking me, buys things for them on my credit card without checking with me. She drops the newspaper on the floor when she arrives in the morning so I have to pick it up.

Okay, so she and your kids leer kids make decisions together about their day. That’s great! As long as she knows the budget, how far they can go and when they need to be back, it’s perfect. She’s teaching them to accept the set parameters and then think for themselves. Set up a google calendar and have her talk through each week with the kids and enter it, that way you know where they are in case of an emergency.

The newspaper is ridiculous. Why would she throw it on the floor?

Either she needs to not have your card or have a weekly limit. What time is she getting that’s an issue?

Anonymous wrote:op: She makes decisions with my older kids about things they'll do on their days off without asking me, buys things for them on my credit card without checking with me. She drops the newspaper on the floor when she arrives in the morning so I have to pick it up.

First two things yiou need to set her straight on ASAP. I’d ignore the third.

What kind of child care did you have for the other two? This sounds like typical nanny stuff to me:

Activities:
Planning activities, outings and playdates for charges during on-duty hours is a pretty standard nanny duty. The only time I would check in with parents would be if I knew in advamce that they would be home that day or if the activity or outing was something outside of our normal routine (like a trip to Monticello) or more expensive than usual ($20+ per kid).

Paying for stuff with the card: if she is buying stuff they need, such as replacing clothes that are outgrown or getting clothes for the next season or buying school supplies, that is again fairly standard. This is more of a gray area because I would normally have some conversations with the parents about their preferences, budget, etc., but again, most parents are thrilled to have clothing of the right size and season magically appear in their kids’ drawers with no effort, likewise shoes, school supplies, sports gear, age-appropriate books, craft supplies, etc.

The newspaper:
Most nannies are pretty specific about their duties vs. things they are doing to help out. If taking in the newspaper is not her actual contracted duty then doing it to a minimal degree (taking itnin and leaving it on the floor near the door) makes sense. She is helping out (saving you putting on shoes and going out in the cold) but she doesn’t want to get into a situation where she is asking for job creep.

My guess is that your previous child care before having a SN child that required a nanny was either an Au Pair, or daycare or some other situation where the child care was JUST child care vs overlapping with a ton of other duties and parenting responsibilities.

Anonymous wrote:op: She makes decisions with my older kids about things they'll do on their days off without asking me, buys things for them on my credit card without checking with me. She drops the newspaper on the floor when she arrives in the morning so I have to pick it up.

The only thing here I might be concerned about if it were me is the credit card. However, I don’t know the situation. What did you both agree upon regarding use of the card?

She also...plans activities...for days when they’d otherwise be bouncing off the walls at home in boredom? Am I reading that right? Nannies are meant to plan things to do for the kids! I must have misunderstood. There’s no way if she’s working, and the kids have the day off, you’d be upset that they have things to do and places to go rather than sitting at home all day. If you were also off that day and wanted to spend time with your kids to do things you wanted, then I’m guessing the nanny wouldn’t be there. I’m puzzled.

Finally, about the newspaper. Like a pp said, she’s going out of her way to do you a favor by bringing it in. I understand leaving things on the floor is generally not ideal, but this is a newspaper that’s been sitting outside. Perhaps she thinks you’d rather not have it on the clean counters? Ether way, you can make a designated spot for the newspaper (a basket on a table near the front door maybe) or you can get it yourself.

By the way, none of this screams “disrespect.” These are minor issues that need to be talked about in a respectful way so that you’re both on the same page.

I hope you’re a troll! Oy!

Yes, from the driveway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:op: She makes decisions with my older kids about things they'll do on their days off without asking me, buys things for them on my credit card without checking with me. She drops the newspaper on the floor when she arrives in the morning so I have to pick it up.

You're upset about a newspaper? You need professional help. I hope she quits and finds a new job with a sane and reasonable person.

It sounds like she considers herself a "full charge" nanny who gets to act more autonomously than you would like. You need to reset the relationship or get a less independent nanny (be careful what you ask for though).

Re: the newspaper is she bringing it in the house from the driveway?? (i.e. doing you a favor in the morning).

Anonymous wrote:op: She makes decisions with my older kids about things they'll do on their days off without asking me, buys things for them on my credit card without checking with me. She drops the newspaper on the floor when she arrives in the morning so I have to pick it up.

You're upset about a newspaper? You need professional help. I hope she quits and finds a new job with a sane and reasonable person.