Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was very close with one of our APs. There is a very mean spirited closed FB group that she showed me that "airs the family's dirty laundry" so to say. There are pictures of some of the host families atrociously messy homes.

I'm not gonna lie, the way some people live is incredibly nasty. Not sure how these people would characterize their homes, if they would just say "cluttered", but what was posted would be very stressful to have to live in.

Cluttered is usually a disaster and yes, dirty.

However! It’s your APs responsibility to clean up if she doesn’t want to encourage the kids to clean up.

I completely disagree. I am the previous poster who mentioned a ‘typical American home, messy from the work/school week hustle. My house during the week has its typical clutter - school papers that need to be signed, a musical instrument, whatever, but I would never say that it was dirty or nasty. If it’s at that level, that’s is not your AP’s responsibility. Come on people, we are all adults here. We should know the difference between what’s acceptable clutter from raising kids vs. what’s excessive clutter and nasty. As the parents, you guys still need to carve time in your own household to make sure that you are keeping it at a decent level.

We have different definitions of cluttered. I would not consider that to be cluttered. When I imagine clutter I imagine https://goo.gl/images/XaHrJE

Anonymous wrote:Make a chore list for every transition - wipe the table and vacuum the kitchen rug after every meal. And schedule 30 min to an hour somewhere durning her day where she is off duty IF those things are all done. She'll shape up.

Anonymous wrote:Our AP has started making comments about how messy our house is. Mind you, we have cleaners come every Monday so we start the week tidy and things deteriorate rapidly with 3 kids. So first of all, I feel like our house is cluttered but not "dirty" as it gets a 4 hour scrub every week but secondly this year is by far the most cluttered our house has been because she doesn't make the kids clean up between activities (yes, we've asked and reminded and told her that her shift isn't over until things are picked up but there is always some excuse AND I don't want her to do it, I want her to have the kids do it like we do on the weekend). By the time Friday hits our house is a disaster and I spend Friday night putting shit away so that I don't go crazy all weekend.

Has anyone scheduled their AP for an hour of kid shit tidying per day (either while they are at school or after she is off shift?) I would prefer my kids clean up their own messes with her oversight but that's not happening and she's the one complaining. This feels like the only thing we haven't tried....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but it sounds like she might be setting you up for a rematch. While I agree, there are levels of "acceptable" clutter, there seems to be a list of "acceptable reasons for rematch that will get you sent to another family but not home" and "the house is just so messy I can't stand it" seems to be on that list.

As a host family looking for a rematch candidate, wouldn't that seem like an ideal AP? She'd be neat and clean....

Plus, it's so subjective. How can the LCC say what is an acceptable level of clutter to make someone live with?

While I agree that having the AP make the kids clean up and finish the project if they don't is ideal, I'd start mentally preparing for the next shoe to drop - especially if she can (in her mind) trace any of the "mess" to have happened outside her shift.

I unfortunately agree. We have hosted over a decade and watched many of APs' friends rematch over the years. Here are the things they complained about to get their rematches approved:

1) The house is too messy
2) There isn't enough food
3) The child hit/kicked/yelled at me

All three will make them look good in rematch and inspire pity from new families, and it's hard for an agency to argue with any of them.

Hope this is not the case here.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say it, but it sounds like she might be setting you up for a rematch. While I agree, there are levels of "acceptable" clutter, there seems to be a list of "acceptable reasons for rematch that will get you sent to another family but not home" and "the house is just so messy I can't stand it" seems to be on that list.

As a host family looking for a rematch candidate, wouldn't that seem like an ideal AP? She'd be neat and clean....

Plus, it's so subjective. How can the LCC say what is an acceptable level of clutter to make someone live with?

While I agree that having the AP make the kids clean up and finish the project if they don't is ideal, I'd start mentally preparing for the next shoe to drop - especially if she can (in her mind) trace any of the "mess" to have happened outside her shift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was very close with one of our APs. There is a very mean spirited closed FB group that she showed me that "airs the family's dirty laundry" so to say. There are pictures of some of the host families atrociously messy homes.

I'm not gonna lie, the way some people live is incredibly nasty. Not sure how these people would characterize their homes, if they would just say "cluttered", but what was posted would be very stressful to have to live in.

Cluttered is usually a disaster and yes, dirty.

However! It’s your APs responsibility to clean up if she doesn’t want to encourage the kids to clean up.

I completely disagree. I am the previous poster who mentioned a ‘typical American home, messy from the work/school week hustle. My house during the week has its typical clutter - school papers that need to be signed, a musical instrument, whatever, but I would never say that it was dirty or nasty. If it’s at that level, that’s is not your AP’s responsibility. Come on people, we are all adults here. We should know the difference between what’s acceptable clutter from raising kids vs. what’s excessive clutter and nasty. As the parents, you guys still need to carve time in your own household to make sure that you are keeping it at a decent level.

We have different definitions of cluttered. I would not consider that to be cluttered. When I imagine clutter I imagine https://goo.gl/images/XaHrJE

Anonymous wrote:I schedule this for our AP. I do tell her she doesn't have to spend that EXACT time I put on the schedule doing the things listed (I specify picking up kid rooms, picking up kid playroom and doing kid laundry) but I put an hour for each and set expectation that as of Friday evening when I get home it all needs to have been done for the week...